Cinema Soapbox - Visual Medium Musings by Jeff Hazen

Top Ten of 2009

2011-12-07T19:47:00.010-06:00

I'm gonna just go ahead and say that the reason this is up so unbelievably past the point of being relevant is because it's a reflection of how I felt about the overall quality of 2009's batch of films. Yeah ok, that works for me. The bizarre thing is I had a whopping total of 30, that's right THIRTY, films that I rated to be 3.5 stars or better. For those keeping score at home, that's the highest number since 2002. So what this means is, the mid-2000s were a very cynical time for me and 2009 represented a sort of renewed optimism for not just film, but life overall. Um, no. Ok ok, so it means that 2009 was a phenomenal year for film and I couldn't post this sooner because it would be irresponsible of me to try and evaluate such greatness right away. Nope again. The correct answer is, who the fuck knows. I call 'em as I see 'em and at the end when looking back, I can tell you how I felt the overall quality was and I maintain that it was down dammit. In yet another exciting twist, for the previous year of our lord 2008, I had only 19 films rated 3.5 stars or higher, BUT of those films, we got 2, possibly 3 bona fide classic films in The Dark Knight and Synecdoche, NY (The Wrestler is the third "potential" classic) and maybe that's why I view 2008 in a more favorable light. Maybe I'm just a top-heavy kinda guy. Let's get this over with.

10) Star Trek - Leave it to J.J. Abrams to deliver a summer blockbuster in the way the good lord intended. I suppose it's semi-relevant that I've never seen a single episode of Star Trek or any of the movies because I like to get laid and can only take so much big ships fighting with lasers in space shit in the span of one lifetime. I'm not entirely sure how this reinvention came across to the die-hards, but for a noob like me, I was exceedingly pleased with how much fucking FUN this film was. Chris Pine made for a charismatic, captivating lead and I'll be damned if Star Trek wasn't the best time I had at the ol' picture show all year.

9) A Single Man - Now that we can call Colin Firth an "Oscar winner" for his work in the tremendously overrated A King's Speech, you might want to hold back on the venom until you've seen his work in A Single Man because then you can go, "Oh THAT'S why it's okay he won!". Not exactly feel-great-about-life material here, but a very well-choreographed and nuanced character study of a man struggling to cope after a painful loss. Very moving stuff.

8) 500 Days of Summer - Stylistic feature film debut for the man responsible for the fate of my beloved Spider-Man series, Marc Webb. At times, it can be a little too cutesy for its own good, but overall, it hits the nail on the head as a compelling study of a failed relationship. Plus, haven't we ALL known that girl.

7) District 9 - So of the 4 films I've listed so far, all but one are feature film debuts for their respective directors, the lone exception being J.J. Abrams and even then, Star Trek was his second film, so maybe 2009 was the year of the promising neophyte. Good job, 2009, you're not so worthless after all. Oh yeah, so District 9 took me by surprise. One of the things that jumped out at me was how the film used a pretty much thoroughly unlikeable protagonist and yet, still made us give a shit. See, world? You CAN have a film set in the future with weird aliens and spaceships and all that other shit you like and not have it be unbelievably stupid! Amazing.

6) Watchmen - I'll admit I was never worried that Zack Snyder could capture the aesthetic of Alan Moore's groundbreaking graphic novel, but pardon me if the director of 300 wasn't exactly a guy I felt confident in grasping the thematic depth of a dense piece of work like Watchmen. Thankfully, he succeeded marvelously and frankly, it was kind of fun watching people go into this film like it was yet another run-of-the-mill superhero film only to walk out going, "What the fuck was that? Gimme my money back." The de-mythologizing of the superhero has never been so fascinating.

5) Moon - Sam Rockwell remains one of his generation's most underrated actors for whatever reason. He's an absolute chameleon and Moon is no exception as he has to play multiple clones of himself. Questions of identity and morality abound in yet another feature debut on this list. Not that I'm putting this in the class of a film like 2001 at all, but echos of it were certainly there.

4) A Serious Man - I'm starting to think that the Coen brothers simply have a pipeline to my soul and I just need to learn to live with it. In a darkly comic study of one man's quest to find the meaning of life and the impact of religion on his own existence, the Coens give us one of their least accessible films (although I'm just happy to live in a world that a directing/writing/producing team as brilliant as the Coens actually somewhat get the recognition they deserve), but yet, one of their more profound, thought provoking ones. But ain't that how it always goes?

3) The Hurt Locker - Taut, intense and brutal. I'm not big on war films, not because they all by and large have the same goal (war is hell, duh), but because they all tend to go about them in similar ways (seriously, we don't need any more films about how the Vietnam war was fucked up). The Hurt Locker succeeds in that it takes overall familiar subject matter and finds a way to make it engaging and thought provoking in a way that doesn't just beat the audience to death with some form of battle sensory overload. Oh and Jeremy Renner, where the fuck have you been hiding?

2) Two Lovers - If Joaquin Phoenix had actually quit acting after this, he could have done a whole fuck of a lot worse. Not only is he great, but the entire cast is in James Gray's expedition into the fucked up male psyche. Devastating on multiple levels and brutally honest. A film that deals with human emotions in a way that it's impossible for you to watch and not see some of yourself in some way, shape or form through the characters. Why do we love who we love or want who we want? Two Lovers explores this in a manner armed with a thesis that suggests there is no formula or logic to it. Maybe this one should have been number one.

1) Up in the Air - When I first saw this, I assumed it was your standard "no man is an island" claptrap bullshit and therefore, I spent 30 of the last 45 minutes just kind of rolling my eyes waiting for the inevitable conclusion until it threw me a curveball and made me realize that this film had higher goals than I originally thought. That's what I get for thinking I'm so smart. While superbly written and acted, I thought we were on familiar ground, but the mere fact that this film had the courage to actually say that, yes things can change but you still have to deal with the life you've lived and lie in the bed you made (plus subsequent viewings), really threw me for a loop and surprised me, in a refreshing way. While Up in the Air would normally be a standard top ten film in any other year as opposed to number one doesn't diminish that it's still a terrific piece of work.

Runners-Up: Inglourious Basterds, Drag Me to Hell, Up, World's Greatest Dad, Red Cliff, The Road, The White Ribbon

Individual Awards:
Best Actor: Colin Firth - A Single Man: This was tough. Jeff Bridges was absolutely phenomenal in Crazy Heart and may have single-handedly elevated that film above mediocrity, but Firth WAS this film. He embodied everything and kept everything remarkably grounded and nuanced and heartbreaking.
Runners-Up: Jeff Bridges - Crazy Heart, George Clooney - Up in the Air, Jeremy Renner - The Hurt Locker, Matt Damon - The Informant!, Tom Hardy - Bronson

Best Actress: Tilda Swinton - Julia: If you want an example of an actor/actress baring it ALL (literally and figuratively), look no further. While I'm not the most easily swayed when it comes to histrionic, bombastic performances, Swinton takes it to another level and deserves recognition.
Runners-Up: Abbie Cornish - Bright Star, Carey Mulligan - An Education, Helen Mirren - The Last Station, Gabourey Sidibe - Precious, Sasha Grey - The Girlfriend Experience

Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Waltz - Inglourious Basterds: Menacing, yet innocent. Give Tarantino credit, he knows how to wring tension out of any scene and he finds the right guys to do it. Waltz is phenomenal in every scene he's in and projects a grave threat that belies his diminutive stature.
Runners-Up: Peter Capaldi - In the Loop, Woody Harrelson - The Messenger, Tsutomu Yamazaki - Departures, Stanley Tucci - The Lovely Bones, Alfred Molina - An Education

Best Supporting Actress: Anna Kendrick - Up in the Air: Displaying a potent combination of precociousness and vulnerability, Kendrick appears at first sight like your typical ingenue, but the more you watch her, especially in this role, you get the sense that there's more sincerity and that she's here to stay.
Runners-Up: Patricia Clarkson - Whatever Works, Blanca Portillo - Broken Embraces, Samantha Morton - The Messenger, Imelda Staunton - Taking Woodstock

Other Miscellaneous Awards (Or Lack Thereof):
Worst Film of the Year: Going through the list of films I watched from 2009, I found very few candidates for such a prestigious honor and I'm beginning to now think that I really must have just shut it down in 2009. I clearly wasn't on point and bringing my A game, so I apologize retroactively for how I digested that year's crop of films. Unacceptable. BUTTTTT...the good news is I still was able to sift through all the stuff I found to be acceptable or even GOOD and stumbled upon this little gem. It made a lot of money and even got nominated *shudder* for awards. I'm speaking of course about the John Lee Hancock-directed masterpiece, The Blind Side. Let's just throw away the notion that I can't stand these heartfelt sports-based movies for the most part, let's just forget we know that fact. Then all you're left with is a movie that is cheesy and maudlin and thoroughly unbelievable and atrocious in every regard. I mean, Michael Oher, the guy who this movie is all about, doesn't even endorse the film. Of course, if someone made a film that made me appear completely inept in almost every conceivable fashion including being borderline retarded, I probably would disown it too. The fact that this gobbled up tons of cash at the box office and has been well represented during awards season is all the evidence you need to understand what state our nation is in.

Most Underrated/Underappreciated Film of the Year:
It's always nice to get pleasant surprises from the comedy genre seeing as how it's such barren wasteland full of disappointments and unfulfilled potential. I really enjoyed the dark, but hilarious humor courtesy of Observe and Report and World's Greatest Dad. Gentlemen Broncos got lambasted by critics, but I found that this film had echos of Napoleon Dynamite (which I happen to consider a good thing) and breezed by with frequent laughs. All three of these were pretty much overlooked and disregarded, but for me, they like movie rental ninjas...popping up out of nowhere to give me a lovely evening unexpectedly. I went on a big Steven Soderbergh kick that year and found The Girlfriend Experience to be compelling and moving in its own strange way. However, the number one most underrated/underappreciated film of the year I saw was John Woo's sprawling war epic, Red Cliff. Although the action/narrative momentum slows down in the second half (the only thing that kept me from giving this the year's only 4 star rating), Red Cliff is by and large a hugely entertaining piece of Chinese filmmaking. Epic, dramatic, compelling...I'm amazed this film did not catch on. I'll just assume it's because most Americans are cultural elitists who are subtitle-phobic. Yeah, that sounds about right.

The Proof That Seeing Something Twice Is Sometimes Necessary Award:
Inglourious Basterds. I'm not a Quentin Tarantino apologist or superfan, but I was pretty psyched for this one. The first time through, I thought it to be an ambitious, but unfortunately tedious slog of a movie. I thought it had individual moments/performances that were excellent (i.e. the opening scene and Christopher Waltz), but had wayyyyy too many dead spots and pointless character interactions (kinda like 75% of Death Proof). I decided to give it a second try because too many I respect found it to be one of the best of the year and I felt like it had the elements to succeed, it just never came together. The next time around, I found everything to be much more intense and some of what I had previously thought to be "pointless" now felt a lot more organic. I guess I was just in a stupid mood the first time.

The I'll Keep Seeing Your Stupid Movie Franchise Because I Can't Help Myself And I'm Not Proud Of It Award:
Fast and Furious.

Movie Quote Of The Year You Won't See Appearing On Good Morning America:
"I performed fellatio her." - Mike Tyson in James Toback's documentary Tyson

The Most Awesome Sam Raimi Scene That Only Sam Raimi Could Do Of The Year Award:
The gypsy fight in the car in Drag Me To Hell.

The I'm Not Embarrassed To Admit That I Got Legitimately Scared For A Good 20 Seconds Award:
Paranormal Activity.

The I Dare You Not To Get At Least A Little Choked Up Or You're A Soulless Heathen Scene Award:
The prologue to Pixar's Up. Good lord, I can't watch.

Most Disappointing Film(s) "Award":
Public Enemies and Extract. Neither were "awful" per se, but I expected much more than what I got considering the pedigree/subject matter involved.

The Embracing This Nerd Shit Has Gone Too Far Award:
Paper Heart.

The Most Fun At The Movies All Year (Star Trek notwithstanding, of course) Award:
Zombieland. (also winner of the Best Celebrity Cameo Award, but I can't have a single film win twice...that would violate the rules)

The "That's How You Do A Fuckin' Sports Movie" Award:
The Damned United.

The Most Cartoonishly Evil Character Ever Award:
Mo'Nique in Precious.

The I Just Love This Scene So I Want An Excuse To Post It Award:

The Most Disturbing/Disgusting Scene Of The Year Award:
The genital mutilation scene in Lars Von Trier's Antichrist. It's not even fucking close. Just be glad I didn't post THAT scene. It is the holidays after all, Merry Christmas!

Oscars 2011 Live Bloggin'

2011-02-27T18:34:00.015-06:00

Gonna go ahead and get this live entry up and running. I can't believe this is my 7th year of doing this, so what does that mean? It means I'm an expert so don't question me or as Kenny Powers likes to say, "You're fuckin out! I'm fuckin in!" Also, keep in mind this is the Academy Awards. It's a bunch of rich, beautiful, obnoxiously self-important people suckin' each other off and giving out handies to whoever is within striking distance. Everyone knows this. So no need to bitch and moan about how it's all politicking and self-congratulatory bullshit and that it's not a true measure of cinematic artistry/quality, blah blah blah, no one cares. That is all a given, so save the contrived, recycled bullshit for someone who hasn't ever heard of movies or the Oscars. I do this b/c I love film and for better or worse, this is the night that celebrates American film, so since this is the 83rd edition and it's the most watched TV program in the entire world, something tells me it isn't going anywhere anytime soon, might as well soak it all in. With all that being said, let's get ready for a delightful evening of The King's Speech bashing.

7:02pm CST:

I'm not sure how much "acting" Natalie Portman does as she constantly looks like she's about to burst into tears anyway.

The James Franco/Anne Hathaway hosting combo is a curious choice. Franco is talented and can be very funny, I'm not really worried about him. Anna Hathaway is also talented and has a sweet sack of boobies on her, but I wonder about her comedic chops, guess we'll find out. Of course, anything is better than having to watch Wolverine prance around on stage all night randomly bursting into song or having Whoopi Goldberg host (no commentary needed on that). Then again, I'd be content having Steve Martin, Billy Crystal, or Jon Stewart host every year, how old white man of me.

By the way, per my Oscar tradition, the Louis Gossett, Jr. watch is officially under way. I need my Gossett fix, do not let me down Oscar!

As the countdown continues, I gotta say I'm genuinely worried about my Best Supporting Actor pick. I still think it's gonna be Bale, but I have this weird feeling that Rush is gonna sneak in and steal it. I'd be more worried if Rush had never won before, but he already nabbed Best Actor in '96, so he's not some old guy sentimental favorite that the Academy feels must pay him their due. He's a very good actor, but Bale deserves it here. Hell, he deserved it in 2001 for American Psycho, but wasn't even nominated. Yeah, fuck you Academy.

7:25pm CST:

Hey there's Halle Berry. She's pretty hot when she's not sobbing like a brat and having a seizure onstage for winning an award she didn't deserve. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

I'm a sucker for movie clip montages, I ain't gonna lie. By the way, just so everyone can stop all the arguing and fussing and fighting, The Social Network is the best film of the year. There, it's settled.

That opening skit was weak. They did include a Back to the Future nod though and I'm not adverse to that. I'm not made of steel ya know.

No way James Franco is not stoned as fuck right now.

Holy lord, Jennifer Lawrence is hot when she's not hanging out in backwoods Arkansas fighting meth dealers and cutting hands off of dead corpses found in lakes.

It's pretty sad that I can guess a movie based on the year alone. When they said "a classic from 1939", I immediately knew it was Gone with the Wind. Wait, that's not sad, that's just proof that I'm a movie machine.

Haha, Tom Hanks just called Titanic a "best picture classic". Good one, Tom.

Art Direction, nailed it. I'm 1 for 1 so far. Alice in Wonderland is a pile of dog poop, but it's hard to argue with its technical merits. That's about all Tim Burton is good for anyway.

Ok now Cinematography. Damn, Roger Deakins gets screwed again. 1 for 2 now.

7:50pm CST:

Somehow, some way, the Oscars seem even MORE epically self-important tonight. It's like their work facilitated the end of apartheid. I love movies too, but geez.

At the rate Kirk Douglas is speaking, we'll be done sometime tomorrow afternoon. He's also speaking like the midget from Twin Peaks in Special Agent Cooper's dream. Twin Peaks reference tonight, check that right the fuck off the list!

Hey, Best Supporting Actress is back to being one of the first awards handed out. Woohoo, know your place, ladies. I actually like all of these nominees, but Jacki Weaver is spellbinding. If you haven't seen Animal Kingdom (and you probably haven't), check it out for her performance if nothing else. Melissa Leo is frighteningly disgusting in The Fighter, good job. Oh shutup old man, get on with the award! Ok this is pretty funny, I'm not gonna lie. You won me over, Kirk, you still got it Spartacus. Alright back on track, 2 for 3 now as Leo takes it. I think Kirk Douglas just wants to hang out onstage all night.

Actually, now that I think about it, it might be good for me in the long run that Inception won for cinematography because I'm banking on it taking a slew of tech awards and that could be a good indication of things to come.

I don't find Justin Timberlake as irritating as I used to, but people who claim he's oh so hilarious are fucking retarded. Not funny at all.

Ugh, time for the shorts. What to do with all this free time I now have?

8:09pm CST:

Toy Story 3 winning Animated Feature was a lock, now 3 for 4. Well deserved, but I loved how the recipient thanked everyone for coming out to "support a movie with talking toys". Uhh...yeah, thanks for all the grass roots support for our little billion dollar cash printing machine known as the Toy Story franchise. Couldn't have done it without you!

Ok raise your hand if every time you see a black and white photo of some 1920s Hollywood tuxedo ballroom party, you think of The Shining? Yeah, me too.

Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem chose those tuxes because the ones from Dumb and Dumber were already out on loan.

Aaron Sorkin takes it down for The Social Network, now 4 for 5. Obviously, well deserved, great script, great movie. Listen to that music swell and Sorkin doesn't back down, that's a fuckin man for ya.

Both screenplay awards this early? Interesting. Aside from the Leo-Douglas fiasco, the awards do seem to be coming out relatively quickly, for the Academy anyway.

The King's Speech takes Original Screenplay, now 5 for 6. As if we didn't know it already, but it's now confirmed, this show is all about The Social Network vs. The King's Speech. This dude and Kirk Douglas should have an old-off.

8:24pm CST:

Does anyone else think Anne Hathaway needs to calm down? She needs to hit up Franco for that bud he surely has in his back pocket.

I like Russell Brand and Helen Mirren is still the hottest 137 year old this planet has ever seen. Ok, Foreign Language film is always tough to call because it's a unique category in that anyone who votes must have seen all five nominees, plus most of the voters are older so they generally go with safer, feel good movies. And hey, look at that, I win again. Now, 6 for 7.

Now for Best Supporting Actor. I was worried at the outset about this category, so let's do this like a band-aid and get it out of the way. By the way, I'm glad the Academy is back to showing actual clips of performances for the nominees instead of that one rogue year where instead of clips, they just had past winners verbally sucking off each nominee. Part of the fun of watching award contenders is trying to guess what their "Oscar clip" will be. Woohoo, my fears have been allayed as Bale most deservingly takes it. 7 for 8, now. Bale is the frontrunner for best speech so far.

There can't possibly be a single person on this planet who cares about this Academy-ABC relationship bullshit, there's just no way.

Trent Reznor takes Best Original Score, now 8 for 9. Well deserved, his score help set the tone and mood for The Social Network perfectly. I also enjoyed Hans Zimmer's bombastic, epic score for Inception. If you're keeping score at home Trent Reznor and Three Six Mafia now have Academy Awards and Alfred Hitchcock never won one.

And the techie award love for Inception rolls on. It's the least they could do for not nominating Nolan for director. 9 for 10 now.

I think they should make a rule where you're not allowed to thank anyone during acceptance speeches. You can thank them in person, no one else cares. But then I wonder what they'd talk about. Inevitably, you'd get someone up there who was just blindsided and had nothing profound to say, he'd just be like "So, how about them Lakers?".

I like when films like Unstoppable or The Wolfman are nominated for some singularly random weird tech category b/c then they can claim their film was "Oscar-nominated". And hey, look at that, Inception again, this time for Sound Editing, 10 for 11 now. Who wants to pick up my bar tab when I go out tonight?

8:54pm CST:

Of course, it's Rick Baker, he's the Michael Jordan of Best Makeup. 11 for 12 now.

Alright and as I noted in last night's blog entry, the Costume Design category is very interesting this year. Let's see how I did: hell yeah, I'm on fire tonight. Colleen Atwood takes it for Alice in Wonderland, 12 for 13 now. The thing with Costume Design is that it rarely coincides with whoever is the frontrunner(s). The general rule of thumb I've found in recent years is that if it's an elaborate period piece, bet on that. Even if you've never heard of the film, always go with the one that's set in 18th century, preferably in some sort of royalty setting. Now, one might argue that The King's Speech fit this bill for this year, but TKS was much more subdued and didn't have the flashy, overblown costumes usually associated with films of its ilk. Then you look at what Alice in Wonderland brought to the table and that's why I went with it. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how winning is done.

Aw shit, I thought we were gonna escape individual song performances this year. Oscar, you've done it again!

Is it just me or does James Franco seem like he'd rather be cutting his arm off with a box cutter than hosting the Oscars? Also, Jake Gyllenhaal always looks so sad, it's gonna be ok, Jake. By the way, Natalie Portman wants to meet up with you afterward so you can listen to Snow Patrol albums together and have a sad-off.

Checking out all the twitter posts, people are bored by the Oscars due in part to categories they don't care about and/or know nothing about. Uh, have you ever watched the Oscars?

Alright Luke Matheny, now get back to band practice, At the Drive In is waiting on you.

I wonder if the Auto-Tune The News Guys get any royalties from the Academy "borrowing" their idea. Antoine Dodson still owns you all.

Great shot of the Coen brothers, they hate all of this and I love them for it. Best Documentary, this is a tough call. I picked Exit Through the Gift Shop, but have a feeling Inside Job is going to take it. Damn it all. It was a coin flip and I picked the wrong one. 12 for 14 now. I really should have picked Inside Job as a very relevant topic and the Academy likes to show nothing if they're not important and matter in a real world way.

9:26pm CST:

And there's my man, Billy Crystal, love that guy. I wonder who has more makeup, him or Anne Hathaway?

Ok that callback to the first Academy Award telecast was pointless and unentertaining.

And Inception takes Visual Effects, back on track now, 13 for 15. That'd be weird/funny/sad/odd/whatever if Inception ends up winning the most awards for the evening despite getting no love in most major categories. Oh, sweet irony, Academy!

And now The Social Network takes Editing, 14 for 16 now. While I didn't expect The King's Speech to win anything it hasn't already (as evidenced by my predictions), it's still a little curious that it's not exhibiting ANY of the momentum it was thought to have coming in. Now, that doesn't mean shit really, but usually when you have a favorite, you'll have some indications of coattailing, so maybe this means TKS isn't as beloved as originally thought or there were several films the Academy loved so the wealth is being spread (probably the more likely reason). If someone were to look at the tallies alone so far, you'd think The Social Network and Inception were the two films of the year. Which makes sense because they are.

I was a tad worried that A.R. Rahman would go Jai-Ho on everyone for not winning Best Original Song, but he kept it together. Old man Newman takes it and I'm 15 for 17 now. And now we have the big four left to go, no doubt delayed by a bunch of needless bullshit until then, mind you.

9:53pm CST:

Sally Menke died? That sucks. Patricia Neal was strangely hot in Hud. Arthur Penn, solid director. Dennis Hopper, may you find all the insane psychedelics your heart desires in the afterlife. Gotta love the "In Memoriam" segments.

And like I said, a pretty much worthless segment with no awards handed out. I guess they realized they could stretch this out for another hour and a half. That being said, for all the unnecessary bullshit they like to trot out, I'm not opposed to montages, I dig those in a sick, sick way. So I'll set the over-under on awards handed out in this next segments at 1.5. What you got? I'll say under.

Ok I'm nervous about Best Director. I picked Fincher and he fucking deserves it of course (hell he's deserved it a couple of times in the past for films he wasn't even nominated for). I might do a back flip if Fincher wins. Motherfucking fuck fuck fuckkkkkkkk. This is such garbage and virtually locks up The King's Speech as the Best Picture winner, if it wasn't assured before. What a crock of horseshit. This isn't even Tom Hooper's best film. His last film, The Damned United, was far superior to TKS. Fuck this. 15 for 18.

At least I was write about something, only one award handed out that segment, yay.

10:11pm CST:

One good thing about tonight is that we get Jeff Bridges presenting. I'm pretty sure I could watch that guy play chess and be entertained, fucking fantastic actor. Looking at the nominees for Best Actress, Annette Bening was very good and she usually is, but I think Julianne Moore gave the better performance in The Kids Are All Right. I haven't seen Rabbit Hole so I haven't seen Nicole Kidman's performance, but I do plan on having a doubleheader of misery between that and Blue Valentine sometime soon. Jennifer Lawrence is great in The Winter's Bone, which is a film I'm glad is getting the recognition it has from the Academy, even if it doesn't win anything. And of course, Natalie Portman was great and deserves the Oscar she's about to get. 16 for 19. I wonder if Portman will look 12 forever?

Look, I get that an Oscar signifies the ultimate reward for the "work" you do, but why do people cry? Accept it with grace and poise. Of course, the biggest disgrace was Halle Berry when she won for Monster's Ball, you would have thought she just cured cancer and resurrected all of her loved ones who have passed away, fucking get a grip, you're an adult.

Now for Best Actor. Love me some Javier Bardem, haven't seen Biutiful yet, but it's by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu so you know it'll be a nice big pile of misery that makes you want to shoot yourself in the face when it's over. Jeff Bridges was fucking hilarious in True Grit and is on a roll for the ages lately. He won't win, but the recognition he's finally getting is truly awesome. Now, Jesse Eisenberg, he deserves this award, but he won't get it and I'm angry, no more about that. Colin Firth, I hate talking bad about him because in this case, he's simply guilty by association. It is worth noting that he was mesmerizing in last year's A Single Man so if this award were being handed out in a vacuum and it wasn't associated with TKS, I wouldn't mind. Oh and James Franco was great in the very good, underrated 127 Hours. I love that he was nominated because he carried that film. And so as the sun sets in the west, Colin Firth wins. 17 for 20.

British people winning awards suck because they stay away from charisma as if it were AIDS.

10:36pm CST:

And the big "duh" moment of the evening has happened. Final tally of 18 for 21, yet it feels so empty *sob*

To quote a very spot on "tweet" from one of my favorite TV writers, Alan Sepinwall: "Nice job, Spielberg, pointing out how often we remember the runners-up better than the winner. As we will this year." Amen, Alan.

Final Thoughts:

Very "meh" telecast. Nothing exciting or unexpected for the most part, the hosts were boring and unfunny and nary a montage to be found! I guess on the plus side, this may be the shortest Oscar telecast in recent memory "only" running just over 3 hours whereas they generally average something like 3 and a half hours at least. I also finished 18 for 21, which may be a personal best, but I'd have to double check, I wanna say it ties a personal best, but I'm not sure. To the archives!

2011 Oscar Predictions

2011-02-26T20:07:00.002-06:00

Alright kids, it's Oscar Eve and normally, I do the predictions the day of, but I don't expect my mind to change much between now and tomorrow night, so let's just get it out of the way. Interesting year as some of the major categories are fore drawn conclusions while the others have potential upset written all over them. In the minor categories, I've found that a lot of categories have two legitimate candidates to win and it could go either way, so I have this feeling that I'm either going to annihilate everyone's faces tomorrow or be dreadfully wrong and I'll end up drowning my sorrows in a bottle of Bacardi Limon. Who am I kidding, I'll probably do the latter regardless. Ok so for the top 8 major categories (Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress, Original Screenplay, Adapted Screenplay), I'll offer a prediction of who I think will win and who I think should win (out of who was nominated, not overall). Let's get on with it:

Best Picture
Who Will Win: The King's Speech
Who Should Win: The Social Network

- This is all about timing. TSN is the most acclaimed film of the year and has cleaned up with the critics and plenty of pre-cursors, but by the time its momentum was slowing, TKS' was just picking up. It annoys me that TKS is going to win as its typical, generic, feel-good formula gunk you've seen a thousand times before (and done better too), but this is no time to get into that. I'm sure I might mention it a time or two tomorrow night.

Best Director
Who Will Win: David Fincher - The Social Network
Who Should Win: David Fincher - The Social Network

- I'm not 100% confident on this, but I have a feeling that David Fincher is playing the Ang Lee circa 2006 role here where Lee won director for Brokeback Mountain beating out hack, Paul Haggis, whose piece of garbage, Crash, took home Best Picture that year. It wouldn't shock me to see Tom Hooper take it while riding the King's Speech wave. If Fincher does win, it'll be well-deserved, he's long been one of this country's best filmmakers and arguably our most relevant as he seems to be the king of making zeitgeist movies.

Best Actor
Who Will Win: Colin Firth - The King's Speech
Who Should Win: Jesse Eisenberg - The Social Network

- Book it and if I'm wrong, I'll let you pay me $100. It doesn't bother me b/c Firth is an excellent actor who continually turns in great work. He's very good here, but I think Eisenberg's complex, hypnotic work as Mark Zuckerberg in TSN was off the charts. If I talk shit about Firth tomorrow night, it'll be a reflection of my general disdain for TKS, so I apologize ahead of time, Colin.

Best Actress
Who Will Win: Natalie Portman - Black Swan
Who Should Win: Natalie Portman - Black Swan

- Not as big a lock as Firth, but Portman has been the frontrunner all along and I see no reason for that to stop tomorrow night. She's deserving as she really bares it all in Black Swan and is by far the best thing about a film that is basically Aronofsky doing more Aronofskying. Now, it is worth noting that this is Annette Bening's 4th nomination and the long respected actress has never won. Do with that information what you will.

Best Supporting Actor
Who Will Win: Christian Bale - The Fighter
Who Should Win: Christian Bale - The Fighter

- I love this category this year. It's full of great actors being rightfully recognized for their tremendous work this year. I mean, how cool is it that you have John Hawkes, Mark Ruffalo, and Jeremy Renner all being nominated for the same category? Good job, Academy. Of course, Bale is the king as he gives an indelibly fantastic performance in The Fighter. Like Portman, he has been the frontrunner all along, so I'm predicting a win tomorrow night, but I have this gross feeling that Geoffrey Rush will come riding in at the last minute on a wave of King's Speechness to steal it from Bale's clutches. Oscar generally goes by the book, but they will toss in a curveball or two in the major categories like they do every year, so buyer beware.

Best Supporting Actress
Who Will Win: Melissa Leo - The Fighter
Who Should Win: Jacki Weaver - Animal Kingdom

- I'm going with Leo here as the respected veteran should overcome any issues with vote-splitting as Amy Adams is nominated in the same category for the same movie. I think the Academy will rally behind Leo similar to the way they did for Soderbergh in 2001 when he was nominated for Best Director for two different films. I'm slightly worried that Hailee Steinfeld could pull an upset for her work in True Grit b/c if there's one category in which Oscar likes to reward the young ingenue type, it's Best Supporting Actress. All worthy nominees here, but Weaver's chilling, haunting work in Animal Kingdom added a whole other layer to that film, she's the best of the bunch here, but unfortunately doesn't have a prayer.

Best Original Screenplay
Who Will Win: The King's Speech
Who Should Win: Inception

- It worked out nicely for Oscar as the two Best Pic frontrunners (The King's Speech and The Social Network) are nominated for screenplay awards in two different categories, so not only do they not have to face off, they each get to own their respective categories. It's ridiculous that one of the year's most original, ambitious, fascinating films (Inception) got basically pity nominations up and down the Oscars, but whatever. In 20 years, when The King's Speech will be a footnote, Inception will still be talked about for being the innovative, interesting piece of cinema that it is.

Best Adapted Screenplay
Who Will Win: The Social Network
Who Should Win: The Social Network

- Aaron Sorkin is largely credited with the success of TSN and rightfully so. This is one of the safer plays of the night.

Best Animated Feature: Toy Story 3
Best Original Score: The Social Network
Best Original Song: Toy Story 3
Best Editing: The Social Network
Best Cinematography: True Grit
Best Art Direction: Alice in Wonderland
Best Costume Design: Alice in Wonderland - Quick note about this: like I said last year, Costume Design is shooting up my power rankings as one of my favorite categories b/c it's difficult to predict and generally rewards the merits of the work and is generally not guilty of coattailing (which would especially be true if AiW wins, I mean who the hell likes that movie?). Also, this is a pretty epic showdown between Jenny Beavan (nominated here for The King's Speech) who has now been nominated 9 times (won just once) and Colleen Atwood (nominated here for Alice in Wonderland) who has also now been nominated 9 times (won twice), but is like the Albert Pujols of Costume Design as she has been nominated nearly every year of the last decade. Should be the showdown of the century!
Best Makeup: The Wolfman - If you ever bet against Rick Baker, you're an idiot (12 nominations, 6 wins).
Best Sound Mixing: Inception
Best Sound Editing: Inception
Best Visual Effects: Inception
Best Foreign Film: In a Better World
Best Documentary Feature: Exit Through the Gift Shop

- Ok so I'm predicting The Social Network to score the highest with 4 wins and The King's Speech to nab 3 wins. I'm also counting on Inception to perform like The Matrix in 2000 and get a slew of tech categories, otherwise I'm screwed. See you kids on the morrow.

I Don't Hate to Say I Told You So

2011-01-25T11:28:00.004-06:00

So I trust you all cleaned up in Vegas by adhering to my Best Pic nomination predictions in the previous blog entry. If you didn't, well you should know better than to doubt me by now. And to think, I came this close to taking out Winter's Bone and replacing it with The Town, but decided not to because I had a feeling that if I did it, I'd fuck it all up. So the moral of the story is never, ever change your mind about anything because you will be wrong and will live out the rest of your days in painful regret. Anyway, here are a few thoughts regarding the nominations:

- A hell yeah for John Hawkes getting nominated for his work in Winter's Bone. Not only is he deserving, but it's nice to see the Academy recognize something for the quality of the work, not because it's a big name or part of a blockbuster. That little fella sure has come a long way since being set on fire by George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino at the beginning of From Dusk 'Til Dawn.

- 12 nominations for The King's Speech and 8 for The Social Network. I've said for a month or two now that I think it would be a two horse race for Best Picture and the nominations did nothing to change that perception. However, I was leaning SCN as far as the slight favorite, but now it's pretty undeniable that TKS is the frontrunner, especially since SCN is already on DVD while TKS is just now hitting its stride in its theatrical run. Also, it's probably not a big deal to make too much of the nomination count since TKS is the kind of film that racks up nominations due its technical merits and since Hollywood considers anything set pre-1990 to be a "period piece", it's more of a technicality that it has significantly more nominations than SCN than it is an indicator that it's a lock for Best Picture. SCN is the most well reviewed film of the year, so it still has a solid shot.

- Nice to see James Franco get a Best Actor nomination for his excellent work in 127 Hours, but go ahead and bet your life that it's going to be Colin Firth for The King's Speech who wins.

- Natalie Portman has definitely been the most talked about performer this year for her turn in Black Swan, but I'm still very curious to see if that mean she definitely walks away with the big prize or if there's some Annette Bening love from an older-skewing Academy voting populace. I still think it'll be Portman, but Bening wouldn't shock me either.

- Nice to see Jeremy Renner get a Best Supporting Actor nod for The Town. No one plays unhinged, borderline psychopath like Renner. Well, maybe Dennis Hopper (RIP).

- Best Supporting Actress is going to be a very tough call. My early lean is Hailee Steinfeld for True Grit with the logic being that Melissa Leo and Amy Adams will split the vote for their work in The Fighter, but if one of them takes it, bet the house on Leo. Other than that, I think all the acting categories are pretty much foregone conclusions. We'll see how and if that changes over the next month as all the Oscar marketing campaigns launch into full time dick suckin' mode.

- The Best Directing category sure is a who's who of Mr. Cool Guy directors (Aronofsky, David O. Russell, the Coen bros, David Fincher)...well except for that Tom Hooper guy. He went to Oxford, how cool can he really be?

- In the Screenplay categories, The King's Speech is nominated for Best Original Screenplay and The Social Network for Best Adapted Screenplay, so they don't actually go up against each other (clever girl, Oscar). I wonder who's going to win these categories?!

- Poor Christopher Nolan, he must have date raped the head of the Academy's daughter or something because this guy can't ever get any love. He directs some of the most well reviewed, entertaining, interesting films that are huge successes, but can't ever get even a cursory director nomination. Sure, they'll toss him a screenplay nom as if to say, "Here's a treat ol' boy", but he has no shot and we all know it. And to think, Ron Howard can film himself clipping his toenails and get a Best Director nomination, utter bullshit.

- So there you have it. I'll go ahead and say that my sincerest hope is that Lily Tomlin shows up only to rile up David O. Russell. Then Sean Penn tries to be noble and step in so they get into it, while Christian Bale stands on the sidelines going "Ohhhh good for youuuu!" For those who don't understand the Tomlin-Russell connection, see below. Enjoy.

It's Never Too Early...

2010-12-22T11:41:00.003-06:00

I just wanted to go ahead and get this on record so that we'll have documented evidence of my prognosticating prowess. Oscar nominations won't be announced until January 25th, but why wait? I'm gonna go ahead and tell you who I think the ten Best Picture nominees will be. Consider it an early Christmas present/tantalizing teaser of what's to come as we hit the home stretch of the 2010 movie season and gear up for the Oscars. I wasn't able to do my usual live commentary last year so I plan to make up for it this year by unleashing my Oscar fury with the force of 10,000 suns. I shan't be denied! Anyway, here ya go. Oh and by the way, my cut is 10% for your office Oscar pools.

The Social Network
Inception
The King's Speech
127 Hours
Toy Story 3
Winter's Bone
The Fighter
True Grit
Black Swan
The Kids Are All Right

BAM.

Oh Dexter, I wish I knew how to quit you

2010-11-09T16:27:00.003-06:00

So, I'm in the midst of episode 6 of the latest season of Dexter and as I roll my eyes about yet another worthless subplot involving the even more worthless supporting characters or the narrative voiceover that is the complete and utter opposite of subtle, I still found that I was really into the show itself. It got me thinking...when this show is gone, I'm really going to miss it. For all the litany of reasons I could rattle off as far as what the show does poorly, what keeps me coming back? Why, despite all of its flaws, do I love this? I decided to make a Pros and Cons list to try and sort it out. At some point, the Cons may take over, but let's go into this with a positive mindset.

Pro: Michael C. Hall. That's an easy one. I can't say he is definitely the best actor working in dramatic television (he's up there for sure), but is there anyone more valuable to the quality of their show? I'm consistently convinced from season to season that Michael C. Hall single-handedly elevates this show to another level. Without him, Dexter would struggle just to attain mediocrity.

Con: Every other supporting character. I don't know of a show on television that has a more poorly written and poorly acted ensemble than Dexter. Not a single subplot is interesting and only serves to take time away from what we want to watch anyway and that is of course, Dexter himself. Do you care about Deb's love life? Angel and LaGuerta's marriage? This is banal crap culled directly from soap operas. Making matters worse, they kill off any interesting (or least, tolerable) supporting characters they've ever had. The main guest stars notwithstanding (ice truck killer, Lila, Miguel, Trinity), people like Doakes and Lundy were at least fun and added another element to the show. So they get killed, but we're stuck with Quinn? Gee, thanks guys.

Pro: Suspenseful, engaging narrative. I will never toss many accolades Dexter's way when it comes to the art of writing, but goddamn, they know how to keep you on the edge of your seat and keep you engaged. Even in scenarios where for instance, Dexter is at a crime scene before the police arrive and he has a body in his car, you see Deb and Masuka rounding the corner as Dexter tries to stay out of sight. Obviously, if you have half a brain, it's not as if this scenario is going to end with all of Miami P.D. including Deb catching Dexter red-handed chopping up a body, BUT the way the show is written and the way they wring suspense out of these scenarios makes the tension run high and is very effective, especially for something that is a blatant red herring and offensive to the audience's intelligence. That's a minor example, but the show on the whole does a terrific job of making the main narrative each season compelling, even if we generally know how it's going to end.

Con: Voiceover. While it's difficult to picture Dexter without Michael C. Hall's monotone/sometimes sardonic voiceover narration, that doesn't mean it's a not major writing crutch and one of the more egregious examples of how the writers/show-runners behind Dexter really don't think much of its audience's intelligence. If part of the point of any sort of filmic art is to "show, don't tell" as much as possible, the voiceover in Dexter is especially offensive as its sole purpose seems to be captain fucking obvious and make ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY SURE that you know what the fuck is happening right here!!!

Pro: The music. Maybe I'm starting to reach a little here, but one of the things that occurred to me when I thought of how I really would miss Dexter once it's gone is that I really like the musical cues in the show. They're one of the few more subtle elements of the show and the directors have used them to good effect throughout the show's run. Generally, aesthetic elements are the things you first think of when looking back on a show and I think the music is Dexter's strongest aesthetic representative.

Con: No balls. Killing Rita at the end of season 4 was bold, but midway through season 5 now, I see it less as a game-changer than just an excuse to have a "shocking" ending for the sake of shock value and also to get rid of a character who had become increasingly annoying over the years (although I'm sure January Jones was psyched when it happened as she could finally take her rightful place at the throne of "most loathesome wife on television"). The fact that the death of Rita didn't really alter anything drastically from a functionality standpoint is no surprise. My biggest disappointment with Dexter as a whole is that it started out as a show that actually asked interesting questions about morality and was a fascinating character study, but has gradually morphed into a gussied-up police procedural where all kinds of intense, exciting things may happen within a season, but rest assured, the big baddie will die at the hands of Dexter, he won't get caught, and everything will work out okay. It never lived up to its potential (as I saw it anyway) and it pisses me off. It still has a great lead and from a purely visceral standpoint, it's as entertaining as anything on television, but I can't help but wonder how it would have turned out if it had a main creative force behind it (instead of a team of hack tv writers, not to mention Showtime producers) guiding it with a singular vision and if it was on HBO (or AMC).

At the end of the day, Dexter is like that hot, dumb girlfriend you can't break up with because even though she has a brain the size of a walnut, she still looks awesome in tank tops and likes to make you sandwiches, so there's something to be said for that.

And now...TV Power Rankings (and these are not permanent overall rankings, to understand the elaborate Power Ranking algorithm, just go back a few entries where I break it down) just for grins!

12) Bored to Death
11) Community
10) It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
9) Dexter
8) Modern Family
7) Sons of Anarchy
6) The Office
5) Boardwalk Empire
4) 30 Rock
3) The League
2) The Walking Dead
1) Eastbound and Down

Fuck Everybody

2010-08-11T03:36:00.004-05:00

Yeah, this about sums it up.

Potpourri

2010-06-20T21:41:00.005-05:00

A hodgepodge of observations and random thoughts on...whatever:

- Well, 2 episodes in and True Blood is back in all its brain-deaded glory. If you ever worried that it couldn't live up to the lofty artistic heights established by the first 2 seasons, well fear not! The dialogue is still laughably horrible, Stephen Moyer still gives some of the most inept/awkward line readings in the history of the medium, there are plot threads aplenty that are wholly purposeless, and on and on and on. But at least there are still boobies. And I still can't believe there was a character named "Eggs" last season, good lawd. One thing I do like about the show aside from the aforementioned boobies is that they've fully committed to making Jason Stackhouse a complete and utter moron, it's the most inspired creative decision the writers have ever made. It's not that it's the worst show ever made, but the fact that this is HBO's biggest moneymaker since The Sopranos just depresses the shit outta me and I realize that without crap like True Blood raking in the dough, epics like The Pacific would probably have a much tougher time getting made, so maybe it's a necessary evil. Making matters worse is I watch the damn thing b/c A) I started watching it from the beginning and I guess I'm some kind of masochistic completist and B) There isn't anything else on. Breaking Bad ended last week and Treme ends tonight so that leaves this and Tosh.0. Another maddening HBO show that needs to be put out of its misery comes back next week in Entourage, so I'll be all over that too (summer is the time to slum it!). Then our knight in shining armor comes riding in on a translucent steed in the form of Rescue Me on June 29th, thank christ.

- Speaking of Treme, I started off really digging the show and not even minding the fact that there was no central driving narrative, I just enjoyed hanging out with the characters and getting a feel for their struggle to rebuild their lives after Katrina. After 9 very long episodes, I realize I'm kinda over that. It's not a bad show by any means, but I'm starting to think it may have made a better mini-series than ongoing TV show. I just don't know how the show's m.o. can be sustained without boring its viewers to tears. And another thing, can we chill out on the sanctimonious New Orleans fellatio? It wouldn't kill the writers to have an entire episode go by without having Creighton or Davis say something incredibly reverential about New Orleans like it's the lost city of gold. New Orleans is a cool city and it's beyond a travesty what they've been through, but let the show speak for itself, no need to constantly remind us that you love New Orleans, I think we can figure that out. And if I see one more old white guy standing in front of a horn player swaying back and forth while biting his lower lip, I think I'm gonna rip my eyes out of their sockets.

- I don't feel it's premature to label Breaking Bad's third season as one of the finest in the history of television. For a show that I thought had hit its apex in season 2, the fact that it continues to get better and better is astounding to me. This show is history in the making, hyperbole be damned. I was listening to a discussion at The Onion's AV Club website about the finale and they brought up an interesting point about the writing process for the show that may be a key reason why the show is so unpredictable and intense, yet always logical and never insulting to the viewer's intelligence. Season 2 was based around the flight crash and gave glimpses of it in the intros to several episodes throughout season 2, so the whole season has this sense of a complete story arc and that a plan was designed and followed accordingly (with brilliant results). For season 3, Vince Gilligan said that they didn't have a specific plan for the overall story of season 3 and would just wing it a lot of times. They would posit a scenario, discuss it, and then write it if it made sense and wasn't too obvious in terms of the audience's expectations. As a result, the season does end on a cliffhanger, but it still told a ridiculously compelling story that always subverted/surpassed expectations. When a show has a specific plan to follow, there can be a lot of wheel-spinning involved in the mid-season episodes because they know the destination, but can't get there until the final or penultimate episode whereas in a season where you're not working to get to one specific point in the story, you can do whatever you want. One of the many reasons that Breaking Bad is the best show on television.

- I think I've seen maybe two movies from the 2010 movie season and already have a contender for worst film of the year, The Wolfman. I normally don't waste my time on generic Hollywood crap that gets poor reviews, but for some bizarre reason, I was mildly curious about this one. That'll teach me to go outside my comfort zone. I routinely see over 100 films released in each year and generally don't have an epic list of shitty movies I had to sit through. The reason being I don't need to see some generic romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson or yet another animated film by anyone other than Pixar to know it won't be worth my time. If the reviews are particularly strong, I'll give it a chance, but that never happens. There's a formula and they stick to it. They have no reason to change b/c people keep shelling out money for it and I think people are happy with what they get, they want the predictable plots and unrealistic scenarios with a happy ending, it's very simple. Anyway, I won't be doing that again anytime soon. I'll stick with my Hungarian internal dramas about domestic strife thank you very much.

- Finally, I mentioned Rescue Me earlier and for the record, it has been my first summer project. Last Summer, I tackled The Wire and Weeds to try and move a step closer to complete and utter TV series domination. It was a pretty sweet deal watching the greatest series ever made in The Wire so while Rescue Me isn't nearly the coup that David Simon's masterpiece was, it's still been a worthy induction. Overall, it's a show that alternates between fantastic and pointless. What starts out as a brutally honest examination of what it means to be a "man", let alone a New York fire fighter, in the modern day world, can sometimes unfortunately devolve into a meandering mess (i.e. season 4). The saving graces of the show are Denis Leary's Tommy Gavin as an interesting character study, the refreshingly frank approach to a post-911 world, and the casual firehouse banter between all of the main characters. Could do without the Scrubs-like end of episode montages accompanied by music, the endless number of dangling plot threads without closure (not a dealbreaker, but my god, are the same people responsible for writing this show?), and the general misogyny as every woman seems to only be there to be batshit crazy and/or there to lust after Tommy with insatiable fervor. All that being said, it's still a very compelling show with terrific performances and very moving moments. It won't go down as one of the greats, but definitely will file under the "fascinating, but flawed" category. Despite its flaws, it's surely a notch above the average series and worth exploring. I'm glad I'm catching it before it's over.

Coming Soon: Best TV characters that are not "main characters" and the Top Ten of 2009. Followed by the top 10 (or maybe 20?) of the decade (super psyched for that one).

Think Again

2010-06-06T04:58:00.005-05:00

Fucking awesome promo from a damn good show. Just wanted to share.

May 2010 TV Power Rankings

2010-05-09T05:23:00.002-05:00

Just for grins, let's do some tv power rankings, yeah! Keep in mind, I'm only including shows I'm currently watching. I figured it was a good time to get some of these in under the wire as many of them are about to go off the air for the summer.

10) Justified - What started off as a strong pilot has quickly descended into crime of the week material. While well done, I'm not interested in watching a show that could very easily be renamed, U.S. Marshals: The Crazy Misadventures of Raylan Givens. Much better when it focuses on the serialized aspects of the show, but still may have to be dropped from the DVR come next season if it doesn't take some significant strides towards making me not view it as a parasite on my recorded list.

9) 30 Rock - Still good for some of the best one-liners on television, I'm beginning to wonder if the ascension of Parks and Recreation is a detriment to 30 Rock's effectiveness. It used to just be the hour-long block of The Office and 30 Rock, but now it's a full 2 hours and since Community has actually started being, ya know, FUNNY recently, I think I may just be worn out by the time 8:30 rolls around. I'm not a machine.

8) Community - While I still don't love how this show is basically a live action version of Family Guy with its barrage of pop culture references being passed off as humor, the Goodfellas homage was brilliant. The supporting characters still aren't funny enough, but I actually laughed quite a bit over the past 3 episodes, so maybe there's hope for you yet, kid.

7) The Office - Let's be fair to The Office. This hasn't been its most consistent season (whether we're talking storylines or humor), but while we bemoan how one of the greatest shows in the history of television is not reaching the bar, let's keep in mind that without The Office, there would be no bar. The last few episodes have been more vintage Office so let's end the season strong, regroup and come back next year back in the zone.

6) Modern Family - This has probably been tv's most consistent comedy over the past 7 months or so. Rare is the occasion that I watch an episode of Modern Family and walk away feeling unfulfilled. I've been very pleased/impressed with this show's first season as the writers already seem to have a very good grip on the characters and the humor they can derive from those characters. That's a rare thing for any show in its first season.

5) Treme - The latest show from that ever brilliant, irascible critic of the institution of "America", David Simon. Despite the lack of a central driving narrative, I've found myself quite engrossed in Treme. Of course it's well written and well-acted and while the themes are strong and apparent, there still isn't any sort of logical endpoint. Or maybe that's the idea. I'll have to see where this is all going, but so far, I'm really enjoying the ride. And hey David, the more Wire cameos you wanna throw in, I'm good with it.

4) Parks and Recreation - If we're looking for the new king of NBC Thursday nights, you're looking at it. I was worried after the first season, but this show has really found its footing. Excellent writing with a great cast and even slight hints of genuinely affecting human connections, reminds me of another NBC Thursday night juggernaut. Oh look, both shows written by the same people, NO WAY. Maybe that's what it is, the writers are using all their "A" material on Parks & Rec leaving The Office to sift through the scraps.

3) LOST - While this has been a season full of memorably fantastic episodes on par with anything LOST has ever done, it's almost impossible to properly grade this season without seeing where it ends up. I guess for now, all that matters is that we get compelling, edge of your seat television and that's exactly what we've gotten.

2) The Pacific - While it's not quite on par with Band of Brothers, The Pacific sure has been one deliriously hardcore abomination of the senses. While BoB seemed to focus more on the bond formed between soldiers to get through war, The Pacific definitely doesn't sugarcoat any aspect of war, opting instead to show every horrific scenario as well as the toll it takes on your soul. Not for the faint of heart, but worth it if you can handle it.

1) Breaking Bad - Who the fuck do you think you are BB? Are you trying to unseat Mad Men as my favorite show on television? Thought you were so cool with how great season 2 was and how it ended, but that just wasn't enough was it? This is the time, ladies and gentlemen, that we should just take the time to smell the roses and thank whatever divine being allowed us to be conscious while we witness the ongoing evolution of one of the best shows I've ever seen. I didn't think it could get much better than season 2, but I guess BB is in the business of showing me who's daddy.

2005 Redux

2010-03-16T23:41:00.004-05:00

A quick note about 2005. As I diligently studied the archives, I noticed that I've actually bothered to go back and revisit some of these films recently so it creates an interesting dichotomy. On one hand, there are the films that I've re-watched recently so I feel like I'm on pretty firm ground with how I view them and then there are ones that I haven't seen maybe even since I initially watched them, therefore in some ways this list represents a romanticized view of some films and a more pragmatic view of others. In part, that's why I'm doing these lists that revisit my initial rankings. In some bizarre way, I feel that quantifying the ephemeral and impulsive reactions of the first editions versus the more reflective, resilient impressions of the present along with my own growth as an individual and critic will somehow be enlightening. Or maybe I'm just bored.

2005 (Original List):

10) Grizzly Man
9) The New World
8) Walk the Line
7) Mysterious Skin
6) Match Point
5) Oldboy
4) 40 Year Old Virgin
3) Munich
2) 2046
1) Brokeback Mountain

Now here's my 2005 List if I were to write it today:

10) Good Night and Good Luck
9) Grizzly Man
8) Mysterious Skin
7) Munich
6) Match Point
5) 2046
4) 40 Year Old Virgin
3) Oldboy
2) Brokeback Mountain
1) Head-On

Observations:

- Not a whole lot of movement with the exception of a film previously not even on the list vaulting to number 1, but I'll get to that. Grizzly Man remains one of the more compelling documentaries in recent memory and my opinion of Good Night and Good Luck was such that it warranted some representation in the top 10. Hard to deny that this is a solid top ten with a good variety of memorable films.

- Mysterious Skin, Match Point, and 40 Year Old Virgin all maintain a relatively firm grasp on their respective positions. It speaks to the overall strength of the top ten 10 that films like that are filling out the top ten rather headlining. Speaking of, I need to watch Match Point again. I recall it as being an extremely well written morality play with a healthy dash of nihilism to boot, my kind of stuff and I want to see if it holds up in the flesh as well as it does in my mind's eye.

-Some might draw the conclusion that I've soured on Munich, how else to explain such a precipitous drop? It's actually not that complicated. I only saw it once and that was when it first came out. I still have a great deal of respect for it, but when I think of it, I don't feel it having as much of a lasting impact as those in front of it.

- Conversely, Oldboy made quite the jump. It's only fair. I re-watched it recently and man, talk about a film that kicks your ass. How Park Chan-Wook was able to distill the poisonous, soul-crushing nature of bloody vengeance into such a compelling, thrilling piece of cinema, I'll never know. All films are not created equal, but gearing your themes to work in concert with a compelling story is a good start.

- I recently saw a film called The Edge of Heaven by a young Turkish-German filmmaker by the name of Fatih Akin. I thought The Edge of Heaven was a very good film, so like I do with every film I watch, I did some more research and digging. I noticed that one of his earlier films sounded vaguely familiar and after noticing that it got some pretty good reviews, I decided to give Head-On a shot. Holy shit. I don't know what I expected, but I didn't expect to experience one of the most kinetic, edgy, heartbreaking love stories I've ever seen. Think True Romance without over the top ridiculousness (or...irony, maybe?) and that gives you a vague idea, but it's best to just experience Head-On for yourself. A strong bet to land in my top ten of the decade. It might be a top 20, I haven't decided yet. Either way, the Head-On contingent will be well represented.

Oscars: The Aftermath

2010-03-10T15:11:00.007-06:00

One way to know you're a sick, sick human being: you still watch all 4 hours of an awards show to which you already know all the results and highlights. To be fair, I didn't plan on watching the damn behemoth even though I had recorded it. I guess morbid curiosity got the best of me b/c I decided to just take a glimpse at the opening monologue and to catch Neil Patrick Harris' opening number, then before I knew it, I was sucked in. I'm like Michael Corleone in The Godfather III or a participant in a game of "just the tip" (just to see if I like it). I know better than to play JTT with the Academy, damn it all. Here are some random thoughts and observations:

- Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin did a solid job, especially Steve Martin. I did think having the two of them was unnecessary and didn't really add anything that Martin couldn't handle himself, but it was still better than having Whoopi or Wolverine host.

- The John Hughes tribute was absolutely ludicrous. Look, I get the fact that this generation and the previous generation have a special affinity for John Hughes related productions (to be fair, the guy isn't as prolific as everyone claims, he's only directed like 8 movies). I think by and large, they are ridiculously overrated and silly, passable entertainment at best, but I understand his movies are popular. But for the Academy to single him out and make a huge production over his death is insane. He made some movies that people like, but it's not like they're influential or helped change the game in any way. We're not talking about Kurosawa here. I'm sorry, but if people like Paul Newman, Marlon Brando, and Eric Rohmer merely get mentions during the generic "In Memoriam" segment, then you can never convince me that John freaking Hughes deserves to be singled out. I can't wait to see what the Academy does when Chris Columbus dies.

- Most Awesomely Oblivious Speech Award goes to Mo'Nique. I'll quote it for those who missed it: "First I'd like to thank the Academy for showing that it can be about the performance and not the politics." **cue rapturous applause** Then a sentence or two later, she name drops Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey for "touching" the film. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No politics my ass! Yeah, let's get two of only the richest, most influential pop culture icons in this country behind our little project, no politiking there! What a dolt. I haven't even seen Precious and this just makes me want to hate it.

- Big shoutout to Roger Ross Williams and Elinor Burkett for providing the evening's most uncomfortable moment during their acceptance for the Best Documentary Short award. I swear there had to be at least a fleeting thought of a sweet chokeslam going through Williams' mind when Burkett shoved him aside to give a speech. He had perfect position on her, I don't know why he didn't take advantage. The best part is that the most dramatic acceptances always come from people who direct these short films and not a single person other than those who are directly involved with them could give a fuck less. It's just awesome. Here's the clip in case you missed it.

- As far as the awards themselves go, it went about as I expected. I scored 15 out of 21, not bad, but not great either. The screenplay awards are what fucked me up. I underestimated the love for both The Hurt Locker and Precious. Also, cinematography for Avatar? Seriously?

- And what did I tell you about Best Foreign Film? Total friggin' crapshoot. I've done some more research on the voting process for that particular category and I'm curious to see how I'll do next year knowing what I know now.

- And didn't I say to look to Best Editing to get an idea of who's going to win the big prize? Damn, all this foresight...it's my cross to bear.

- One thing I will say about THL winning so big is that it's encouraging for a film that is definitely not the stereotypical "Oscar bait" to take home the big prize. Another interesting thing about THL is that it wasn't some manufactured Oscar winner that was created with the gold statue in mind to be released in December and given a $65 million Oscar marketing campaign. It was first screened in Italy in 2008 for chrissakes and really only gained steam through word of mouth and excellent critical response. I just appreciate the whole grass-roots effort.

- Another thing about the Academy that I feel is misappropriated is that they only choose certain types of films to win Best Picture. This can be the case sometimes and it certainly has proven itself true throughout the history of the ceremony, but in recent memory, they're really starting to take some chances and go with more daring work. Within the past few years, we've had The Departed, Million Dollar Baby, No Country For Old Men, Slumdog Millionaire, and The Hurt Locker all win Best Picture. Your mileage may vary on how good you think those films are, but you can't say they are typical Oscar bait. So, good for you, Academy.

- Oh and based on Jeff Bridges' acceptance speech, he wasn't doing a whole lot of "acting" in The Big Lebowski it seems. Good for him.

Oscar Time!

2010-03-07T16:01:00.002-06:00

Jimmy Page. Pete Townshend. Edge. I now know the burden that other legendary rock guitarists have had to shoulder for so long. Balancing the obligations of your personal passion projects and being a rock god is no easy task. I say this because for the first time in years, I will be unable to do the live Oscar blog commentary that I love so very much and look forward to every year. I have to play a show at Rocbar tonight (doors at 9, $5, cheap drink specials!!) so I won't even be able to watch the Oscars live, let alone provide the half-drunken ramblings we've all become so accustomed to on this holy night each year. Nonetheless, that's not gonna stop me from posting my predictions. Some might recall that I had a pretty good batting average last year (17 for 21), it may have been a personal best, so I'm hoping to beat that this year and I think I have a decent shot at it considering most of the major categories are slam dunks. And much like last year, the Oscars this year leave much to be desired. Last year, I had Mickey Rourke to pull for and I don't even think I have anything like that this year, so if there was a good year to miss the Oscars, this may be it, lucky me.

I just don't feel the overall landscape of films being "honored" is very strong at all and I will go ahead and admit that there is a sizable chunk of these films that I have yet to see, but I've been around the block enough to know that I don't need to see The Blind Side to already know I'll be annoyed by it. See? It's that easy. Ironically enough, I'm way ahead of the curve at this point in terms of how many 2009 films I've seen than I normally am at this time of year for viewing the previous year's films (I just don't go to the theater much, times they are a-changin'), but most of them just happen to not be Oscar bait. We may even see a Top Ten of 2009 sometime in the summer! You heard it here first, Christmas could come in July so stay tuned.

Ok, on with the predictions and then I'll probably throw out some random nuggets below that.

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker
Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow - The Hurt Locker
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges - Crazy Heart
Best Actress: Sandra Bullock - The Blind Side
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz - Inglourious Basterds
Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique - Precious
Best Original Screenplay: Inglourious Basterds
Best Adapted Screenplay: Up in the Air
Best Animated Feature: Up
Best Original Score: Up
Best Original Song: Crazy Heart - "The Weary Kind"
Best Editing: The Hurt Locker
Best Cinematography: The Hurt Locker
Best Art Direction: Avatar
Best Costume Design: The Young Victoria
Best Makeup: Star Trek
Best Sound Mixing: Avatar
Best Sound Editing: Avatar
Best Visual Effects: Avatar
Best Foreign Film: The White Ribbon
Best Documentary Feature: The Cove

- Okay let's start at the top. The big prize appears to be a two horse race between The Hurt Locker and Avatar, but keep in mind that the voting process is different this year. There are ten nominees (which was done in an effort to generate more mainstream interest since most people only watch films that are distributed on 3,000 screens or more...fuckin' degenerates) this year and the voters were told to rank them one through ten. Which means that even if a film gets the most number one votes, it could still lose. This paves the way for a dark horse like Inglourious Basterds to sneak through, but I just don't see it. I'm gonna go with The Hurt Locker and I'm okay with that, it's a very good film.

- All of the major acting categories are pretty much foregone conclusions with the minor exception being Best Actress, but even then, as much as I hate the idea of living in a world where Ms. Congeniality is an Oscar winner, I still think it's hers to lose. Gross.

- The screenplay awards are interesting b/c screenplay is usually where Oscar voters take the opportunity to reward a film that they felt was good, but not good enough to win Best Picture (i.e. Sideways, Lost in Translation, etc.). And in this case, since the potential Best Picture winners aren't winning on the merits of the writing necessarily, that opens the door for two films to be given their consolation prizes. I think the Academy really likes Inglourious Basterds and Up in the Air and while neither is a lock, I think these two are highly regarded enough to get the second tier prizes.

- I say it every year so by this point, I hope you've all learned a thing or two, but what do I always say about Best Editing? If you have a close race and want to get a good indicator as to who might have the edge, look to editing. If THL wins editing, I think it's a safe bet, but if not, watch out b/c the James Cameron pain train may be coming to your television sets worldwide.

- Costume Design this year is a little tricky b/c one of my other Oscar rules of thumb is when in doubt, go with the period pieces. However, this year we have two of them in The Young Victoria and Bright Star. Cheeky bastards! So I dug a little deeper and found that TYV won the Costume Designers Guild award. Plus, TYV has more lush extravagant costumes while Bright Star is a little more toned down given the subject matter. If I were to do power rankings of Oscar categories, I'd say Costume Design is moving up the charts in recent years in my estimation. I think I need help.

- Cinematography is very tough this year. I went with THL hoping that the intense camerawork and some minor coattailing would help push it over the top. However, The White Ribbon has gotten lots of love for its exquisite black and white cinematography (never underestimate the influence of b&w on voters!!) and then there's a little film called Avatar lurking in the background, so everyone needs to watch the fuck out. This could get bloody.

- Makeup is very tough as I see it between The Young Victoria and Star Trek. I may have gone with Star Trek as a sentimental favorite, but not too sentimental, I mean just look at it, it's all makeup, duh! Plus, it was critically acclaimed and generally well loved so I think it has a good shot, but we're still looking at a photo finish.

- Sound Mixing and Editing frustrates the living shit out of me. I point you to Exhibit A, last year at the Oscars when The Dark Knight won Best Sound Editing and Slumdog won Best Sound Mixing. Huh? Someone explain that to me. I picked Avatar for both this year because I feel that if there's one thing the Academy is going to reward for that film, it'll be its technical achievements. However, I wouldn't be surprised to see it win one and have THL win the other. Oscar is a bitch like that.

- Foreign Film is tough every year because it's the one category that the Academy actually has to watch every film in order to be eligible to vote. The White Ribbon has been critically lauded and been winning awards all over the globe, but then again, it is a Michael Haneke film, not exactly the most accessible filmmaker on the planet. Ajami, Un Prophete, and El Secreto de Sus Ojos all have legitimate shots at the award. It's borderline impossible to predict, just look as recently as last year when Japan's Departures came out of nowhere to break up the heavyweight fight between The Class and Waltz with Bashir. This is one category that is definitely NOT a popularity contest.

- I hear some SeaWorld orcas will be in attendance to accept the Best Documentary Award for The Cove on behalf of slaughtered dolphins around the world. Thanks, I'll be here all week.

Top Ten of 2008

2009-11-02T00:46:00.007-06:00

Another 11 months past the expiration date, another venerable top ten of the year list from yours truly. I'm starting to think that this may be the best way to compile these lists because they are created so long after the fact that it gives each film a chance to settle in my mind and pretty much be on equal footing with each other. There are no emotional/instantaneous reactions that could make the list tainted for future generations. We all damn well know we wouldn't want that now would we? Or maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better. Probably the latter.

Anyway, what a craptastic year. The Oscars were so fucking boring and if that happens, then you KNOW something is rotten in the state of Denmark. At the time, I chalked it up to not really having a horse in the race, but as I glean all 114 movies from 2008 I watched, I realize that aside from maybe the top 5, the best of the rest would struggle to make top tens in most other years. But 2008, I don't blame you! It's not your fault, you play the hand your dealt.

10) 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days - What's that you say? A tale of two girls getting a black market abortion in 1980s Romania? Sounds about as fun as sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic with the radio stuck on Ja'Rule's greatest hits. But if fun is what you're looking for, you've gone down the wrong path my friend, but I do believe there's still room for you in the theater showing G.I. Joe, so if you hurry, you can still make it. Instead, what we have is a harrowing, uncompromising look at the oppression these women and many others were/are forced to suffer through for their basic human rights. Winner of the 2007 Golden Palm at Cannes and with good reason. The images and performances haunt you long after the credits have rolled.

9) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - And so the evolution of David Fincher continues. This is not to say that Curious Case is his best film yet, but rather, the sphere of his storytelling/directing talents keeps expanding. You'd be hard-pressed to find a more talented director on the planet. Where once we had a kinetic, primarily style-based director, we now have someone who is learning to funnel his best assets into good, solid narratives and a greater emphasis on not only the thematic content of his films, but also the emotional quotient. And while the first half is significantly stronger than the second, the end result is still a film that manages to be compelling while striking the proper emotional balance between cloying and detached.

8) Taxi to the Dark Side - It's ironic that in the same year that acclaimed, superhero documentary filmmaker Errol Morris releases a documentary on Guantanamo, Alex Gibney releases this film. The irony is that between his work on this film and Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room, Gibney could very well be the new Errol Morris. I'm not ready to write off Morris yet by any means, but hey, Steve Young eventually replaced Montana...I'm just sayin'. The brilliance in Taxi... is that the film explores all aspects of not only Guantanamo, but the mentality/philosophy our government has towards torture. Guantanamo is merely an example used to illustrate this mindset and while it's clearly not unbiased, it's hard to ignore the issues the film raises even if you beg to differ.

7) In Bruges -Probably one of the most hilariously entertaining films of the year. And when Colin Farrell takes time off from acting like a deuche and mugging for the camera in garbage like Alexander, he's not half bad as an actor. And where can I score invites to that sweet midget/strippers/cocaine party?

6) Frost/Nixon - When Ron Howard isn't busy adapting Dan Brown/Dr. Seuss books and telling Mel Gibson to scream, "GIMME BACK MY SON!!!", he can be a pretty damn compelling filmmaker. Take for instance a film like Frost/Nixon, which is ostensibly one long glorified boxing match of an interview, yet it is about as engaging and fascinating a film you could find in 2008. It helps that the picture is greatly augmented by the work of the two leads in Frank Langella and Michael Sheen, both of whom turn in superlative work. I know that Langella got all of the accolades (and rightfully so), but Sheen's work shouldn't be dismissed here either because for all of the internal struggle that Langella's Nixon experiences throughout the film, he is matched by the evolutionary character arc of Sheen's Frost. I guess the only battle here wasn't just between Frost and Nixon, how meta!

5) Iron Man - Since comic book movies have just been stacking the deck against each other for the past 8-9 years, it wouldn't be accurate to call Iron Man the best comic book movie (more on that later) ever made, but best first comic book movie in a franchise? Up until this point, that honor belonged to the first Spider-Man, but now I feel comfortable passing that baton to IM. Then again, it probably wouldn't exist in its present day form without a film like Raimi's to pave the way, but that's irrelevant now. The point is, Jon Favreau and co. made an addictively entertaining and relevant film based on a third rate superhero (in the pantheon of comic book superheroes that is) with as charismatic a lead as you'll ever find in Robert Downey Jr.

4) Forgetting Sarah Marshall - The best romantic comedy in god knows how long. I could try to figure out the last "rom-com" that even approached FSM's level of comic aptitude and pathos, but what's the point? A preview for the latest Kate Hudson atrocity is enough to make me wanna gouge my eyes out, no point in sifting through all the garbage just to make a minor point. The thing that grabs me about FSM is aside from it being a very funny film, the soul and the truthfulness in the story are what stand out to me the most. You can tell this is written from the point of view of a guy who has had his heartbroken and been through all the emotional turmoil that everyone else has in that situation. It's one thing to say everyone has experienced something similar (what's unique about that?) and it's another to put it on film in a manner that is simultaneously poignant and hilarious. I mean, isn't what makes movies/music/art/etc. so influential and important in our lives? Feeling that connection is the ultimate reward.

3) The Wrestler - In one of the eeriest examples of art imitating life (or is it vice versa?), Mickey Rourke plays a burnt out wrestler taking one last shot at glory. While it's still a crock of shit that Rourke did not win the Best Actor Oscar for his work here, he still carries this film every step of the way. He is a huge part of its greatness and when you see someone bare their soul the way he does, it's hard to really care about outside accolades, just enjoy the experience for what it is. I was literally sad for him after walking out of the theater.

2) Synecdoche, NY - Speaking of devastating, if I've ever seen an example of a writer/director swinging for the fucking fences, it's the brilliant Charlie Kaufman in Synecdoche, NY. While certainly not for everyone as it has no discernible narrative to speak of, this meditation on life/death and the value of art is one of the most thought-provoking films you'll ever come across. I've watched it a few times already and I could watch it 1,000 more times and still walk away with something new or a new angle on it altogether every time. To say more would be to launch into a 10,000 word rambling, stream-of-consciousness essay on our existence and the ephemeral footprint we leave through our experiences and through artistic expression...always changing, always shifting, a constant work in progress...yeah, that kinda describes the film too.

1) The Dark Knight - Similar to last year, this is more of a co-number one and two ranking and perhaps time will sort all of that out, but for now, this is how it looks. Remember when I mentioned something before about the best comic book movie ever made? Well, THIS is the best comic book movie ever made. An honor previously held by Spider-Man 2 and not to disparage that film, but while SP2 was the more emotionally resonant film, TDK is a more realistic examination of what it means to be a hero in our times, in our world where evil truly exists and the eternal struggle isn't some cut and dry/point A to B resolution, but rather a series of compromises and ugly nuances of "morality". Explosions and chase sequences and Heath Ledger's brilliantly maniacal turn as the Joker are all lots of fun, but what makes TDK a cut above the rest is how it is so unafraid to confront the realities of crime and punishment. This isn't Bush's Amurica where you can tell whoever to nuke dem sonsofbitches. The idea of a third one terrifies me...how the fuck is Christopher Nolan gonna top this?

Runners-Up: Cloverfield, Wall-E, The Edge of Heaven, Chop Shop, Snow Angels

Individual Awards:
Best Actor: Mickey Rourke - The Wrestler: Good competition this year, but aside from how much Rourke bared his soul so emphatically, what puts this over the top is he probably meant more to his film than any other actor did to their respective films this year.
Runners-Up: Richard Jenkins - The Visitor, Sean Penn - Milk, Phillip Seymour Hoffman - Synecdoche, NY, Robert Downey Jr. - Iron Man, Frank Langella - Frost/Nixon

Best Actress: Sally Hawkins - Happy-Go-Lucky: Bravely bizarre performance in a film that isn't shy about making you feel uncomfortable. Hawkins' performance wore me out just watching it, but I'd be lying if I wasn't blown away by how she was able to glide up and down the emotional spectrum so gracefully and naturally.
Runners-Up: Anne Hathaway - Rachel Getting Married, Meryl Streep - Doubt, Kristin Scott Thomas - I've Loved You So Long, Angelina Jolie - Changeling, Anamaria Marinca - 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days

Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight: Duh.
Runners-Up: Robert Downey Jr. - Tropic Thunder, Michael Shannon - Revolutionary Road, Russell Brand - Forgetting Sarah Marshall, David Strathairn- My Blueberry Nights, Brendan Gleeson - In Bruges

Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz - Elegy and Vicky Cristina Barcelona: Maybe it's cheating to reward someone for their work in two movies, but I can do what I want, so fuck off. For a time, it was hard to believe that Cruz was the same actress in her original Spanish films and in American films since she was so good in the former and less than impressive in the latter. That no longer seems to be the case as evidenced in these two films alone (amongst others), she really shows her range.
Runners-Up: Rosemarie Dewitt - Rachel Getting Married, Kate Winslet - The Reader, Marisa Tomei - The Wrestler, Elsa Zylberstein - I've Loved You So Long, Viola Davis - Doubt

Other Miscellaneous Awards (or lack thereof):
Worst Film of the Year: Always one of my favorite categories as the competition is always stiff. The funny thing about the worst films of the year is that they are like ninjas, they can strike at any moment, when you least expect them or when you most expect them, and even then, you're powerless to stop them. You think you can beat Michael Bay or Joel Schumacher? No way, jose. They're still making movies and getting rich off of you! Uh, scoreboard. Anyway, my point is the best films are generally concentrated at the end of the year (fall/winter movie season), while the worst films could strike in the doldrums of January & February, they could sneak by with their "award-season" street cred in the fall/winter movie season or you could just go to the theater in July, put on a blindfold and walk into any of the 24 theaters at your local AMC and soak up the genius that is the latest animated film involving penguins in some form or fashion or maybe even be treated to the latest Twilight opus, the possibilities are endless! Anyway, less talk more rock, here are some films that despite my best quality screening efforts, somehow slipped past the metal detectors:

- Shamalamadingdong decided to team up with botany nerds and Mark Walhberg's voice to attack your senses in The Happening. I knew it would be bad, I just had to see it with my own eyes. I have no one to blame, but myself.

- I thought the first Chronicles of Narnia was decent. I never read the books, so I guess I watched the first one out of some misguided attempt at trying to retroactively fit in with the cool C.S. Lewis crowd. I don't even remember the name of the second one, but I'm pretty sure the title is about as long as the movie, which I think clocked in right around 5 hours and 32 minutes. I'm all for suspension of disbelief, but when I see 8 year old kids wielding swords and kicking the shit out of monsters and soldiers who looked like they trained with the Spartans, I just can't take it. I think I got a lot of ironing done while this was on, so there's always that.

- Oh Spike, it's on again off again with you isn't it? Spike Lee is one of our best modern day American filmmakers, but let's look at what he's done since 2002. 25th Hour (great film), She Hate Me (I think I gave it worst film of the year in 2004), Inside Man (solid, genre film), When the Levees Broke (best film of 2006), and now, Miracle at St. Anna. You see a pattern here? How one man can go from making some of the best films of the last 30 years to making some of the worst just blows my mind, but it is what it is. Still got lots of love for ol' Spike. I look forward to his next documentary, Matt Schaub Doing Work, it's gonna be epic.

- Australia. Yeah, didn't see this one coming. Wolverine stars in an 8 hour epic set in the outback with Nicole Kidman, lots of singing and dancing ensues. You have been warned.

- Lost Boys 2: The Tribe was horrible, but that went straight to DVD and had parts where Corey Feldman would show up in a headband and camouflage uttering lines like, "Did somebody order the stake?!". It's kinda not fair. Hey, I don't show up at dad's pitch games trying to knock one out of the park. Respect the game.

- But enough foreplay, we may not have had Michael Bay in 2008, but we did have Adam Sandler! Can someone remind me when this guy was last funny? I think at the time the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was one of the higher rated sitcoms on television. You Don't Mess With Zohan is one of those comedies that makes you actively angry with how not funny it is. Oh look, Sandler is having sex with old Jewish women in the bathroom, OH! MY! GOD! My sides, stop stop! Every summer, you can count on the weather warming up, the Mets to fall apart, and Adam Sandler to unleash yet another hopelessly unfunny and out of touch "comedy".

Most Underrated/Underappreciated Film of the Year:
No clear cut winner this year as I'm inclined to mention films like Hellboy 2, which was pretty damn good especially when compared to its completely inferior predecessor or Zack and Miri Make a Porno, which was way funnier than Kevin Smith had any right for it to be considering...well, it's a Kevin Smith film that wasn't made in the 90s. All that being said, I think a film that deserved to be seen more was Tom McCarthy's The Visitor. Richard Jenkins did get love from the Academy for his work and rightfully so, but much like McCarthy's previous film (the masterpiece that is The Station Agent), the name of the game here is restraint and honesty in filmmaking. Nothing ever feels forced or artificial, which makes the more intense moments that more emotionally resonant and potent.

My Cheesy, "Power of the Movies" Moment Award:
Be Kind, Rewind. The part when they screen their homemade epic involving the whole neighborhood on the wall of the video store. I have no idea why, I just found it to be very moving. Have any of us ever done anything like that? Of course not, but I'm sure everyone can remember the experience of watching a great movie in a theater when all of the outside factors were perfectly conducive to the best cinematic experience possible. Or maybe that's just me.

Better Than Most Horror Films You'll See In a Given Year Award:
The Signal. Not a masterpiece, but a good solid piece of intense filmmaking.

The "Damn, the first half was so much better than the second half" Award:
Hancock. What a crock to have a very funny, entertaining film turn into the most serious thing you've ever seen (okay, I'm just exaggerating for effect) for its final 40 minutes. Wrong time, wrong film. Pick a tone and stick with it, geez.

Don't You Fuckin' Forget, Brilliant Comedic Acting Is Not Easy Award:
Steve Coogan for his brilliant work in Hamlet 2. Steve Coogan is usually pretty great, but his hilariously manic performance in Hamlet 2 is a prime example of a comedic lead taking a role to new heights. The film seems like it'd be mildly funny as is, but Coogan's performance elevates the entire film. He is to Hamlet 2 what Mickey Rourke is to The Wrestler and he deserves to be recognized for it.

The Makes Me Wanna Take a Long Hot Shower After Watching It Award:
Blindness. Good film and unafraid to show the base ugliness of human nature. Uplifting stuff.

Best Ending to an Otherwise Merely Decent Film Award:
Let the Right One In. Perfect in terms of theme, tone, and execution. Too bad the rest of the film is unworthy of it.

Evidence That Emo/Indie Kids Are Getting Old Enough to Make Films Award:
Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist. Kat Dennings deserves better than this.

The Great Concept, but Should Have Been a Much Better Film Award:
JCVD. Shot in a part documentary/part action film style with the man, the legend, Van Damme playing himself as a character who gets stuck in a hostage situation and needs to fight his way out Bloodsport-style. Only problem is the film is light on the action and narrative momentum and heavy on strange filters/lighting and de-mythologizing action stars. Normally, I'm all for stuff like that, but in this case, maybe I just wanted to see some sweet roundhouses one more time. I wonder what Michael Dudikoff is doing these days.

Best Supporting Actor Award:
Clint Eastwood's persistent growling in Gran Torino. *rimshot* Heyoooo!

Guilty Pleasure Award:
Definitely, Maybe. It's no secret that I have a soft spot for Ryan Reynolds, I can't help it. But I didn't expect this. A very solid and surprisingly moving romance. It'll still be one of those movies where if someone is like "Have you ever seen this movie?". I'll just say, "uh...no, what is that?".

Television Power Rankings

2009-10-25T04:08:00.003-05:00

Let's take a breather from the breakneck pace I've established with the yearly Reduxes...reduxe...reduxan? Ah yes, reduxan. I know, you don't have to tell me, you barely have time to refresh your browser before I've posted a new entry full of internet delights and cyberworld pleasures that not only please the eye, but also massage the depths of your soul. Take heart, dear pretend reader, for the well of inspiration never runs dry on this blog! As I've mentioned before, the era in which we currently live has produced television that has become a bastion of creativity and innovation that threatens to make film altogether obsolete. Want proof? Try watching The Wire ya weenie. That being said, I still plan to stay the course with modern day cinema and keep the faith that the quality output each year is enough to stave off the hatred and apathy that crap like Transformers and Twilight can elicit.

As a result, I've decided to periodically (and obviously, I use that word very loosely) produce "Power Rankings" for TV for shows that I keep up with, which you can be assured is very extensive. What can I say? I take my job very seriously. And just to clarify, "Power Rankings" are not overall rankings of what I think of a show. They are an elaborate composite of a show's current and in theory, predictive momentum/quality. They use them in sports all the time and jocks are as desperate/pathetic as anyone, so you know it's legit. In other words, they speak to how a show is currently doing and where they stack up in the pantheon of other programs (yeah, I said it). If they were rankings of favorite shows, that wouldn't shift very often because movement on a list like that would require years of credibility/awesomeness or vice versa to make any noise or significant difference. I'm a loyal guy, what can I say? So, as Icelanders say, let's get the fuck on with it (they probably don't say that, but they should):

14) Flash Forward - Yikes. See kids, this is what happens when you only care about story and not one shit about characters or even worse, cliche-proofing your characters. This is creeping into Heroes territory which I gave wayyyyy too much benefit of the doubt for too long and goddammit, I won't make the same mistake again! In conclusion, you're on thin ice, motherfucker!

13) Bored to Death - Sometimes, I feel like I'm watching this show on a completely different plane from its "intended audience". They bill it as a comedy, I find it sparingly funny. Zach Galifianakis is completely wasted and while I initially found it endearing, now I'm just waiting for something to make me give a shit. And to think Arrested Development was canceled due to lack of viewership on a network that had several seasons of Parker Lewis Can't Lose and Models, Inc makes me nauseous. But, I digress.

12) Community - The pedigree is right. Joel McHale appears to be a solid comedic lead. Now it's time to start being funny. Or at least, funny enough to make me look forward to watching this as opposed to just seeing it as something I need to erase in order to make more room on my DVR. I guess my problem is that the show treats its secondary characters as characters we've come to know and love over the years and therefore, their random pairings and idiosyncrasies should be just unbelievably hilarious to us, but they're not. It has this sense of entitlement that really bothers me and it's like it's just mooching off the groundwork that shows like The Office and 30 Rock have carefully laid and it pisses me off. Or maybe I should just calm down. But I don't think so.

11) 30 Rock - Speaking of 30 Rock! Now we're getting into the good stuff. Don't get me wrong, 30 Rock is ALWAYS (and I do mean ALWAYS) good for at least a few awesome one-liners per episode, but these first two episodes have not been up to snuff. They are still better than most of the crap on TV, but they have no one to blame but themselves for the high standards they have set. Hey, Tom Brady (you knew a sports reference was coming, just admit it) even had a slow start this year. Nothing to worry about, 30 Rock will come through and they will be justly rewarded on the vaunted power rankings accordingly later this season.

10) Tosh.0 - Daniel Tosh is hilarious. This show is an excuse to be even more hilarious and contains many moments of hilarity in and of itself. As a result, it has done nothing but reap hilarity upon our soil for its entirety. But at the end of the day, the ceiling is only so high for a show ostensibly sponsored by YouTube. Still love my boy D-Tosh though!

9) Parks and Recreation - Talk about stepping up your game. The only reason I stuck with this show, despite its putrid first season, was because of my undying love and commitment to The Office and its brilliant braintrust (which, if you haven't figured out, is the same for this show). My patience has been rewarded as P&R has settled into a nice groove and has proven that Chris Pratt and Aziz Ansari are comedic forces to be reckoned with.

8) Modern Family - I had no interest in this show whatsoever when I first saw the promos. It looked like another generic ABC Home Improvement-style "family comedy" and while we all desperately miss the omnipresence of Tim Allen (*gag*), it looked like it belonged in the CBS comedy suck-a-thon along with garbage like Two and a Half Men and Big Bang Theory (don't even make me remember Everybody Loves Raymond). How wrong I was. Incredibly quick witted and heartfelt without being cloying (basically, everything Community was billed as being) and Ty Burrell is already one of the funniest characters on television. Big props to this new Arrested Development-style comedy. P.S. I love Sofia Vergara.

7) Dexter - In a nod to a higher ranking because of benefit of the doubt, in comes Dexter. I've been skeptical about this show for a while because even though the first two seasons were ridiculously compelling television (as was the 3rd season, but suffered from the law of diminishing returns), it never takes any chances whatsoever and insists on feeding us the same dish over and over again. I don't give a fuck about any characters not named Dexter's love life/personal predicaments and I REALLY don't give a fuck about Deb's 20th boyfriend and the ensuing problems. However, the latest episode helped restore some of my faith as it was top quality Dexter and gives me tentative hope. It's a tenuous grasp you have and a slippery slope, don't fuck it up! Pretend like you're on HBO and take some chances, goddammit.

6) Californication - As strong a start to any of its previous seasons in my mind. Hank Moody's "witticisms" are as scathing as ever and the women are as hot as ever. Here's what I have come to want from this show: Quick-witted dialogue, a small sampling of heartfelt exchanges/reflections, and breasts, lots of breasts. So far, so good. And Kathleen Turner is fucking disgusting. Best anti-smoking ad ever.

5) It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Not much explanation needed. One of the best comedies to ever grace television screens is still bringing it as strong as ever. And this wouldn't complete without at least mentioning "Nightcrawlers". There, I said it.

4) The Office - The only reason this is above It's Always Sunny... is b/c of the wedding episode. While this season has been typically awesome and up to the usual standards, the wedding episode exhibited what The Office does so well. It took a sentimental plot and somehow, someway managed to not Friends/Grey's Anatomy it out. They still made it hilarious, but altogether moving and rewarding for longtime Office fans. The writers of this show continue to amaze me in how they maintain the high level of comedy and manage the inherent sentimentality of the show in a digestible, genuinely touching way. When it's all said and done, this will be one of the greatest TV shows ever, if it's not already.

3) Curb Your Enthusiasm - It's one thing to rest on your laurels and try to coast as one of the funniest/best comedies on TV over the past decade. It's another to completely take it all to another level in your 7th freakin' season. But Larry David will always be miserable and we all reap the benefits from that reality. Every episode has been fantastic so far and we're sadly halfway through the season already. No one does misanthropic, meta-humor better than LD. And the more Leon, the better.

2) Mad Men - One of the frequent complaints buzzing around the internet is that this season has been slow to develop. Perhaps it's beginning to suffer from all the awards/acclaim/expectations, but for anyone who has actually watched Mad Men from the beginning to the present, this show is all about the slow burn. And we're starting to see everything come to a head, especially in the last 4 episodes. Personally, I just enjoy being in the presence of these characters and the brilliance of Matthew Weiner (seriously, does this guy need to do anything else to gain your faith?). Maybe things will change once this season ends, but the first 2 seasons are all the evidence I need to know that by the end, we'll all be counting down to August once again.

1) Sons of Anarchy - It's remarkable really. I started watching this show from day one last season because it had solid pre-air buzz and fuck, nothing else worth a shit aired on Wednesdays. The first couple of episodes were okay, but nothing more and then, holy shit. SofA started a wave of momentum that has yet to flag. This season only upped the ante and keeps building and building to a point where I can't stand that I have to wait a week between each episode. It recently beat Jay Leno in ratings and I couldn't be more psyched because if there's one show that deserves more attention, it's this one. Don't worry, when the rest of America finally catches on, you'll either feel cool for being on the ground floor or like a dumbass for not having been on the bandwagon earlier. You have been warned.

My explanations/reasoning were probably a tad long-winded for mere power rankings, but fuck it, you only live once.

2004 Redux

2009-09-06T00:11:00.003-05:00

Ok that was quite a break, back to the grind!

2004 (Original List):

10) Before Sunset
9) Dogville
8) Hotel Rwanda
7) Closer
6) Saw
5) Kill Bill: Volume 2
4) Million Dollar Baby
3) I Heart Huckabees
2) Sideways
1) Spider-Man 2

Now here's my 2004 List if I were to write it today:

10) Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
9) Dogville
8) The Incredibles
7) Closer
6) Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
5) Kill Bill: Volume 2
4) Million Dollar Baby
3) I Heart Huckabees
2) Spider-Man 2
1) Sideways

Observations:

- I guess the two things that jump out to the naked eye are the fact that the top 5 films remained the exact same with only one alteration in terms of order and the fact that two comedies made their leap into the top ten.

- With the top 5 remaining the same, I think that speaks volumes about each one of those films. Not only were they excellent upon the initial viewing, but subsequent viewings have, if nothing else, reiterated my original position if not strengthened it. Kill Bill: Volume 2 is still a fascinating mix of action, origin story, and vengeance-laden philosophizing. It's also probably still Tarantino's most heartfelt film to date, as weird as that is to say. Million Dollar Baby is just as resonant and powerful as ever and remains the crowning achievement in Clint Eastwood's latest ridiculous hot streak. I Heart Huckabees is still the most hilarious existential comedy ever created, worrrrdddddd. The only flip-flop was between the top 2 and it is no way a knock on Spider-Man 2. In reality, that and Sideways are pretty much interchangeable in my mind. They both hold a special place in my heart. Nonetheless, I feel that Sideways is an example of one of those rare occurrences when all of the elements in the universe are perfectly synergized to achieve one common goal for the good of humanity...and that is to make a film so tonally perfect, so wonderfully acted, so hilariously poignant, so reflective of real emotion and real human experience. All works of art affect us in different ways. The most powerfully affecting ones come in so many different forms. Much like Lost in Translation, Sideways makes its impact on your soul and heart in a way that few are capable of.

- The other noticeable change is the presence of two comedies in the top ten. I've always felt that comedy is underappreciated when it comes to its place on the overall spectrum of film. Maybe this is due to the nature of comedy and its inherent subjectivity. Common sense says that what one person may find to be hilarious could very well be akin to nails on a chalkboard for someone else. I mean, there are actually people on this planet who miss Jay Leno and hate Conan. I know I know...it's a sick world we live in. Nonetheless, comedy is often overlooked not only by the Academy, but during awards season altogether for the most part. Sure, there are films that have comedic elements to them and may even be satirical in nature, but how often does a film like Old School or Superbad get any kind of award consideration on any level? I'm not saying we should lead a crusade and overvalue comedies b/c they're slighted already, but I just think it's crucial not to take them for granted. Films across all genres elicit all kinds of emotions from us and we keep coming back for more for that exact reason, so isn't laughter just as important (not to mention how comedies are the comfort food of cinema)?

- Amazing that Dogville has retained the exact same spot after 5 years despite having only seen it once. It's not for everyone, but if you allow it to do its job, it's the type of film that stays with you and haunts you for days, weeks, months, maybe even years. And believe me, I'm the last one on the planet who wants to validate anything as far as Lars von Trier's film career is concerned. Barry Bonds was a dickhead, but still a great player. What can ya do.

- This list is kind of the antithesis of the 2003 list in that there is plenty of depth, but the overall strength of the actual top ten isn't as rock solid as 2003's. On the positive side, having to leave off films like Saw, Before Sunset, Metallica: Some Kind of Monster (just to name a few) is a good problem to have.

2003 Redux

2009-04-05T23:22:00.004-05:00

Quick note to anyone seeing this first time and being like, "Good golly, miss molly what is going on around here!?": Click here and it'll take you to the initial entry where I explain all of this madness. It's kinda like trying to get caught up on LOST, it's never too late, kids! Now, let's get on with the show.

2003 (Original List):

10) Gerry
9) Matchstick Men
8) Mystic River
7) 21 Grams
6) Old School
5) The Shape of Things
4) City of God
3) Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
2) The Secret Lives of Dentists
1) Lost in Translation

Now here's my 2003 List if I were to write it today:

10) Mystic River
9) The Secret Lives of Dentists
8) The Shape of Things
7) All the Real Girls
6) City of God
5) Old School
4) Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
3) Capturing the Friedmans
2) The Station Agent
1) Lost in Translation

Observations:

- I guess it makes sense that Lost in Translation would maintain its position atop the mountain, it's a juggernaut, what can I say. It also hasn't lost any of its allure. Sure, Scarlett Johannson is a bit overexposed, but the central appeal of the film still remains intact. It's just one of those rare occasions where the synergy of all of the filmmaking elements worked in perfect harmony. It's almost assured a coveted spot on my Top Ten of the Decade list (coming in 2010!).

- The fall of The Secret Lives of Dentists is pretty much a result of the same issue I had with The Pianist. It's not a reflection of the film's quality as both films are terrific, but I simply haven't seen either of them in years.

- Other than that, there are no real risers or fallers that were previously on the list other than TSLoD. The rest of the movement is pretty much just an upward or downward shift by about two spots, pretty negligible really. The big impact comes from three newbies: All the Real Girls, Capturing the Friedmans, and The Station Agent.

- If you haven't seen any of David Gordon Green's films, do yourself a favor and check him out. He's one of the few American auteurs who makes truly unique films that are firmly grounded in reality yet manage to possess a dreamlike quality to them. I feel that All the Real Girls is his best film and any other year in a top ten that isn't so strong, it'd definitely be a top-fiver. Nonetheless, that doesn't diminish its quality, it's a wonderful film.

- Capturing the Friedmans is quite honestly the best documentary I've ever seen. We're truly lucky because as much as we can bitch about how "they don't make 'em like they used to", we are smack-dab in the middle of the golden age of documentaries. Every year, there are a slew of documentaries coming out that are relevant, thought-provoking, and with the advent of DVD, extremely current. As a result, I've seen a shitload of documentaries over the past handful of years and CtF surpasses them all. When I watch a documentary, I want something that makes me asks questions, not some Michael Moore-esque polemic that tells me how to feel or think. I want something that presents an issue to me, shows me all sides, and allows me to draw my own conclusions. CtF aces this test as the whole theme behind it is the elusiveness of truth and how despite all of the information we gather, sometimes the truth is unattainable. I was haunted by this film and couldn't get enough of its story. Immediately after the film, I devoured all of the extra footage on the DVD b/c I wanted to arrive at a conclusion that I was comfortable with, but that never happened. Maybe that's why I love the film Zodiac so much, as it deals with the basic human need to KNOW the rational truth. There's something hard-wired into our DNA that requires an explanation and a satisfactory resolution. When we don't get it, it's like a tick burrowing into our brain that we can't root out. I find that fascinating.

- And then there's The Station Agent. Its ascension to the number 2 spot should surprise no one as I've maybe seen this film more than any other film on this list by far. It's what I'd consider to be a near-perfect film that has established a permanent residence in my psyche. Once in a blue moon, you find a film that tonally hits every note just right and this film does just that. Just goes to show that these lists are organic and forever changing. You can check out a film long after you've already formulated an established list and it just destroys everything in its path. It's the best kind of surprise.

- As soon as I'm done sifting through my other lists, I'll have to see how this one stacks up. This appears to be about as strong as it gets from top to bottom.

2002 Redux

2009-04-01T16:57:00.004-05:00

I was recently thinking about how I compose these Top Ten Lists every year and that when I look back at them, I realize they're more snapshots in time than definitive lists. It's difficult to make anything definitive/final when it comes to opinions on things like film, music, literature, etc. simply because tastes are always shifting and perspectives changing (and in theory, hopefully evolving). Nonetheless, I wanted to compare and contrast how I would formulate those same lists now while viewing what they were when I initially wrote them. As a result, I'm going to post my top ten films of the year from each year in recent memory and then I'll post what my list would be now. Unfortunately, I could only find them as far back as 2002, even though I know I've done them since 1999. Oh well, this should be just fine for my purposes here, a good time shall be had by all. All that being said, I now present to you the first edition in a series of several (?), starting with 2002.

2002 (Original List):

10) Blade II
9) Spirited Away
8) Y Tu Mama Tambien
7) Minority Report
6) Punch Drunk Love
5) The Pianist
4) 25th Hour
3) Spider-Man
2) About a Boy
1) Gangs of New York

Now here's my 2002 List if I were to write it today:

10) Roger Dodger
9) Spirited Away
8) Y Tu Mama Tambien
7) Spider-Man
6) 25th Hour
5) Signs
4) About a Boy
3) Minority Report
2) Punch Drunk Love
1) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Observations:

- I guess the biggest change is the fact that Gangs of New York went from being el numero uno to not even on my current list. I chalk this up to the fact that at the time, I was expecting the greatest Scorsese film ever made considering how much I had heard about the film up to that point and how it was his big labor of love/lifetime dream project and on and on. As a result, while I still think it's a very good film, I think my excitement with the fact that I liked it a lot made me overstate how truly great I thought it was. Now, despite all of its successes and a typically brilliant performance from Daniel Day-Lewis, it's a pretty forgettable film. Nearly 7 years later, it hasn't been one of those films that sticks to your ribs. It's a lot more like Chinese food, in and out baby.

- Minority Report and Punch Drunk Love both made significant leaps forward as the former has turned out to be not only one of the best sci-fi/action films in recent memory, but also one of the most prescient (Patriot Act, anyone?) and the latter, I've found to be one of the most bizarrely disarming "rom-coms" I've ever seen. Although calling it a "rom-com" is not really fair, nor does it do it justice. Like D.J. Justice.

- Interesting that both Spirited Away and Y Tu Mama Tambien retained their exact same positions both times around. I'm sure there's something insightful or witty to draw from that, but I don't know what it would be. Or maybe there isn't.

-Signs and The Two Towers were the two films that asserted themselves on the new list and to say I would never give those two films the benefit of the doubt back in 2002 is an understatement. I finally came to my senses with LOTR and ultimately found that entire trilogy to be the best trilogy ever made. In the case of Signs, I've always held a special reservoir of spite just for Shamalamadingdong, but this was a case of putting a good story ahead of his typical parlor tricks and it worked out well for him.

- Finally, The Pianist fell off the list simply because I only saw it once and that was during its initial theatrical run, so in theory I could see it again and it could vault back into my coveted top ten.

- One final observation. I notice that film buffs and critics alike usually like to bemoan any given year as a "terrible" year for cinema or whatever other snippy adjective you wanna throw in there because let's face it, it's always more fun to complain. Nonetheless, I've noticed that most years are pretty similar. I'll have a very solid top ten featuring a couple of excellent films that sit above the rest and then maybe some more other very good ones that didn't quite make the top ten. Even in years when it seems like there just isn't much to get excited about, the top ten list usually turns out solid even if 80% of everything else pretty much sucked. 2002 is a perfect example of this. Not a banner year by any stretch of the imagination, highly forgettable really. Yet at the end of the day, I'm left with a solid top ten and a few others who just barely missed the cut. My point is, while there will always be plenty of shit to go around, there's usually a solid collection of the good stuff to make it all worth it.

The Sweet Stuff

2009-02-28T03:34:00.004-06:00

Need more evidence that Louis C.K. kicks ass? Oh, there it is!

I also just watched an utterly phenomenal film that I somehow managed to miss in the year of our lord that was 2005. It's a German film entitled Head-On and is kinda like what the love child of Wong Kar-Wai and Guy Ritchie (the good version) might resemble. Do yourself a favor and check it out, unless you're content to only feast upon that which Emperor Hollywood feeds you.

Finally, I feel I would be remiss if I didn't mention how this season of Big Love is one of the best seasons of television I have ever seen. If you enjoy light speed narrative momentum, top notch acting/writing, and using your brain, then you need to put this bad boy on your DVR stat. Just trust me.

Oscars 2009

2009-02-22T18:30:00.016-06:00

Looking back, I just realized that this will be the 5th year in a row of my live Oscar commentary. To think that this all began with a short little hourly commentary on Live Journal and has now exploded into the global, editorial empire you now see before you today is very humbling. I'd just like to thank my family, Chi, Pants, Jesus...and I could go on forever...ok really, let's go on with it!

I guess I should throw some predictions out there. The past two years have not been terribly kind to my ego. Each of the past two years, I've gone 12 for 21 and it usually follows a pattern of: nailing all the major awards (usually with one exception) and getting fucked over by a blockbuster I thought was beloved to sweep the technical awards but in actuality wasn't. I yearn to return to my glory days of 2006 when I went a hearty 15 for 21. Also, if anyone wants to start the Louis Gossett Jr. pool, be my guests. In fact, I insist. Anyway, on with the predictions:

Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Director: Danny Boyle - Slumdog Millionaire
Best Actor: Mickey Rourke - The Wrestler
Best Actress: Kate Winslet - The Reader
Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight
Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz - Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Best Original Screenplay: Milk
Best Adapted Screenplay: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Animated Feature: Wall-E
Best Original Score: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Original Song: Slumdog Millionaire - "Jai Ho"
Best Editing: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Cinematography: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Art Direction: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Costume Design: The Duchess
Best Makeup: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Sound Mixing: The Dark Knight
Best Sound Editing: The Dark Knight
Best Visual Effects: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Foreign Film: The Class
Best Documentary Feature: Man on Wire

So we're looking at 5 wins for Slumdog and 4 of the more technical nature for ol' Ben Button. Benjamin Button, if you fuck me over, there will be blood. *rim shot* I have this feeling that this is an easy Oscars to predict, but by virtue of me saying that, I know I'm gonna get screwed and only get 4 categories right. So let's get on with it and watch Wolverine gay it up!

7:13pm CST:

I get that they need uber-gay guys to comment on what everyone is wearing, but I really think they should entertain the idea of getting someone who could be classified as "sports bar guy", but you must have him in bro-down mode. Think about it: "Yo Jamie Foxx, bro, what are these duds you're wearing? Right on bro, I love it, I love it. That is a sweet tux, Hugh. Right on bro, *fist pound*, take it easy man. Late."

It's nice to see Viola Davis reppin' on the carpet sans snot running out of her nose. She cleans up well. Who knew a piece of Kleenex could make such a world of difference?

I think it's safe to say that Penelope Cruz is the hottest woman on the planet who features such distinct bird-like qualities. Her face has a beak. Just look at it.

Ok, is anyone else thinking the same thing? Where in the fuck is Louis Gossett, Jr?! If the superstar of Diggstown does not make an appearance, I'm gonna be pissed. I don't know what Oscar commentators are gonna do without the requisite "safe" black guy to make remarks about. It's an old Oscar standby, "Just look at Louis Gossett, Jr in a blah blah blah suit, the epitome of first class". If they don't have that, the whole operation crumbles.

Alright, an interview with Judd Apatow, Seth Rogen, and Leslie Mann...it's about as Jewish as your television can get.

I also gotta say, I'm not terribly optimistic about Hugh Jackman as host tonight. I don't know why they don't just stick with Steve Martin or Billy Crystal every year. Steve Martin only needs a couple of months out of the year to make a zany comic farce with either Queen Latifah or some plot involving a lot of children (or both), but other than that, he's available. So is Jon Stewart. Hugh Jackman seems like a nice, affable guy, but he's also Mr. Tony, so you know what that means...lots of sweet singing and dancing. Can't fucking wait.

7:31pm CST:

Wow, we're about 3 seconds into it and he's already singing. God, I hate being right all the time. It's my cross to bear.

I guess shit like this is funny to old people and probably rich white people. I'm not even an Oscar critic. I freaking LOVE the Oscars and am not ashamed of it. I'm the ultimate Oscar apologist. People complain that the telecasts are too long, I wish they were longer b/c I love film and if the only thing we can get to celebrate every year is an epic self-congratulatory circle jerk amongst Hollywood's richest and most beautiful, then so be it. Sign me up. All that being said, even I, the harbinger of all things Oscar, thinks this sucks. Ouch, Hugh.

While this interminable opening prattles on, I want to give a shout-out to the Independent Spirit Awards. If you find the Oscars to be ridiculous and overblown and too much for you, the ISAs may be the perfect antidote for you. It's a lot more laid-back, they're allowed to cuss, and surly bastards like Philip Seymour Hoffman and Charlie Kauffman are always attending so you know there's never a dull moment. For future reference, it's on the Saturday before the Oscars every year on IFC and AMC. Need more evidence that they kick ass? The Wrestler won best picture and director last night. Yeah. Take that.

I just spotted Philip Seymour Hoffman in the crowd and he's still wearing his beanie. God, I love that man.

Want a good prop bet? What would you say the over-under is for Oscar montages over the course of the evening? We've already got one in the bag so if the line was 1/2 and you picked the over, you're a genius.

Alright! Supporting Actress right off the bat? I'm diggin' this. If it were up to me, Viola Davis would win this for completely owning the entire film and only being in it for pretty much one scene. I think she has a shot, but I'm thinking this is Cruz's to lose. She won most of the precursors and I think the Academy wants to give her some love after losing for her work in Volver. As a sentimental favorite, I love Taraji P. Henson, but unfortunately for her, the nomination is the award. Amy Adams seems like she's on the Oscar short list to be nominated every year, so she'll get her due eventually. I'm not liking the lack of film clips. I understand that this method of sucking off each nominee in front of the world is a great ego boost, but I want my clips dammit!

And there we go, Penelope Cruz is your winner and I am 1 for 1. This kicks ass b/c this was the most unpredictable major category to me and that means I'm off to a roaring start. I don't have a problem with her winning b/c she was excellent in Volver and got overlooked, plus it meant that my prediction was right and who doesn't like to be right?

7:53pm CST:

Original Screenplay already? Wow, I heard they were really revamping the Oscar broadcast this year, but I didn't expect this much change. It's not bad, I kinda dig it. I think this is Milk's to lose as I think it's a film that Hollywood will want to reward somehow. And there ya go, right again, I'm 2 for 2. I would have gone with the criminally underrated In Bruges or Wall-E.

I love Hollywood political grandstanding, it's awesomely stupid. Now time for Adapted Screenplay, somebody better fire up that Slumdog train, it's about to start chuggin'! 3 for 3 now as Slumdog takes it down. I probably would have given it to Frost/Nixon, but this is Slumdog's night and it shall slay all in its path. I don't mind, it's a very good film. This whole operation is fucked since the two best films of the year got minimal love. What are these two films you speak of, Jeff? Well, I'll tell you grasshopper. They are none other than The Dark Knight and The Wrestler.

I love Jack Black, he still knows how to bring it. Speaking of animation, with the exception of Pixar's usual output of genius, the overall landscape has become over-saturated. It's like every fucking weekend, we have some new animal that's gonna talk and fly and learn life lessons. Also, I should mention that Animated Feature is the most guaranteed, surefire, bet your firstborn on it lock of the night with Wall-E. And what do ya know, Joe, we have a winner. 4 for 4 now. I am kicking ass. If Benji Button gets the technical love I think it will, you can all buy me drinks and take me out as my Oscar score will be through the roof. I'll let you make eye contact.

Most who have read my blogs in the past know this, but I'll go ahead and let everyone know I don't predict the shorts. Predicting the shorts is like betting on an Appalachian State vs. Florida A&M Tuesday night ESPN college football game...it's only for losers and degenerates. Just for grins, gotta love how the Petit Cubes movie won for Best Animated Short. The clip was a guy laying brick (or I guess, cubes). Talk about an action-packed thrill ride! Then the guy who made it accepts the award and manages to speak entire sentences at the exact same decibel level! No higher or lower. He seems like fun, I want to go to Vegas with him.

8:13pm CST:

Art Direction. Uh Ohhhhh! Looks like my Benji Button technical award prognostication is off to a roaring start! 5 for 5 now. Dammit, why oh why, did I not enter that "Beat Roger Ebert" contest? I've been looking to whoop his ass for a long time now. Anyone know what Art Direction actually is? I didn't think so. For the record, I know it got a bit of a tepid reception, but I thought Ben Button was very good. I felt that the first half was stronger than the second half, but overall, very good. David Fincher always comes through and watching his evolution from kinetic, intense filmmaker to thoughtful, deliberate filmmaker has been fascinating.

Costume Design. I am owning this show. 6 for 6 as The Duchess takes it down like John Malkovich in Rounders. Little Oscar tip I've learned over the years...if it's Costume Design and there's a period piece involved, even a little seen one like The Duchess, bet the house on it. People are dumb. They see big frilly costumes and they put a check mark next to it, it's that simple. No one ever said Hollywood was smart.

Best Makeup. The Benji Button technicial award pain train keeps gaining momentum. 7 for 7 now.

A montage dedicated to romance? Wow.

At least they showed clips from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Almost makes it all worth it.

Ben Stiller is a funny guy, but this Joaquin Phoenix bit was done last night at the Independent Spirit Awards. Nice try, Ben! Is Natalie Portman still 12 years old? Also, the first drink has been poured!

Cinematography. This is an interesting category as it directly pits Ben Button against Slumdog. Even The Dark Knight could be a sleeper, but if I'm right about Ben Button and it's technical adoration, this will be the tell-tale category, I think. Well there we go as Slumdog takes it. This should be a sign to all that if you didn't believe it before, believe it now b/c Slumdog is going to destroy everything in its path tonight. I'm now 7 for 8.

I have to take issue with this win too. Maybe I'm beginning to feel some of that Slumdog backlash I've been hearing so much about? I don't know. But it's almost like they were thinking about cinematography, they saw Slumdog, and they were like "Oh, India! It must be great cinematography!" Whereas like every David Fincher film, Ben Button was a dynamic piece of work with phenomenal technical acumen. Bleh. Or maybe I'm just bitter b/c my attempt at perfection was thwarted.

8:45pm CST:

The Judd Apatow-Pineapple Express short film was just what the doctor ordered. If only the rest of this shit was as funny. Speaking of, James Franco's performance in PE should not be overlooked. Doing good comedy is not easy and he aced it.

Don't say I didn't warn you. Hugh Jackman = Mr. Tony = way too much singing and dancing.

Jesus christtttttttttt, when will it endddddddddddd??????

I just heard them say "motion of the ocean" as one of the lines in the song. Wow.

I won't lie. I make fun of the montages, but a sick, filthy, disgusting part of me actually derives some enjoyment from them. It's almost like watching an old sports reel on ESPN, reliving classic moments in the medium. It's difficult not to enjoy something like that on at least a minor level.

And here we go with Supporting Actor. Get ready, Ledger family. I love how they bring out 5 past best supporting actors from years past with icons like Alan Arkin and Christopher Walken...oh, and of course, Cuba Gooding, Jr. The acclaimed star of Boat Trip. It still breaks my heart to think that Heath Ledger is gone and Freddie Prinze, Jr. is still roaming this planet and poisoning celluloid at every turn. As my main man Billy Joel once said, "Only the good die young". The worst part was that he was really hitting his stride, at least this will be a fitting tribute to him.

I love that Cuba is the one presenting Robert Downey Jr's nomination...he's the "safest" black guy they could find. Good times all around. Although I have yet to see Revolutionary Road, Michael Shannon will always have a special place in my heart for his kickass/disgusting work in Bug.

And there we have it as Heath Ledger takes it. 8 for 9 now. Is it just me or does everyone look like they're going to cry? This is the saddest damn thing. And don't even get me started on the fact that he should have won for Brokeback Mountain, but we don't speak of that year and the curse/famine it has wreaked upon our once great lands.

Ok, that was depressing as hell. Time for Man on Wire to win and have that nut Philippe Petit cheer us all up! I liked MOW, but I didn't love it. I'm actually surprised it is as universally loved as it is. Either way, I don't mind it winning Best Doc, assuming it does.

Good first line from Bill Maher, "Great, everyone's crying and I get to go on!". Reminds me of a classic C-81 show where we were invited to play a show, not realizing it was a memorial service for a dead teenage girl...after everyone watched sad videos and told of their favorite memories, we had to go on stage and play. It was awesome. But, I digress.

There we go, Man on Wire takes Best Doc. 9 for 10 now. Get up there Philippe!!! This man MUST SPEAK. There he goes. Of course that fool does a fucking magic trick, followed by balancing the Oscar on his face, god bless that man!

9:20pm CST:

An Action of 2008 montage? But of course, Academy.

It was actually a pretty good year for action/adventure movies, esp. considering if I can get one good one per year, then I'm happy. But this year, we had Iron Man, Wanted, The Incredible Hulk, The Dark Knight and even the new Indiana Jones, which really wasn't bad, it was just a classic example of a film crumbling in the public eye due to colossal/unreasonable expectations. C'mon folks, be realistic/reasonable!

Good recovery for Benji Button as it takes Visual Effects, 10 for 11 now. It makes sense, the entire film centered around one remarkable special effect. Even so, while I agree with the decision, it also reflects the fact that the Academy is a loonnggggg way from taking a comic book film seriously.

Best Sound Editing goes to The Dark Knight, back to kicking ass at 11 for 12 now. This is about as legit as The Dark Knight is going to be as far as Father Oscar is concerned. I think it'll be this year's The Bourne Ultimatum/The Matrix. A film that gets nothing significant, but a host of minor technical awards like the aforementioned Sound Editing award.

Ok, so let me get this straight. TDK wins Sound Editing, but freaking Slumdog gets Sound Mixing?! Whatever. 11 for 13. And someone tell this dude to get ahold of himself, it's an Academy Award for Sound Mixing that is clearly a case of coattailing on the part of Slumdog as it appears this movie is going to destroy everyone's face tonight. Haha, I love how he spent his whole speech trying not to faint like a 12 year old girl at a Backstreet Boys concert and as a result, the other two guys didn't get to say anything. What an egomaniac. I think I may end up hating Slumdog by the end of the night. Backlash in full effect!

Best Editing was easy. Another rule of thumb, culled from Jeff's Encyclopedia of Oscar Knowledge and How to Win Your Office Oscar Pool, anytime you have a film like Slumdog that is steamrolling to victory, it will have editing in the bag. Book it. 12 for 14 now. I only got 12 right TOTAL in each of the past two years, so that gives you an idea of how I'm performing this year. Who wants to touch me?

9:46pm CST:

Lifetime Achievement award for Jerry Lewis. *birds chirping*

Anyway, moving on...Best Score SHOULD go to Ben Button, but it won't. Which is too bad because it's a great score. It'll surely go to Slumdog because it's Indian-influenced which makes the Academy appear more culturally hip/sensitive, so that white guilt will drive it. I love the Oscars, but boy do I hate the politics. Go with what deserves to win you ass clowns. Wishful thinking, I know. I do like this way of presenting each nomination, one of the few presentations that has been an improvement over past telecasts. Otherwise, I like to stick with the old school formula as far as how the Oscars run.

Did Alicia Keys put on a plastic face? I'm serious, that thing isn't moving.

Of course, freaking Slumdog. 13 for 15. At least I knew to expect it.

I must say that the Oscars is a lot less fun when you don't have a film to really get behind. The two best films weren't even nominated for Best Picture and most of the awards were easy to call (or so I believed and it looks like I was right), so there's no suspense and no one to really root for. I guess I got spoiled by last year when we had two bona fide American masterpieces with No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood getting lots of love. Now, it just feels like going through the motions. At least they condensed these three shitty songs into one little medley. Get ready for another Slumdog lovefest, by the way.

I guess I'm just not impressed by masses of people dancing. It has never done anything for me. My first thought is always, wow you put a lot of effort into something that I don't give a shit about (esp. since ya know, it's all about me). Also, let me say that the fact that the Boss' "The Wrestler" was ineligible for Best Song is a crock of shit. It's a great song and fits the film better than any of these pieces of crap. BTW, what did I tell you? Slumdog again for Jai Hooooooooooooooo. 14 for 16 now. I wonder who is going to win best picture? Seriously, I have no clue.

10:06pm CST:

Whoa. Ok, NO ONE saw that one coming. It was a two horse race all the way between The Class and Waltz with Bashir for Best Foreign Film and lo and behold, Departures from Japan takes it, very underdog of them. 14 for 17.

I don't have a problem with this upset b/c Best Foreign Film is one of the few categories where everyone who votes has to have watched all the nominees so at least you feel like you're getting a more honest winner. BTW, that was a sweet acceptance speech. One day when I win my lifetime achievement award for being awesome, I'm gonna say the same thing, "I'm berry berry happy!". The end.

Ah yes, the classic Dead People Montage. I wish they did these in order of importance or most popular, that'd piss a lot of people off. Roy Scheider died? I had no idear. Oh Ricardo Montalban, we hardly knew ye. Stan Winston died too?! Damn I'm out of the loop. Anthony Minghella dying was a definite tragedy. He still had good stuff in him. And don't get me started on Paul Newman...that right there is fucking depressing. If you haven't, watched Paul Newman's films from the 60s and 70s, that is greatness in action.

Wow, Best Director is being presented early, that's weird. Anyone wanna guess this one? C'mon, give it a whirl. Man, one day, David Fincher needs to win Best Director. THAT would be a sweet surprise. Fucking shocker, Danny Boyle takes it. 15 for 18.

I won't lie, I am having a severe case of Slumdog-backlash-itis. But don't let that fool you, it is a very good movie and Danny Boyle, while I wouldn't consider him an elite director, he is ambitious and takes chances, so at least he's interesting. All things considered, I should be proud of the Academy for propelling a film like Slumdog to sweep the awards it has, I mean, it's not exactly the stereotypical Oscar bait. I guess my overall lack of enthusiasm has more to do with what a boring year it was for film and for the fact that The Dark Knight and The Wrestler didn't get their proper due. I think if Mickey Rourke wins and gives a speech that is anything remotely close to what he did at the ISAs, I'll be happy. Even so, if Sean Penn wins, at least there's a good chance he'll say something art-fagulous and pissy...gotta love these temperamental, artistic types!

10:26pm CST:

Best Actress is an interesting race, but given that we have this new method of propping up Hollywood millionaires for announcing nominees this year, we should see a lot of cry babies. Should be a blast.

That being said, I don't think I'd be upset with any of the nominees winning. They're all spectacular. Quick sidenote, WOW Sophia Loren! I always thought she was staving off old age pretty well, but I guess she has finally gotten over the hill. She apparently fell asleep at a Darque Tan for 8 weeks and then had a vile of botox injected everywhere. Yikes.

Kate Winslet takes it, long overdue. She's only one of the best actresses on the planet, it's never too late, Academy! 16 for 19.

While I'm not crazy about The Reader as a film, Kate Winslet was terrific even if it really was a supporting performance, not a lead. But who gives a shit, Winslet is finally getting her due. Unfortunate the Academy works like this, but it does, so get over it.

10:35pm CST:

Good representation for the Best Actor clan. Adrien Brody's surprise win for The Pianist is still one of my all-time favorite Oscar moments. I also must point out that Richard Jenkins and Frank Langella getting recognized for their great work is well-deserved. As cheesy as it sounds, this is one of those rare occasions where every nominee deserves it so much, that it's a shame there has to be a winner. That being said, take it down, Mickey! You're my boy blue!

I had a feeling this would happen. There's a lot of talk that Sean Penn is not beloved around Hollywood, but I don't think that's true. He clearly has the ultimate respect of his peers and deservedly so, he's spectacular. And he was great in Milk. However, I just really wanted Mickey to win this one. How poignant and wonderful would that have been? BTW, 16 for 20 now.

17 for 21 is how I finish as Slumdog completes its domination. Closing thoughts forthcoming.

11:28pm CST:

So I finish the evening with my best percentage in ages, but there was an absence of enthusiasm and excitement this time around. I can't place my finger on it other than the fact that my two favorite films of the year weren't up for the big prize and Mickey Rourke losing out to Sean Penn cast a little bit of a pall over the evening for me as ol' Mick was the only guy I was really rooting for in this entire production. I still love this time of year and while it left a lot to be desired as far as the quality of what was being represented, I still derive plenty of enjoyment out of this whole shindig. As far as the new format of the show, I still prefer the old way of doing things, i.e. showing film clips of performances instead of having 5 past winners come out and perform oral sex on each of the current nominees just didn't do much for me. One of my favorite things to do is watch award-worthy films and try to figure out which scene will be the "Oscar clip" scene and this year, I didn't get that type of fulfillment. Finally, I still think they should get a funnier, more dynamic host. Nothing against Hugh Jackman, but while he's not in Ellen Degeneres/Whoopi Goldberg territory, he was also very bland and forgettable. I had no problems with Jon Stewart, keep him coming back.

Stupid Sexy Flanders...

2009-02-16T23:11:00.008-06:00

Before the Oscars descend upon us in all their glory this weekend, I thought it'd be nice to throw out some diversions I found entertaining/amusing/whatever. After all, the internet is a wild, wonderful place and frankly, I just felt inclined to do so. In advance, you're welcome.

- What makes more sense than a LOST drinking game? If you answered, "Nothing on this god-forsaken planet", then you are correct. Coming soon, a Mad Men drinking game where you take a drink every time someone on the show drinks (oh sweet irony!), smokes, or says something offensive and un-p.c., the last man standing by the first commercial break deserves to be crowned king and hoisted upon shoulders.

- Do you also find Amy Winehouse disgusting and repugnant? Then get ready to drink in an eyeful of this. Something about juxtaposing a fiend like Winehouse next to a woman so affectionately referred to as "Meatwad disguised as a blueberry" really makes me laugh. I guess it also helps to know the background of someone like Winehouse who is ALWAYS being caught on camera doing crap like this (and always topless...*shudder*), so it makes sense to see her playing drunk naked Scrabble. Just another day in the life for ol' A-Wine.

- I know "Sugalumps" has been the big, trendy superhit for Flight of the Conchords this season, but I thought their latest dance-flavored masterpiece from this past Sunday's episode was even better. Affectionately titled, "Too Many Dicks".

- I'm not the biggest Tarantino fan you'll ever meet. He's made some excellent films (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction) and some not so excellent films (Kill Bill Vol. 1, Death Proof), but holy shit does Inglourious Basterds (yes, that is the proper spelling) look kickass. If you're about ready to vomit from having to watch another generic war movie like I am, I have a hunch that Mr. Tarantino isn't looking to make We Were Soldiers Part 2.

- Limp Bizkit AND Blink 182 are back together?! Could this be the greatest year in music history? I think so.

- On a less sarcastic note, Green Day has a new album coming out in May. It's been almost five years since American Idiot so you can probably count on May as being the month that you get your ass rocked.

- Oh, almost forgot! Superdrag has a new album coming out on St. Patty's Day, so those two cancel out Blink 182 and Limp Bizkit reuniting (I think). Whew, I was worried for a second.

- I don't know what it is about the exchange of, "So you're in The Day The Earth Stood Still?" "Yes" "Why?" that makes me laugh so hard (what can I say? I like simple). More from between two ferns...

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

I'll be back later this week with Oscar predictions and of course Oscar Sunday, only the greatest day of the year.

TV Sure Kicks Ass Now

2009-02-04T00:52:00.003-06:00

I know this is primarily a cinema-oriented blog, but since television has become an extension of what we expect from film, I felt that it wouldn't be entirely inappropriate to talk a little bit about the ol' picture box. Plus, the Oscars aren't here just yet, so we've still got time. We should all feel quite privileged because as much fun as it is to whine about any and every topic imaginable (the economy, stupid people, politics, nickelback, local sports teams, traffic, summer blockbusters...ok maybe we do have a lot to justifiably complain about), we can still take solace in the fact that we find ourselves smack-dab in the middle of television's Golden Age. Perhaps, it's debatable as to whether or not we're at its peak, but there's no doubt that the level and accessibility of great television is available to anyone that chooses to take advantage of such earthly pleasures. I'm sure there are plenty of nostalgia buffs who somehow, some way believe that TV was so much better when we could ride the wave of such classics as 21 Jump Street, Falcon Crest, Blossom, Alf, and other such wondrous artistic achievements, but those people would be wrong. Not in a "Oh well, it's just my opinion" kinda wrong, but as in "empirical/scientific data can support this" kinda wrong. However, the good news is that it's never too late for anyone. The advent of DVD collections is a gift for humanity entire! And since we're in the midst of the winter/spring TV season, I'd like to take a look at the shows that I'm currently watching and do a little run-down of each one:

Big Love - Very few shows produce at such a consistently high-quality clip as this one. And by very few, I mean the best of the best like Lost and Mad Men. While B.L. is not quite up to the level of those two shows, it's still better than most and features a narrative with good momentum as well as a fearlessness in asking tough questions about love, marriage, and overall morality. While Bill Paxton may be the "featured actor", it's the 3 women (Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny, and Ginnifer Goodwin) that elevate B.L. above most with not only their performances, but also the depth and complexity of their characters. So far, season 3 has been fantastic and maybe the strongest yet (it's definitely the strongest first 3 episodes they've had), but as with any long arc, we'll have to see how it develops.

Flight of the Conchords - It's no secret that I found the first season to be one of the funniest things to hit TV screens (along with The Office) since Chappelle Show. As a result, a let down was to be expected with their long-awaited second season, but even after viewing the first 3 episodes, I feel that the quality is on par with the first season, but that FotC is simply a show that suffers from a lot of hype. It's a low-key show with low-key humor that doesn't need huge comedic set pieces to elicit laughs so when a huge audience watches with baited breath expecting fireworks, it just won't work that way. All that being said, I've been quite pleased with the season so far and I'm confident that as it continues to hit its stride, it should only get better or at least maintain. It's also worth mentioning that FotC is a show that greatly benefits from multiple viewings (or at least the first season did), so that always must be taken into consideration.

United States of Tara - Only 4 episodes in on the latest from Juno scribe, Diablo Cody and superhero filmmaker, Steven Spielberg. So far, I'd give it a B-minus, but with promise. The first couple of episodes were very funny (as is the show in its entirety), but gimmicky in that you could tell they were designed to suck viewers in (which is fine by me). Since the show is not marketing itself as a straight up comedy, this won't suffice. Thus far, the dramatic elements have been handled unevenly. The ace in the hole for the show is that it has two remarkable talents in Toni Collette (duh) and Rosemary Dewitt at its disposal so in all likelihood, the success of the show will rely heavily on well the writers/directors/producers utilize these talents. Another bothersome element is the unbelievably understanding, flawless wisdom of the two parental figures that Cody has created (both in this and Juno). I have two awesome parents and even they acted like parents at some point during my youth. Diablo Cody would have you believe that parents are just bowling buddies you have to hang out with a lot...have you ever been a teenager?

LOST - I have an ongoing pseudo-joke that depending on which show is currently airing their new season, that particular show is my favorite on television, always alternating between this and Mad Men. So far so good for my boys Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. Excellent freaking momentum and of course, more twists and turns that make my soft head bleed with excitement and pathetic giddiness after every episode. What I love is that Lindelof and Cuse have said in interviews prior to this season that they have no desire whatsoever to make the show accessible to anyone who hasn't seen it (which for anyone that has watched it in its entirety, this has been a given since the beginning of season 2), which is just awesome for writers/producers of a major network tentpole hit to blatantly admit. It means that their only goal is to make the show everything it can be without worrying about all the poor dumbshits that never bothered to watch that "island show". Your life is empty, not mine. Have fun.

The Office - Still the best comedy on television. Up there with The Simpsons and Seinfeld in the annals of great comedy (of any medium). This season is no different. I still laugh my ass off every episode. The way they have managed to flesh out the supporting characters is probably what puts this show over the top. Everyone knows that Michael and Dwight are beyond awesome, but giving more screen time to characters like Creed, Kevin, Stanley, Andy, Oscar, and Angela on a consistent basis was a genius stroke not seen before in television comedies and now we're seeing other shows follow suit (30 Rock and Flight of the Conchords) that are reaping the benefits. Also, while I generally can't stand any form of sentimentality or drama in sitcoms (in fact, Seinfeld had a specific rule of never having characters hug or anyone learning any lessons...EVER), I will say that The Office handles it about as deftly as possible. It never gets cloying or maudlin, it's always earned and heartfelt...a feat that is much easier said than done.

- My latest project has been 30 Rock and I'm about 4 episodes away from being caught up, which explains its exclusion from this list.

- Also, No Reservations with my boy, Anthony Bourdain is not getting ignored, his excellence is just assumed. It's the perfect show for poor folks like me who can't travel or do anything culturally cool. Quick warning to those who haven't watched it: Don't watch it on an empty stomach, you'll end up trying to emulate the show by buying a bunch of crap at the grocery story to make one specific dish and then be left over with a bunch of shit that you'll never eat again. It's an expensive/gross lesson to learn.

- Patiently awaiting the return of Breaking Bad.

- Matthew Weiner is back on with Mad Men? Thank christ. If they would have let him go, they may as well have let Don Draper go and made it the Pete Campbell show. THEN watch those Emmys roll in, AMC!

- I'm excited to see how the audience for The Sons of Anarchy will grow this season as more people find out about this hidden gem. Catch the first season as soon as it comes out on DVD, you won't be disappointed. In the midst of a TV season involving Dexter, Mad Men, True Blood, and Entourage, ol' SamCrow managed to stand out as a show that I looked forward to watching as much as anything else week after week. FX rocks.

- Speaking of Dexter, pick up your fucking game. I wasn't disappointed by the latest season, in fact I may have been one of the few apologists on its behalf, but I still fear that it may be slipping into too much of a routine. While still fascinating, the end is never in doubt. Put a little Sopranos in your diet and inject some uncertainty into the proceedings. Make us squirm, make us uncomfortable. You have two more years guaranteed, don't wrap everything up into a nice neat little package every time.

Top Ten of 2007

2008-07-16T09:29:00.010-05:00

Posthumous Note from the Writer: The date states that this was published in July, but in reality I wrote a lot of this back then, but just got preoccupied with other things so I haven't finished until now on January 15, 2009 (how pathetic). However, I promise that this blog will actually get updated on some sort of consistent basis from here on out. After all, the Oscars are right around the corner! Time to sharpen the skills.

In all reality, I probably could have completed this list a couple of months ago, but I lagged on a handful of movies so it prevented me from being able to continue my trend of improved turnaround time on my Top Ten each year. I blame those handful of films on my delay, but in all likelihood, the odds of any one of those influencing my top ten were remote at best, so it's probably just my way of justifying my laziness to myself. Plus, no one reads this, it's mainly for posterity, so who gives a shit?

Midway through 2007, I remember reading here and there from various film critics/commentators what a strong year we were having and I couldn't help, but have visions of Transformers and Pirates of the Caribbean Part 12: Longest Title & Most Convoluted Storyline For A Blockbuster Of All Time dancing in my head and think...are you serious? Turns out, they were right. Better to finish strong than start strong I always say. Aside from helping me produce one of the most solid Top Tens in years (from top to bottom), I was mainly struck by the sheer power of many films that 2007 had to offer. Every year, there will be plenty of really good films and maybe 2-3 that are clearly a cut above everything else, but aside from the usual representation of exceptional films, what makes 2007's crop unique is that many made their own mark, they were distinct. Anyway, on with the show...

10) Gone Baby Gone - On the surface, a whodunit crime thriller set in the oh-so-exotic locale of Boston's Dorchester (and no, I'm not being facetious) doesn't seem like the most auspicious ground for Ben Affleck to make his directorial debut, but apparently he had murkier waters for us to wade in. Of course a solid ensemble cast and an excellent script don't hurt his cause, but the real meat and potatoes of Affleck's first film resides in the moral conundrum he throws the audience into. Never shying away from the grays, Affleck performs a commendable balancing act with all sides of a complicated coin. If only Ashley Judd movies were this fascinating...Bug excluded of course.

9) Hot Fuzz - Like any other red, white, and blue-blooded American, you probably have a warped part of your brain that can't help but quiver with excitement when Point Break or any Governator classic comes on during a UPN Saturday afternoon action movie marathon. The great thing about Hot Fuzz (at least in part) is that it realizes there's a larger demographic that would enjoy this form of tribute/parody than most people would care to think about. Simon Pegg and co. simultaneously weave action movie parody with shockingly effective dramatic and action sequences delivering on the potential and promise displayed by their previous effort, Shaun of the Dead. Finally, an affectionate tribute to the ridiculous, kickass action films of the 80s and early 90s that pokes fun without condescending to its material or audience. A much more difficult feat than it sounds.

8) Superbad - According to writers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, they wanted to write a teen comedy that actually reflected the way real teens actually talk and act. I'm not sure if they're dead-on accurate, but they're a lot closer to the mark than a dirty old man like Larry Clark (who likes to envision all teens as fulfilling all of his demented fuck dreams, but I digress...) or any other generic high school movie generated by the American Pie-influenced teen comedy factory. In the end, we ended up with the funniest movie of the year, by far. Even for those who weren't crazy about it, Jonah Hill's silver-tongued perversion is a sight to behold. Talk about a teenager who has mastered the art of witty dick jokes.

7) Once - I'll admit that sitting down to watch a film described as a modern day musical shot guerilla-style on the streets of Dublin with amateur actors didn't make me exactly wet my pants in anticipation, but it's yet another testament to the beauty of movies. You buy the ticket, take the ride, and once in a great while, you will be surprised and hopefully blown away. Enter a little film called Once. Now I ask this: what are the necessary elements for a musical/romance to be effective? Likeable leads worth giving a shit about...check. Palpable chemistry between aforementioned leads...check. Fantastic music...check. Of course, other things go into making a film a cut above the rest, but without having these three factors in spades, the whole operation comes crashing down. If you're not moved by this film, you don't have a soul. No pressure though.

6) Juno - People can bitch all they want that the dialogue was "unrealistic" and not the way those damn kids speak these days, but who freaking cares? If you don't appreciate the actual character of Juno and all of her idiosyncrasies, then this movie isn't for you. Furthermore, if you don't appreciate the performance of Ellen Page, then I suggest you thoroughly pull your head out of your ass b/c this is the kind of charismatic stuff that drives excellent filmmaking. Oh and it doesn't hurt that the film itself is moving, witty, and absolutely hilarious.

5) The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford -A thoroughly engrossing exploration of hero-worship wrapped inside a rousing yet contemplative veneer of Western mythologizing. If only other genres of filmmaking would realize that fascinating character studies can be done within well-established stereotypes and conventions. From the mercurial nature of Brad Pitt's Jesse James to the alternately creepy, pathetic, and sympathetic Robert Ford (flawlessly executed by Casey Affleck), Andrew Dominik's film never ceases to by turns fascinate and provoke. Coming soon to a theater near you: an examination of Sylvester Stallone's Oedipus complex in Cobra.

4) Zodiac - For my money, David Fincher is one of our most reliable working American filmmakers. A quick look back, in order: Seven, The Game, Fight Club, Panic Room and now Zodiac. Everything about this film is note-perfect as it is arguably Fincher's most mature, sure-handed film to date. The set and costume design are especially impressive, but mostly, it's the methodical nature with which Fincher's film investigates everything surrounding the Zodiac murders including the cases themselves. Compound that with the characters' collective obsession with solving these murders and it's easy to see why Fincher is such a rare talent. His ability to mix heady material with his ridiculous talent for aesthetic is lethal.

3) The Lives of Others - So let me get this straight: It's 1984. East Berlin. The secret police puts anyone who sneezes near them under heavy surveillance. Perhaps, there are echoes of certain governmental policies we may have heard of here in America? I don't know, that sounds like a bit much. Anyway, what a slow, wonderful burn this one is. One day, Hollywood will understand that the best thrillers MUST have characters worth caring about and the story needs to evolve slowly, but surely in order to ya know, actually build suspense. Needless to say, The Lives of Others has all of these things in spades. Be sure to pour a little out for my main man, Ulrich Muhe, who gives a stellar performance by the way.

1a) No Country For Old Men - The Coen brothers may be the most dynamic filmmaking duo ever. I don't know how many filmmaking duos have actually come through the pipeline, but the point is these guys can do pretty much anything and do it extremely well. NCFOM shook me to the core. Not only was it a fantastic genre piece featuring an iconic turn from Javier Bardem and understated (and underrated, really) work from both Tommy Lee Jones and Josh Brolin, but it was also a depressing thesis on evil, humanity, and the complete and utter chaos of this little world we live in. In other words, this film was speaking my language. If you think it ended abruptly, then accept that you don't get it and that this movie isn't for you. I'm tired of moviegoers assuming the filmmaker screwed up when they clearly don't understand something. Go watch a Brett Ratner movie and leave the thinkin' stuff to the grownups. Thanks.

1b) There Will Be Blood - In reality, this was a tie for number one. I've never had a top two come this close to each other in terms of quality, so it's ironic that TWBB serves as a great companion piece to NCFOM. NCFOM explores the idea of evil as an abstract concept that will never dissipate while TWBB explores the inherent darkness that resides in humanity. Similar to how HBO's Deadwood explored the origins of civilization in the good ol' U.S. of A., Paul Thomas Anderson's TWBB treads the same ground by examining a solid foundation upon which the American Dream rests. Nothin' but the essentials: greed, murder, hubris, insanity. Yep, 2007 was a feel-good type of year and I couldn't be happier about it.

Runners-Up: Atonement, Away From Her, Into the Wild, The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, The Kite Runner, Lust Caution, The Namesake, Rocket Science, Starting Out in the Evening, Sunshine
Writer's Note: The fact that terrific films like The Namesake, Rocket Science, Into the Wild (err...pretty much all of the aforementioned "Runners-Up") are not in my top ten speaks to how strong a year it was and especially how strong my top ten is.

Individual Awards:
Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood: Was there ever really any doubt? Day-Lewis is a freakin' dynamo. Raise your hand if you couldn't stop quoting Daniel Plainview for weeks after you saw this. TWBB is entirely dependent on Day-Lewis carrying the picture for every frame and not only does he do that, he manages to be one of the biggest reasons that TWBB should already be regarded as an American classic.
Runners-Up: Ulrich Muhe - The Lives of Others, Frank Langella - Starting Out in the Evening, Ryan Gosling - Lars and the Real Girl, Gordon Pinsent - Away From Her, Casey Affleck - Gone Baby Gone

Best Actress: Ellen Page - Juno: I'll just go ahead and say it to get it out of the way, I freakin' love Ellen Page. Her performance reminds me of why I love film so much. She does something that can't be overlooked and that is she makes Diablo Cody's dialogue feel natural and unforced. She's hilarious and vulnerable and genuine...she's the kind of girl you had a crush on in high school. Similar to how TWBB was dependent upon Day-Lewis' performance, so it goes for Juno and Ellen Page. She succeeded.
Runners-Up: Julie Christie - Away From Her, Tabu - The Namesake, Keri Russell - Waitress, Tang Wei - Lust, Caution, Ashley Judd - Bug

Best Supporting Actor: Casey Affleck - The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford: I realize the trendy choice was Javier Bardem and I'm fine with that, but for my money, Affleck had the much more layered, complex performance. His Robert Ford is by turns maddening, repulsive, pathetic, but always sympathetic. How he manages to maintain a connection with the audience while not being especially likable is quite a feat. Talk about exploding onto the scene this year, Affleck's work in both this film and Gone Baby Gone should have both Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ryan Gosling looking over their shoulders as they may have some competition for most interesting/promising young actor.
Runners-Up: Javier Bardem - No Country For Old Men, Ed Harris - Gone Baby Gone, Hal Holbrook - Into the Wild, Philip Seymour Hoffman - Charlie Wilson's War

Best Supporting Actress: Romola Garai - Atonement: Given the structure of Atonement and how the character of Briony is portrayed by three different actresses, it is that much more difficult to make a mark. Yet Garai definitely makes the most of her screen time as the 18 year old version of Briony. During the most heart-wrenching scene of the film, Garai displays a remarkable range of emotion as someone who is torn apart by true regret and wears the emotional toll it has taken like a badge of shame.
Runners-Up: Leslie Mann - Knocked Up, Amy Ryan - Gone Baby Gone, Jennifer Garner - Juno, Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton, Lili Taylor - Starting Out in the Evening, Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There

Other Miscellaneous Awards (or lack thereof):
Worst Film of the Year: This is always one of my favorite categories to consider because when you've suffered through a genuine piece of horseshit, it's nice to be rewarded for your sacrifice by being able to rail against the aforementioned horseshit. Ahhhh, so many worthy contenders:

- We had Michael Bay's latest crime against humanity in Transformers (but that did give us Megan Fox).

- We had the latest comic book atrocity in Ghost Rider challenging the Fantastic Four franchise (of which we got the long anticipated sequel, just as awesome as the first one) to a duel of suck.

- We had yet another chapter in Adam Sandler's determination to become completely and utterly obsolete in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, but hey, at least I learned not to be homophobic. Adam Sandler is more like a modern day Jesus as he not only entertains us, but he also teaches us life lessons. I'm so grateful.

- Pirates of the Caribbean finally completed their joke of a trilogy in smashing style by creating a film that made absolutely no fucking sense, but at least it was only 8 hours long. If we all cross our fingers and say our prayers before bed every night, maybe, just maybe, Disney will be so kind as to reward our due diligence with another holy trilogy. This time, they should find a way to include Paul Wall and Freddie Prinze Jr as featured characters along with a soundtrack by Nickelback.

- As much fun as all of the above were to sit through, only one can be king. I remember once I finished this particular film, I literally said out loud (I was by myself too): "This is the worst film of the year". I knew that no matter what else I saw, I had that no doubt about it slam dunk. I'm speaking of none other than Richard Kelly's Southland Tales. Now, I know a cast featuring the likes of Sarah Michelle Gellar, The Rock, and Justin Timberlake puts any film on a collision course with greatness, but shockingly, this was one big incoherent mess. It was unbelievably long, had no continuity whatsoever, abysmal acting (what a shock), and was ultimately a gargantuan waste of money, time, celluloid, and brain cells. I'm not worried though. Richard Kelly is a young guy. He had a very good debute in Donnie Darko and wanted to aim for the stars with his follow-up, I can respect that. Better to swing for the fences and strike out than to not even bother. He'll be fine, but in the meantime, he can rest easy at night knowing he pissed off a lot of people and has a room full of Razzies waiting for him.

Most Underrated/Underappreciated Film of the Year:
I think Zodiac has a good case for this, but it was already my number 4 movie of the year, so we gotta go with something different. How about Eagle vs. Shark? This brilliant little New Zealand rom-com featured the now famous Jemaine Clement (of Flight of the Conchords fame) and Loren Horsley (who also wrote the film) as awkward lovers. From Jemanie's gloriously flowing mullet to Loren's impeccable people skills, there is plenty of comedy in the mix here, but the surprising element was how sweet and palpable the romance is. Think Napoleon Dynamite crossed with When Harry Met Sally.

Best Fight Scene in a Long While:
The Bourne Ultimatum - Bourne's fight scene with a rival agent is one of those "I didn't realize I wasn't breathing the entire time" kinda scenes. It's that badass.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x45pp8_bourne-ultimatum-fight-scene_shortfilms

Most Mind-Numbingly Boring Dialogue Scenes:
Death Proof - We get it, Quentin. You love dialogue. But here's the thing, you have to have your characters actually talk about something worthwhile, meaningful, or at least entertaining. Why, you ask? Well because your movie-going audience has conversations every day. Most of them are stultifyingly boring and we don't wish to relive them, especially at 10 bucks a pop. Stick to witty anecdotes and slick exchanges dissecting pop culture phenomena and we'll all get along just fine.

Best Line of the Year:
Shoot 'Em Up - "Eat your vegetables."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_iBM85h2PI

You're welcome.

Person I'm Most Likely to Punch in the Neck Should We Ever Cross Paths:
Billy Mitchell of The King of Kong fame. If you've seen the film, you've never agreed with me more in your life. I won't mind taking one of those sweet American flag ties from him either.

Best "Not Good" Film of the Year:
Across the Universe - This is not a good movie. Sure, it looks great, but it's poorly acted, directed, and seems to have been written with the aid of "How to Write a Screenplay Overflowing with Cliches for Dummies". All that being said, I love this movie. I also love the Beatles. Perhaps that explains it. It's also one of those movies I would want no one to witness me actually watch it because they would be treated to a sing-a-long the likes of which have not been seen since teenage girls at a baller-ass NKOTB show circa 1990. Behold, the power of the Beatles, ladies and gentlemen.

The "Really Makes Me Want to Take a Shower" Award:
Bug - Watch it with someone you love.

The "Geez, Grab a Freaking Poli-Sci Textbook" Award:
Lions for Lambs - I agree with your politics, Robert Redford, but how about when you make a film, you actually make it interesting and not some polemic that summarizes how you feel about the war and the current administration? It's no big secret that Spike Lee enjoys packing his films with issues that he feels passionate about, but even he will tell you that his number one goal is to tell a good story. I believe in you, you've done it before.

Oscars 2008

2008-02-24T16:37:00.015-06:00

I can't believe that Christmas...er...the Oscars are already upon us! Many wonder why I make such a big deal out of the Academy Awards since as we all know, it's just a big dog and pony show full of politicking, schlob-nobbin', and of course, upsets and unexplainable choices no doubt fueled by labyrinthine governmental conspiracies. If all this is true, how Jeff, HOW, can you still get so excited over such an affair?! Well, it's pretty simple. As a full-blown, unapologetic cinephile, the Academy Awards is THE night for movies. Whether or not I agree with the standards or the choices is moot because for better or worse, this is the night that the whole world stops and pays attention to Hollywood's big night. It's not going to alter my perception or make me reconsider my favorite films/performances of the year, but everyone in every medium enjoys having that one culminating moment for their vice of choice. In sports, you have championships (and I guess to a lesser extent, individual player awards). In sports, I wish every Houston team (except in college football, WAR EAGLE) made it to every championship and that every Houston player won every accolade possible, but they don't and that's okay. Does that mean I don't love baseball or football? Of course not. The same logic applies for the Oscars. I enjoy reveling in all the overblown hype and self-flagellating that goes on. Some people complain that the telecast usually runs the length of The Seven Samurai, but I don't mind at all. It just gives me more time to make pithy comments and delude myself into thinking I know a thing or two. And if I can make another rum and coke while I'm at it, then who am I to complain? All that being said, it's time to post my predictions and see how I do. Last year, I underestimated the Oscar love for The Departed and overestimated the love for Babel and as a result, I only finished 12 for 21. The year before, if I had known that Memoirs of a Geisha was technically adored, I would have really cleaned up, but even then, I finished with a solid 15 for 21. That goes without mentioning the best picture abomination that was Crash that year, but let's not talk about that. This is a time for happy thoughts. On with the predictions (I don't predict the shorts...do we really need those? Oh yes we do, smoke breaks! I almost forgot.):

Best Picture: No Country for Old Men - I'd say it's almost a sure bet. No complaints here. In fact, I'm kind of excited because for once, I genuinely like all of the films nominated for Best Pic. You're all winners in your own right! But not really, NCFOM is going to be the big winner tonight.

Best Director: Joel and Ethan Coen (No Country for Old Men) - I guess Paul Thomas Anderson has a small outside shot at this, but I see no reason for the Academy to award him best director over the dynamic duo of Joel and Ethan Coen. Shockingly, the Coen Brothers have only one Oscar to their credit (screenplay for Fargo) and these long respected Hollywood mavericks will get their due. Scary to think that guys like Ron Howard and Paul Haggis have cleaned up at the Oscars while the Coen Brothers continue to churn out excellent film after excellent film while being overlooked. Tonight will be their night and rightfully so.

Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis (There Will Be Blood) - The biggest guaranteed, undeniable lock of the evening. If I'm wrong on this, you can all give me $50, deal? He deserves it. It's easily the most charismatic, complex, disturbing, dominating, whatever other adjective you wanna throw in here, performance of the year. He's going to drink everyone's milkshake. He IS the third revelation!!

Best Actress: Julie Christie (Away From Her) - Aside from possessing looks that we all hope our wives will have when they're in their late 60s, she's also damn good in this film and is my tentative prediction to win. She has won all the pre-cursors, so I expect a victory. Marion Cotillard (La Vie En Rose) has a slight outside shot, but put your money on Christie.

Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men) - I've felt this was a lock pretty much the whole time until I started hearing murmurs of some sympathy support growing for Hal Holbrook (Into the Wild). Do NOT underestimate the Academy's knack for throwing some curveballs throughout their history. It wouldn't shock me at all to see Holbrook garner a majority vote from the older-skewing Academy, but I don't expect it. I'm still going with ol' Anton Chigurh and his luscious locks. Even though in a perfect world, Casey Affleck would win for layered, emotionally rich performance in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, but that's neither here nor there.

Best Supporting Actress: Amy Ryan (Gone Baby Gone) - I don't feel good about this at all. In fact, I could see any of the nominees winning with the exception of Saoirse Ronan (Atonement). This is the biggest wild card category, not only this year, but historically. Will they wish to recognize a well-respected veteran actress as a pseudo-lifetime achievement award (Ruby Dee for American Gangster) or will they go with a young up and comer as a sort of initiation as this award been known to be in recent years (Amy Ryan)? Or they could just go with Cate Blanchett. I'll go with Ryan, but very tentatively.

Best Original Screenplay: Juno
Best Adapted Screenplay: No Country for Old Men
Best Animated Feature: Ratatouille
Best Original Score: Ratatouille
Best Original Song: Once - "Falling Slowly"
Best Editing: The Bourne Ultimatum
Best Cinematography: There Will Be Blood
Best Art Direction: There Will Be Blood
Best Costume Design: Sweeney Todd
Best Makeup: La Vie en Rose
Best Sound Mixing: Transformers
Best Sound Editing: There Will Be Blood
Best Visual Effects: Transformers
Best Foreign Film: The Counterfeiters
Best Documentary Feature: No End in Sight

So we're looking at 4 wins for NCFOM and 4 wins (more of technical nature) for TWBB. Needless to say, NCFOM looks to come away the big winner of the evening. I'm a little apprehensive that I overestimated the technical admiration for TWBB and Transformers, but this is what it's all about. I have this strange feeling that Sweeney Todd may take away some of the technical awards and that I'm underestimating it, but we'll see. See you for the telecast!

P.S. Jon Stewart, if you steal any of my material again, there will be blood (*rimshot*). I got my eyes on you, sucka.

7:32pm CST:

I thought Jon Stewart did a pretty good job last time, so I'm hoping for good stuff tonight again too. Assuming he doesn't feel the need to plagiarize my work.
"Let's take a moment to congratulate ourselves." Has there ever been a more succinct way to describe the Oscars? Good stuff.
I find Ellen Page kinda hot, is that wrong? I mean, she is 20, I think. She just looks 10, so you can't help but feel bad about it.
Ok Julie Christie vs. Helen Mirren in a battle royale for senior citizen hotness, who wins? Answer: we all do! God, I love plastic surgery.
Wow, a lawyer joke. How original.
Why does the whole world think Jack Nicholson is so cool? I mean, really? What in his body of work is so alarmingly groundbreaking that everyone just loves ol' Jack?
God I hope Diablo Cody wins b/c she looks like she could be a wild card. Since Philip Seymour Hoffman isn't going to win anything, we need someone to possibly freak out on stage, do something subversive, or at least throw out a cuss word. Something, ANYTHING!
Good monologue. Gaydolf Titler was the best joke.
See what I mean? Every year, in some bullshit category, someone unexpectedly wins. I'm 0 for 1 on costume design as Elizabeth: The Golden Age wins. Anyone see that one coming? Didn't think so. At least, my premonition about Sweeney Todd looks to be wrong, so it's not a total loss. Off to a roaring start!

7:50pm CST:

What a shock. A masturbatory, self-congratulatory montage of its own on its own telecast. And who says the Academy is losing its edge?!
Steve Carrell is awesome. He needs to be in everything. Ugh, I had to watch Surf's Up on a flight recently, this penguin crap has gone way too far. There we go, back on track. I'm 1 for 2 as Ratatouille wins Best Animated Feature. Brad Bird is a genius. What are his roots in? That's right, The Simpsons. More evidence of its endless contributions to society.
A sick side of me wants to see Norbit win for Best Makeup. It'd just be hilarious to me that the film that cleaned up at the Razzies is also an Oscar winner. No shot though as La Vie en Rose takes it. 2 for 3 now. This win keeps Cotillard's hopes alive as it proves members of the Academy actually watched it. Or maybe they just couldn't bring themselves to vote for Norbit or another one of those damn Pirates movies.
Ha ha, they are so quick on that trigger to hurry the speeches up for the unimportant people. Yeah you won for makeup, no one cares about you. You get about 5 seconds, then you're toast!
I'm a fan of Amy Adams, but if a song like this actually wins Best Song, I'm going to hunt down every member of the Academy and kick them in the balls.

8:19pm CST:

The actual quality of the film aside, Transformers did have amazing effects and looked spectacular. Okay okay, it's gonna be like that, huh Oscar? 2 for 4 now as The Golden Compass wins for Best Visual Effects. I had no idea anyone saw that movie, good for them. So this really sets everything up as truly unpredictable. No tone is being set yet. This is how the Academy is. You can look at nominees and have the most logical, obvious choice staring you in the face and out of nowhere, they will award the film that NO ONE expected.
Alright, now time for Art Direction. Does anyone know what this is or how it works? I didn't think so. I completely guessed here. Fuck! I knew I shouldn't have bet against Dante Ferretti, he only gets nominated like every freakin' year. 2 for 5 now. This night is turning out swimmingly.
Oh! "A refresher course for the history of Best Supporting Actor". Translation: Another excuse to brag about ourselves and give you another montage. I love Cuba's speech, but the best part was that one white guy in the crowd who stood before everyone else and was pumping his fist like, "HELL YEAH!!" What was that guy thinking?
If Javier Bardem doesn't win, I'm quitting. Right now. Casey Affleck deserves it, but he won't win. He is someone to watch, he keeps turning in interesting role after interesting role. Ok Bardem does win, I can continue moving forward in life. 3 for 6 now. Good for him, what a terrific actor.

8:51pm CST:

Alright, another song performance and a short film award. This is a good time to take a nice bath or take in a good book or go for a drive.
I like how they don't want anyone giving a speech for longer than 12 seconds, but let's make sure we have 30 pointless montages b/c that's really important.
Okay, here's my big wild card category. It's going to be Ruby Dee, watch. C'mon Amy Ryan, don't make me look stupid. They didn't even nominate the right supporting actress from Atonement, it should have been Romola Garai. Geez, Tilda Swinton, eat a cheeseburger. Ya know what's funny about this. Right as I was writing my predictions, the thought crossed my mind that everyone is focusing on the battle between Ruby Dee, Amy Ryan, and Cate Blanchett, and then it dawned on me that Tilda Swinton has never won an Oscar, despite her sterling reputation. She's a critical darling and complete chameleon of an actress, it would make sense that she could sneak in and win it. Lo and behold, she does. So at least everyone was wrong. I am now a kickass 3 for 7. This will definitely be my best year.
I don't think I'd like to fight Josh Brolin. Okay, here comes the first win for NCFOM. Of course, don't ever doubt me when I say it's a lock. 4 for 8 now. Good for them. Brilliant filmmakers, they deserve every accolade coming their way. I love how they're so awkward and out of place in the spotlight. These dudes aren't cut out for this crap. They're movie nerds. They just want to make movies they are passionate about, they couldn't care less about the accolades, god bless 'em.

9:17pm CST:

Yes! There is no way to go wrong with Jonah Hill or Seth Rogen, let alone with their forces combined. Best Sound Editing, I have a feeling I got this one wrong. I'm not sensing the love for TWBB. I think its supporters may just be the most vocal, but not the most in number. Of course, I went the experts instead of my gut feeling. The Bourne Ultimatum wins. Now 4 for 9, baby baby! What is the lesson, kids? I have no idea, it's all a crapshoot. This is going downhill fast.
Here's another category I'm going to get wrong because I was under the impression that people admired the more technical aspects of both TWBB and Transformers. It never fails. Every year, there's one Hollywood blockbuster that cleans up the technical awards. Apparently, The Bourne Ultimatum is that film this year. I'm a stealthy 4 for 10 now. I don't deserve to live.
God, Halle Berry's speech when she won Best Actress was just brutal, what an idiot. Get a grip. Okay, here we go, this is a big one. Since I've pretty much screwed the pooch here, I want to at least salvage the evening by getting most of the major awards right. C'mon Julie Christie! I will say that Marion Cotillard is the opposite of gross. She's quite awesome. I actually think Ellen Page deserves to win. She's so adept with those lines and incredibly moving, it's definitely my favorite performance of the 5. Well there ya go, apparently enough people saw this. I guess being wrong builds character. 4 for 11 now. I'm gonna go dunk my head in the toilet.

9:41pm CST:

I adored Once. Excellent film and great songs, this song better win dammit. They performed at the Independent Spirit Awards yesterday (different song) and were amazing. Them winning would help spruce up the evening.
Oh lord, more of the Jack Nicholson love fest. Take your scenery chewing, your ego, and yours Lakers season tickets elsewhere. I guess I'm in a bad mood now.
No way! Another montage of their own past shows! Who could have predicted that?! Okay, that was totally necessary. A reminder of how many times they've gotten it completely wrong.
Wouldn't it be ironic for me to get Best Editing wrong after The Bourne Ultimatum has won a slew of other technical awards? I'm sure it'll happen, it's my luck. Thank you, I forgot what it was like to get one right. I had a feeling it was a sure thing since it cleaned up at the Eddies. 5 for 12 now.
While the old dude talks for an hour, I wanna take this time to reflect a little bit. While it really annoys me that I can't predict every single award, it is part of what's fun about the Academy Awards. It wouldn't be nearly as entertaining if everything was so easily called, that's what makes it so difficult to get all of the categories right. Sometimes we have good surprises, like when Adrien Brody won for Best Actor and sometimes we have bad surprises, like when Crash won for Best Picture. Either way, the element of surprise can't be undervalued as I think it's what makes the whole process exciting. We've seen too many examples of "sure things" only to be sideswiped by a peculiar groundswell of support for one particular film or person. I find it fascinating, even if it can work against me, as it usually does. Alright, let's rally, I stand a chance to get everything else right. Allegedly.

9:56pm CST:

Best Foreign Film is a good category b/c they have different rules, so everyone who votes has to have seen all 5. The bad thing is they have these weird, bizarre rules for submission. Oh and none were available stateside in 2007. Yeah, makes sense. I picked The Counterfeiters b/c frankly it's the only one I had heard of. Oh, look at that, I got one right that I wasn't sure about. 6 for 13 now.
Okay, Best Song, this better be "Falling Slowly". This will be one of my few sentimental victories of the night if it wins. Baby Baby! Hell yeah! 7 for 14. Excellent film, excellent song. One of the few happy moments so far.

10:06pm CST:

Best Cinematography will be interesting considering there seems to be no love for TWBB. What I'm counting on is Roger Deakins will split his own vote between NCFOM and The Assassination For Jesse James... and the highly respected Robert Elswit will come through. Oh look at that, I'm recovering slowly. 8 for 15.
Alright, the dead people montage. Good way to pep up the evening.
Still breaks my heart that Heath Ledger is gone. I had high hopes for that one. At least the Joker looks pretty ridiculous, so it doesn't seem to be the worst swan song in the world.

10:08pm CST:

Best Score was a total crapshoot for me, so I went with the expert consensus. I had a feeling about Atonement. It was my personal favorite of the scores amongst the nominees, but once again, the experts know nothing. I am now 8 for 16.
Best Documentary is an interesting category. I feel that it comes down to No End in Sight vs. Sicko. I predicted No End b/c of its critical acclaim and b/c Michael Moore is such a divisive figure, even if it is an excellent film (he doesn't make documentaries, he makes films, let's not get confused). My only concern is that people are tired of the Iraq documentaries. While important, there have been so many that they may have a dulling effect. Okay, wow. Yet another surprise. I guess I'm just an idiot. 8 for 17 now. I gotta reel off 4 in a row to equal my egregious total from last year.

10:37pm CST:

For some strange reason, I have a feeling that Michael Clayton could pull an upset. Apparently not, woohoo. Juno was one of the best films of the year and deserved it. Diablo Cody, however, did disappoint me by not being more volatile. She's just like everyone else! Booooooo. 9 for 18 now.
I'll just say it. Helen Mirren is freakin' hot. Okay, time for the lock of the night. What a shock. Most deserving award of the night. Day-Lewis is a dynamo. Utterly incredible. 10 for 19 now.

10:40pm CST:

It is bizarre that these are the first 2 Oscars ever for a Paul Thomas Anderson film. What a crock of shit. One of our best modern day directors and he keeps getting passed over for flavor of the month crap. Yeah, it pisses me off.
Joel and Ethan Coen winning Best Director was pretty easy and I have no issues with it. 11 for 20 now. Despite my crappy performance, I'm in position to equal my dismal total from last year. Given how the evening has gone, that's not too terrible.
Time for NCFOM to get its big prize. There we go, 12 for 21. Not a bad recovery, but the sad part is I don't know this experience helps me improve upon next year b/c it's still a crapshoot in so many ways. I can't complain. It's a fantastic film and definitely one of the best of the year.
3 hours and 17 minutes, pretty breezy telecast. I am pathetic so I wish it was longer, but there ya go. Pretty mundane overall, nothing crazy happened. I'm sorry, but when a major category goes to a complete underdog like Adrien Brody, it just makes it more fun. I don't have a big problem with any of the major choices, but it's just more fun when there are major surprises, assuming they aren't dumb choices. Jon Stewart did a solid job again and there was plenty of bloated, unnecessary crap, but that's part of what I love. I'm not ashamed to say it.

Top Ten of 2006 and More

2007-07-15T23:39:00.004-05:00

So, I'm going over my movie lists for oh, the past 8 years or so and realized that in 2006, I peaked in terms of number of new films watched. And who says I'm losing my edge? Just to add a little perspective, I usually feel good about making a "best-of-the-year" list if I see 80-90 new films from that year. In 2006, I saw over 100. Shout-out to Netflix, couldn't have done it without you, baby!! Adding to the excitement is the fact that I'm posting my 2006 list in July of 2007, which is a 2-3 month improvement over last year. While not ideal, progress is progress. Damn, I wish the days of having a job where I actually showed up for 15 hours of work per week, while making 40-hour a week money. Stupid adulthood. Regardless, the reality is it's difficult for me to post shortly after the year ends b/c A) I don't have the time to see everything I need to see by that point and B) Even if I did, I don't have the time to promptly write it out. Oh and C) No one reads this blog anyway, so it doesn't really matter, does it?

As for 2006, ho-hum, another year goes by. Plenty of disappointments (Cars, X-Men 3, Superman Returns...hmm, all big summer blockbusters, what are the odds?!), plenty of surprises (Rocky Balboa, Running Scared, The Proposition), and a handful of excellent films that help compose a solid top 10. In other words, just another year. Not exceptionally disappointing and not particularly spectacular either. The one feather in 2006's cap would be that the top 3 films of the year are all worthy of a best-of-the-decade list. None are guaranteed to make such a prestigious list, but all are certainly worthy of consideration. Anyway, these lists get long enough, so let's get to it.

10) Brick - Looks like Joseph Gordon-Levitt is getting an early start on his acting prodigy trajectory. A film noir set in high school seems very hard to swallow on paper, but the remarkable thing is that first-time writer-director Rian Johnson actually makes it palatable. Relentlessly compelling and completely without any sort of nudge-nudge sensibility that would normally pollute such a project. It probably works better if you are well-versed in film noir, but then again, Johnson does such a good job of keeping up momentum and thrusting you right into the damn thing that you're likely to dig it either way.

9) United 93 - The idea of making a film about 9/11 in any capacity is a touchy area, and rightfully so. It's inevitable, but nonetheless painful, to say the least. Making a film about the actual hijacking seems even more tricky b/c then you're wandering into visceral action thrills/revenge pic territory. Whether you think something like that is justified or not, it's hard to deny that it's toeing a very volatile line. Baggage in tow, I still found United 93 to be a very moving film. The thing to be careful about with any 9/11 film is that they're nearly impossible to honestly critique b/c everyone has such strong, emotional feelings about the event that overshadow any rational judgment. Hell, World Trade Center made me tear up and that was hamfisted, emotional claptrap filmmaking at its worst. Somehow, United 93 manages to truly honor the heroes of 9/11 without ever venturing too far into the land of the preposterous (aka, Hollywood). Credit director Paul Greengrass for using a cast of unknowns and an aesthetic that is never too action-film indulgent to foster a moving tribute to those who perished during 9/11.

8) The Prestige - To me, Christopher Nolan has always been a director with limitless potential, yet has never managed to foster a film worthy of his talents. I wasn't a big fan of Memento, Insomnia was solid, but nothing special, and even the much-loved Batman Begins wasn't as good as it could have been. With The Prestige, Nolan had an intriguing storyline with awesome talent (Bale, Jackman, Johansson, etc.), but I still approached it with much trepidation. Maybe lowering the bar is the key b/c The Prestige was as entertaining as any film I saw all year. Darker than I expected (in a good way) with Bale being his usual excellent self and Jackman surprisingly matching him blow for blow.

7) V For Vendetta - Man, I love the Wachowski brothers. Sure, their films are incredibly self-important and contain that certain cinematic bravado that is rarely seen in film today, but I love that they're so unabashedly into their own sense of epic-ness (don't worry, I know it's not a word). V For Vendetta is no different and in this age of irony and self-awareness, a more skeptical person would probably laugh at a lot of the liberties it takes, but if you get caught up in it, it is fun, ridiculous stuff.

6) The Fountain - Hugh Jackman should buy his agent a Porsche or maybe he owes the devil a little sumthin' sumthin' because his trifecta of 2006 included working with Woody Allen, Christopher Nolan, and Darren Aronofsky. Oh and he had love scenes with both Scarlett Johansson AND Rachel Weisz, life is good for Wolverine. I had a hard time with this one and in fact, I'd feel better about it if I saw it again. Aronofsky made us wait 6 years between films and many will have strong opinions on this film (most with opinions on it have expressed their appreciation or distaste rather loudly), but I will say this, he definitely swung for the fences. The film is incredibly ambitious and yes, flawed, but visually astounding and intensely moving. Even if you think he strikes out, I'd rather have a filmmaker swing for the fences than play it safe. So, it's a visually amazing film that wears its heart on its sleeve and maybe doesn't always make great narrative sense? Wong Kar-Wai would be proud, Darren.

5) Half Nelson - Man, I love it when great acting carries a film. There's nothing like watching a film with a slew of stellar performances. The funny thing is that great acting has often been misconstrued as big, loud histrionics when in fact, it's when an actor disappears into a character so wholly and completely that he/she becomes that character. You forget you're watching an actor and feel like you're having a discreet peak into someone's life. This is how all of Half Nelson feels. Ryan Gosling, Shareeka Epps, and Anthony Mackie all do incredible work and actually manage to make a "drug movie" anything, but cliche. It's a credit to screenwriters Ryan Fleck and Anna Boden as well, that they've resisted the temptation to become cloying or hamfisted in their delivery. This isn't anything groundbreaking, but goes to show that if you deliver a familiar story with solid storytelling and spot-on performances, it can tremendously elevate the quality of a film.

4) The Proposition - What would you say if I told you that in 2006, musician Nick Cave would write one of the grittiest, true-to-form neo-Westerns of the past decade? If you said that Sam Peckinpah would be proud to spit-shake ol' Nick's hand, then you are the big winner. Featuring some top notch performances (not the least of which is Danny Huston's bone-chilling turn), a refreshingly icy narrative, and the sweeping scope/desolation of the Australian outback, The Proposition is the kind of film that refuses to pander and the movie-going audience is better for it. If you're a fan of HBO's Deadwood like I am, The Proposition is right up your alley.

3) The Departed - It's almost like Scorsese decided to show all the Tarantino hangers-on (including Tarantino himself) how to really do the gangster-cop genre picture. It rightfully won the Best Picture award (The Academy actually got something right!) and it's endless "watchability" makes it an instant classic. Scorsese, aside from being our best living director and maybe the best director to ever live, is like that song you always loved while growing up and then when you revisit it, you are reminded of how awesome it is and how it's so much better than the "crap they put out nowadays and things won't ever be the same again". A little respect please for the master.

2) Children of Men - Where do we begin? How about the revolutionary one-take suspense sequences that have you chewing your fingers off? How about the terrifyingly apocalyptic world that director Alfonso Cuaron makes seem so real, relevant, and imminent? How about the way in which Clive Owen continues to establish himself as one of the most interesting and downright "ultra-cool/badass guy" actors around? How about that damn car chase? You heard it here first, this will easily be the most overlooked film of 2006 as well as the most "classic/legendary/influential/whatever else you wanna add" films of the early 21st century when we look back 50 years from now.

1) When the Levees Broke - Some (if anyone actually read this, but just go with me) may argue that this doesn't qualify as a 2006 film, but regardless, I was so moved by Spike Lee's Hurricane Katrina polemic that I have no choice, but to call it the best film product of 2006. It is a cultural touchstone in every sense of the phrase. It is a true reflection of modern day America and in that regard, it is very sad and disturbing, but it is also an amazing tale of hope and resilience. Spike Lee is one of the best filmmakers of this generation and he continues to challenge and stimulate the minds of anyone who witnesses his genius. His ability to provoke audiences by blatantly depicting the complexities and grays in our world is a refreshing departure from all of the black and white posturing and moralizing.

Runners-Up: Running Scared, Babel, Street Fight, Little Children, A Prairie Home Companion, Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

Individual Awards:
Best Actor: Ryan Gosling - Half Nelson: He inhabits this character so completely that it's downright scary. Ah yes, reminds me of a young Edward Norton. Don't you get all surly and ego maniacal on me too, Ryan!
Runners-Up: Forest Whitaker - The Last King of Scotland, Gael Garcia Bernal - The Science of Sleep, Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Brick, Ray Winstone - The Proposition, Clive Owen - Children of Men

Best Actress: Shu Qi - Three Times: Inhabiting three different characters in the same film is difficult enough as it is, but having to not only do a convincing job of making the characters distinctive and believable while forming such an emotional bond with the audience for each one is especially incredible. While the film is worthy of Shu Qi's talents, it's a shame that it wasn't more affecting or as indelible as her performance(s).
Runners-Up: Ellen Page - Hard Candy, Helen Mirren - The Queen, Kate Winslet - Little Children, Penelope Cruz - Volver, Juliette Binoche - Breaking & Entering, Laura Dern - Inland Empire

Best Supporting Actor: Danny Huston - The Proposition: Damn, this was hard. Mark Wahlberg definitely maximized his screen time in The Departed and did everything he could to create a memorable character (and succeeded admirably), but the thing about Huston's character, Arthur Burns, is that he is built up and talked about for the first half of the film so much so that he MUST live up to the hype if the film is to completely work. And Huston was able to imbue his villainous Burns with such charisma and volatility that he is as unforgettable as he is terrifying/captivating.
Runners-Up: Mark Wahlberg - The Departed, Alan Arkin - Little Miss Sunshine, Michael Sheen - The Queen, Jackie Earle Haley - Little Children, John Hurt - The Proposition

Best Supporting Actress: Rinko Kikuchi - Babel: Such a brave undertaking. We all know that Inarritu is going to make his characters as miserable as possible. The key is finding the humanity in each character and making them something more than human punching bags. In the role of Chieko, Kikuchi manages to make all of her seemingly bizarre emotions as palpable as possible. By being one of the emotional anchors of the film, she is a big part of Babel's overall effectiveness.
Runners-Up: Adriana Barraza - Babel, Jennifer Hudson - Dreamgirls, Shareeka Epps - Half Nelson, Jacinda Barrett - The Last Kiss, Lola Duenas - Volver

Other Miscellaneous Awards (or lack thereof):
Worst Film of the Year: Wow, even though I saw a whopping 115 new films from 2006, I didn't downright hate or even strongly dislike any of them. Maybe I'm getting soft. I really hope not b/c it's a lot of fun to rip apart a piece of crap like Crash or The Devil's Rejects. Even so, someone has to take the prize, right? In this case, my vote goes to X-Men 3: The Last Stand. It's not like a red flag wasn't raised b/c of the fact that super self-delusional, ego-maniac Brett Ratner was set to direct, but I should know better. The trailer made it look somewhat enticing. I'm a big fan of the second X-Men, so maybe it's my own fault that I got caught up in the hype that blatantly states it's so freakin' easy to make a movie where a plethora of superheroes embody pretty much any superhuman ability imaginable, so it should be pretty easy to make an entertaining action movie, right?! Err...APPARENTLY it's a pretty tall order b/c this abomination was about as rote and mundane an "action" movie as possible. Note to Brett Ratner: You're an idiot. Your point of pride is the holy Rush Hour trilogy, so get over yourself, go back to film school, and learn how to not be retarded. Thanks.

Most Underrated/Underappreciated Film of the Year:
The Descent - A good year for underrated films and since horror films seem to be a dime a dozen, it's only appropriate that I single out a film that actually succeeded admirably in creeping the hell out of me. By combining an intense atmosphere of claustrophobia with a genuinely intense narrative, The Descent separates itself from the pack by keeping you on the edge of your seat and making you long for good clean oxygen. You best cancel that spelunking trip you've been planning! Runners-Up: The Lady in the Water, Running Scared, The Last Kiss, Rocky Balboa, The Good Shepherd, Breaking and Entering

Favorite Imperfect Film of the Year:
The Last Kiss - I don't know what it is about this film, but every time it comes on HBO, I fall into a hypnotic trance. Maybe I have some kind of subconscious love affair with Zach Braff (given that I really enjoy watching Garden State even though I have MAJOR problems with it). I mean, he is charismatic in a nerdy kind of way and as Homer Simpson likes to say, "Yes, he is handsome in a ugly sort of way" (haha, kidding). Even with all that in mind, I really enjoy the rapport between the 4 male leads and I like how it never cops out. A lot of the ideas resonate with me and it's good a pretty good soundtrack. Plus, Rachel Bilson is the opposite of the Holocaust, so that helps. It's just one of those films that may have plenty of imperfections, yet retains the timeless quality of limitless watchability. Lot to be said for that.

Another Excuse to Love J.J. Abrams Award:
Mission: Impossible III: As if Lost wasn't enough, he goes and makes the MI series actually entertaining. Does this guy do anything that isn't awesome? I mean, does he wipe his ass with silk pillow cases and eat Filet Mignon as a snack while Angelina Jolie gives him a massage? It wasn't the greatest film in the world, but as far as action films go, he generated some real intensity and made sure that shit got blowed up real good. God bless that man.

One of the Most Unexpectedly Hilarious Scenes from an Even More Unexpected Film Award:
The Break-Up: I'm sorry, but Vince Vaughn schooling all those dudes on Madden is hilarious and disgustingly relevant to my own life. I'm not a big video game guy, but I love me some Madden and watching ol' Trent tell guys that the reason he is beating them in Madden is b/c while their guys are out partying, his guys are out running routes and practicing is comedic gold to me. Not the funniest film in the world, but marginally entertaining for what it is and that's about the best I can hope for from a film that was probably sponsored by US Weekly.

More Evidence that Kate Winslet is an Amazingly Hot/Amazing Actress Award:
Little Children - If you don't agree, you're dumb, just go away.

The "You Need to Have a More Original Storyline" Award:
Blood Diamond - We've seen way too many films about a foreign outsider who initially has selfish intentions, only to have a conflict of conscience based on what he witnesses convert him to being an activist on behalf of the oppressed countrymen of his present location. Enough is enough. C'mon Leo, Jennifer, and Djimon, you're better than that! You have too much talent in your corner to be a party to such a generic, emotional claptrap storyline. You hear me talkin', Ridley Scott's A Good Year?! I'm lookin' at you too!

Another Very Compelling Film from an Underrated Director Award:
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer: This guy continues to come through with not only this film, but also films like The Princess and the Warrior and Run, Lola Run. His stuff may not be for everyone, but his versatility and ability to churn out engaging/moving material should be more recognized than hacks like Michael Bay or Brett Ratner.

Oscars 2007!

2007-02-25T15:36:00.000-06:00

It is 3:37pm CST as I type this and we're merely hours away from my own personal Super Bowl, the Academy Awards! Tonight is the culmination of all my hard earned hours sitting on my ass watching film after film, did I mention how much I love Netflix? I'm actually way ahead of the curve this year. As evidenced by a top ten of 2005 posted in September, I usually don't see everything I need to see until late in the year, but this year, I've seen almost every film nominated for anything and I only have about 20 films left from the 2006 slate to see so I expect to post a top ten of 2006 much sooner than I did for 2005. As I'm sure I'll mention numerous times tonight, I'm not as excited as I normally am. Of the major categories, everything is pretty much a foregone conclusion except for Best Picture, which oddly enough, is wide open. After that, all of the smaller and/or more technical categories are damn near impossible to predict b/c there isn't a Titanic-esque juggernaut this year to sweep a big chunk of those awards. This probably means the Academy members had to actually think for themselves when voting, perish the thought! Either way, I've done pretty well with my predictions the past few years (sans that whole Crash winning best picture part, but I wasn't the only one floored by that...look, I can't control if people are stupid, it can be very hard to predict), but I'm thinking this year, I'm gonna suck major ass. Regardless, I have an almost full bottle of rum, I got plenty of sleep, I got the live feed of the show right next to my computer, and a satchel full of wit, so prepare that ass! I'll be back in a little while to post my predictions well before the broadcast actually starts so you'll know if I'm cheating or not.

--5:20pm CST: I guess I should go ahead and post my predictions. On one hand, I like knowing I'm going to get the majority right. It makes me feel like I know something about this and plus, who enjoys being wrong? On the other hand, it makes the ceremony kind of exciting when no one has a clue who will win what (for the most part) because whichever film begins racking up the smaller awards early on is usually indication of things to come and if every film is winning something here or there, it makes the whole process entirely unpredictable. And if the ceremony is roughly 4 hours long, a little excitement definitely couldn't hurt. Anyway, on with it.

Best Picture: Babel - I say this with no authority whatsoever. There are rumblings of a groundswell of support for Little Miss Sunshine, but Hollywood likes to feel important and Babel definitely scratches that itch for the narcissism capital of the world. That'd be fine by me because I think it's an excellent film, but I will shit myself if The Departed wins. I doubt it will because genre gangster films never ever win (unless it's The Godfather), but ya never know, it was the most acclaimed film of the year, but I doubt it.

Best Director: Martin Scorsese (The Departed) - I feel good about this one and it's about damn time. Inarritu has an outside chance for Babel, but it's finally good ol' Marty's to lose.

Best Actor: Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland) - He has won every precursor imaginable and he is damn good in Last King, but if I were choosing, it'd be Ryan Gosling for Half Nelson, but the Academy will go for Whitaker's more histrionic performance and that's fine.

Best Actress: Helen Mirren (The Queen) - If you don't think she's going to win, you're stupid. Go home.

Best Supporting Actor: Eddie Murphy (Dreamgirls) - Of course Norbit is going to win a category in which he is the worst of the 5 nominees. I'm so fucking sick of people falling all over themselves whenever a comedic actor does a competent job in a dramatic role. Murphy is fine in Dreamgirls, but nothing more. I would be ecstatic if anyone other than him won, but I think Gumbi's got it, unfortunately. Only person who really has a chance to upset him is Alan Arkin for Little Miss Sunshine. However, if Marky Mark somehow wins for The Departed, I'll be so excited I might throw Pants off the balcony.

Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Hudson (Dreamgirls) - I'm ok with this one. Hudson is a dynamo and definitely the highlight of the film and the Academy could definitely do a lot worse. It'd be kickass if either of the women from Babel won, but I have a feeling they'll split the vote unless the Academy decides to cull their support for one of the girls in particular, a la Steven Soderbergh winning Director in 2001.

Best Original Screenplay: Babel
Best Adapted Screenplay: The Departed
Best Animated Feature: Cars
Best Original Score: Babel
Best Original Song: Dreamgirls - "Listen"
Best Editing: Babel
Best Cinematography: Children of Men (just thought I'd add, this film has some of best sequences I've ever seen...like ever, go see it if you haven't already, it'll tear you a new one)
Best Art Direction: Pan's Labyrinth
Best Costume Design: Dreamgirls
Best Makeup: Pan's Labyrinth
Best Sound Mixing: Dreamgirls
Best Sound Editing: Letters From Iwo Jima
Best Visual Effects: Pirates of Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Best Foreign Film: Pan's Labyrinth
Best Documentary Feature: An Inconvenient Truth

So I'm predicting Babel to come away with 4 wins, I really think the support for this film is stronger than people are choosing to acknowledge. Also, 5 wins for Dreamgirls. It didn't get nominated for best picture, but it did lead all films with 8 nominations so clearly, Hollywood has plenty of love for it. And I don't predict the worthless, oh I'm sorry, short subject categories because I, nor anyone else, could give a fuck less who wins.

--7:00pm CST:

Did I mention how much I am dreading the fact that Ellen freaking DeGeneres is hosting this year? Gotta love that the thinking behind that choice. Hey, who is the most unfunny, irritating person we can find to host the Oscars this year?! Rosie O'Donnell? No, she's booked up. Oh well, next best thing is Ellen DeGeneres, she's almost as irritating. Deal!
Is Naomi Watts pregnant? Alright, I want names dammit. Someone's gonna get a swift kick in the ass.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think Ryan Seacrest does a decent job. E-television is normally intolerable when it comes to the red carpet stuff, but getting rid of Joan Rivers was a logical way to improve the show. I just had no idea that Ryan Seacrest of all people would do a pretty good job, which basically means I don't wanna kill him.
The costume designer for The Devil Wears Prada is pretty fucking gross.
Beyonce looks A-OK. She's pretty much the complete opposite of the aforementioned Prada costume designer.
It makes me sick that Babel keeps getting compared to Crash. I mean, I understand if someone doesn't find Babel to be a great film, but you can't deny that it's well made. Whereas, Crash was so incompetently made, it still floors me that anyone can think it's a well-made or even good film. The only thing they have in common are multiple, intersecting storylines, THAT'S IT. Ok, I'll do my best to not mention Crash anymore tonight (geez, get over it).
Penelope Cruz has gargantuan ears.
Doesn't Will Smith seem like the coolest guy ever? He's as affable off-screen as he is on-screen.
Jesus Christ, did Cameron Diaz fall into coma while on the tanning bed?

--7:43pm CST:

Djimon Hounsou may be the coolest looking guy out there. And Steve Carrell does deadpan as well as anyone I've ever seen, God bless him.
The ever exciting art direction award goes to Pan's Labyrinth. 1 for 1. I'll also take this opportunity to say that The Prestige is a fine film and should be nominated for more than it is.
Ok good, let's get the technical bullshit ceremony montage out of the way. They should group all of the worthless montages and honorary awards that everyone uses for bathroom/smoke breaks into one 30 second mention during the pre-show. That way, no one ever has to feign interest.
LOL, this show is fucking ridiculous. How necessary was it for those people to contort their bodies so that they form the shape of the Oscar statuette? Self indulgence is not in short supply, what a shock.

--8:23pm CST:

For so much the Academy gets wrong, thank God they have someone really smart telling them to have some combination of Will Ferrell/Jack Black/Ben Stiller, etc. sing or do something really stupid at every ceremony. Having John C. Reilly was just a bonus.
Having Will Smith's kid and Abigail Breslin present the shorts is cute, but superfluous. Why on earth can't these categories be yoked in with that pseudo-award ceremony for tech stuff?
For all the extraneous bullshit the Academy includes in these things, I take some perverse enjoyment in the little segments they have for each Best Pic nominee. At least it's entertaining, I'm not ashamed!
Oh yeah, I'm 2 for 2. Both awards for Pan's Labyrinth. Both were expected and not really an indication of things to come. I still can't believe that movie was so highly acclaimed across the board. Its technical merits are unquestioned, which is why it's winning these awards, but the writing is so pedestrian, it's almost like everyone was blinded by the more aesthetic elements of the film.
A sound effects choir. Why? WHY??!?! It's impressive that they can even do this, but I wonder if it ever occurred to them while doing this, that they have the most unnecessary, ridiculous occupation in the history of planet Earth.
Alright, 3 for 3 with that win for Sound Editing. I was a little unsure with this one, so I'm glad I got it. It's good to pad my stats b/c I'm sure it'll all come crumbling down later.
4 for 4. Damn I'm good. If you ever need someone to predict a sound mixing award or an art direction award, I'm your man.
Ok here we go, best supporting actor. I had no idea they were presenting this so early. Well there is a God. Eddie Murphy was the frontrunner, but I you can quote me, I did say that Alan Arkin was the darkhorse. 4 for 5 now. This bodes well for Little Miss Sunshine. Good for Arkin, terrific actor and the best thing about that film.

--9:23pm CST:

Goddammit, fucking Happy Feet?! I guess Hollywood's not too keen on Pixar these days. I'm 4 for 6. See? Pride cometh before the fall. It's ok. Time to recover, let's rattle off a string of correct guesses.
Nice. William Monahan for The Departed winning screenplay is just. 5 for 7. I didn't think this one was too hard to predict, but ya never know. I like that method of presenting screenplay. The montage was a bit unnecessary and it was kinda long-winded, but interesting nonetheless.
Guess I underestimated the love for Dreamgirls. About the only thing impressive about Marie Antoinette was the costume design and given it's tepid reception I didn't think it had a chance, but I guess the Academy was able to recognize one its few admirable traits. 5 for 8 now.
This is fucking ridiculous. No way in hell did Pan's Labyrinth have the best cinematography, not even close. Children of Men was groundbreaking. That movie's greatness comes in large part from its cinematography. What a farce, fuck this shit. I guess the love for PL is pretty strong. 5 for 9.
Need to lighten your mood? I know I do after that bogus award. Here comes ol' RDJ to the rescue. Self-deprecating humor involving your past drug addiction is just what the doctor ordered. Either way, the cinematography in CoM is the kind of stuff that will be studied in film schools in the future. It is groundbreaking, mesmerizing stuff. This seems like a classic case of the Academy not having seen the film widely enough or they just have their collective heads up their asses. Neither would surprise me.
Pirates of the Caribbean wins best visual FX, how cute. 6 for 10.

--10:02pm CST:

Is there anyone on this planet who is cooler than Clive Owen? He looks like he just walked off the set of Children of Men (can you tell? I kinda liked that movie).
Wow, props to Will for calling it. Pan's Labyrinth didn't win best foreign film somehow. It's widely acclaimed and winning everything it's nominated for, but not for best foreign film. This may imply that it's more admired technically than loved, which makes sense because I've been utterly shocked by its near universal acclaim. 6 for 11, I suck.
Time for best supporting actress. I have a feeling I got this one right. Ok, I'm not a total dumbshit. Good for her, she was fantastic, best thing about Dreamgirls. 7 for 12.
Yay, another who gives a shit award handed out. This time for documentary short subject. At what point in time did anyone say they cared about categories like this? I mean, did they try to do away with them at one point, but then the masses objected and clamored for the glorious return of the short films?
Best documentary was pretty much a foregone conclusion with An Inconvenient Truth. 8 for 13.
Ah yes, the honorary awards are always good for a smoke break.

--10:57pm CST:

Babel winning best score bodes well for the film. 9 for 14. God this is a long telecast.
Alright, original screenplay, something of substance for once. If anything, but Little Miss
Sunshine wins, you can kiss its chances of best pic goodbye. If it does win, it means it's still alive and has a chance at the big prize. Well, there we go. I almost changed this prediction at the last minute to LMS, but I decided to go with my initial choice. What's the lesson, kids? I have no idea. It's a crapshoot. LMS is still alive and has a good chance at best picture, ugghh. 9 for 15.
We still got editing and song before the 4 big awards will be handed out. I'm getting a little worried about my pick for best picture considering LMS pulled a significant upset with best supporting actor and a mild upset with original screenplay. Then again, the screenplay award could be the consolation prize that the Academy likes to dole out to films they like, but don't consider good enough for the big prize (i.e. Lost in Translation, Sideways, etc.).
I had a feeling Melissa was gonna get best song, but every prognosticator said Dreamgirls so I went with that. That's the last time I listen to experts! (probably not) 9 for 16.
Is Kate Winslet ever not gorgeous? Sam Mendes is wayyy luckier than he realizes. Ok film editing, c'mon Babel, don't make me look bad. Ok so Thelma Schoonmaker won and that is fucking awesome. One of the best editors ever. I was wrong and this doesn't bode well for Babel, but I don't care. If it means The Departed wins, I'm all for it. 9 for 17.
We got the 4 big ones to go. Helen Mirren winning was the most sure thing of the night. If I got that wrong, I would have killed myself. 10 for 18.

--11:16pm CST:

I end the night 12 for 21, which is not good, but I've never been more glad to be wrong with the best picture. The Departed is a phenomenal film and definitely the best of the ones nominated. Marty finally won, damn good ending to the evening. Much better than last year for goddamn sure. In the words of Trey Parker, The Departed! Fuck yeah!

Top Ten of 2005 and more

2006-09-13T21:58:00.000-05:00

Gotta love posting top ten lists for a year that is not only 9 months ago, but also well out of the public consciousness by this point. Either way, this is how I roll. I can't in good conscience make a top ten list without having seen all the potential candidates so with that said, god bless Netflix and enjoy.

10) Grizzly Man - Possibly the most compelling documentary since Metallica: Some Kind of Monster as Werner Herzog demonstrates madness in a way that has never made the statement "truth is sometimes stranger than fiction" more true. While I appreciate and enjoy documentaries whose sole intention is to educate, I am even more compelled by documentaries that actually provoke. In the case of Grizzly Man, the truth may be presented before you, but the investigation only begins once the film has ended and reflection begins to take place.

9) The New World - Terence Malick has a reputation for such meticulous attention to detail that the fact he takes roughly a decade to make a new film has come to be expected. In the case of The New World, the wait is well worth it as history buffs will appreciate the rigid accuracy, those with an eye for photography will appreciate the gorgeous cinematography, and those who enjoy a bold narrative with a torrid romance (or romances) will all find something to savor as Malick manages to meld all these ingredients (and more) to make a completely engrossing and intoxicating picture.

8) Walk the Line - In general, I'm not a fan of the biopic because it too often has a tendency to have a trajectory that is far too predictable and boring. In the case of Walk the Line, the narrative does not tread any new ground, but it just goes to show what strong acting and a central story arc can do for a biopic. Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon give two of the best acting performances of the year as WtL manages to be both relentlessly compelling and endearing. By mainly focusing on the love story between June and Johnny and the aforementioned stellar performances, WtL manages to rise above the mediocre standard set by recent biopics.

7) Mysterious Skin - Don't get me wrong, the Doom Generation films were entertaining, but if this is what Gregg Araki has been holding back all these years, then he has been wasting time. That may seem like an insult to his earlier work, but really, it's an accolade for how good Mysterious Skin is. I can't recall having ever seen a film that found such a unique way to tell such a tragic tale. Araki's vivid imagination serves him well as he depicts how two teenagers might deal with such a horrible history and Joseph Gordon-Levitt proves his Angels in the Outfield days are far behind him as an interesting/talented acting career apparently lies ahead.

6) Match Point - Woody Allen has long been a filmmaker who has always been able to transition between comedy and drama as well as anyone, but for the past decade, most critics have not been terribly kind to any of his work, whether dramatic or comedic. I'm in the minority in that I don't think Woody's work of late has been utter shit, but I'm also not about to put any of it into the same category as Annie Hall or Hannah and Her Sisters. With Match Point, we can all thankfully celebrate a glorious return to form for one of the best American filmmakers to ever live. Every aspect of this film is executed to perfection with the only drawback being the story itself, which is one that we've all seen before, but when all the elements (acting, writing, direction, etc.) are mixed perfectly, it just goes to show what a master can do when in peak form.

5) Oldboy - Similar to what Saw was for me in 2004, Oldboy arrived in 2005 as an unexpected shot of adrenaline. One of the advantages of Asian cinema in general is that there is no Hollywood formula. Risks are taken, storylines are unpredictable, and in more intense pictures, if there is a body limb that can be mutilated or done away with, rest assured it will be done in the most stomach turning way possible. That doesn't mean that shock appeal is what counts (because it doesn't, that's why the American Pie movies suck), but when you're making a film about revenge, you want the tension and the rage to be palpable so that you genuinely feel anything could happen. In the case of Oldboy, sit back and enjoy madness at its best. And here I thought Takashi Miike was the only clinically insane director working today, but it looks it's time to make room for Park Chan-wook.

4) 40 Year Old Virgin - The funniest film since Wet Hot American Summer. The encouraging thing about Judd Apatow's directing debut is that he seems to get 2 basic aspects of good comedy: 1) Story and characters worth giving a shit about actually ENHANCE the comedic effect, not work against it, 2) Working in different kinds of comedy is beneficial. Steve Carell gives a great performance and the supporting cast is more than up to the task as Apatow manages to incorporate smart humor, stupid humor, perverted humor, racial humor, and a "you know how I know you're gay..." improv exchange that immediately carved itself a spot on the short list for the year's best scenes.

3) Munich - I'm a firm believer that somehow, someway Spielberg continues to be underrated, but that's another story for another day. Munich is an amazing feat because it manages to be a taut, intense thriller of consequence that actually challenges its audience. Is the war on terrorism a futile undertaking? Of course that's rhetorical in the most depressing way possible, but its depiction here makes it all the more real. Oh and Eric Bana continues to fly under the radar for some bizarre reason.

2) 2046 - The extent of my love and appreciation for the brilliance of Wong Kar-Wai has already been well documented on this blog so I won't try to belabor that point, but the conclusion to his Days of Being Wild/In the Mood for Love/2046 tragic love story is about as heartbreaking as one could hope. One of the most appealing aspects of Wong's work is his clear understanding of dreams shattered and the drudgery of life post-heartbreak. It doesn't hurt that he has the luxury of utilizing one of the best actors alive in Tony Leung. But is there a more gifted visual filmmaker working today? Assuming you allow yourself to abandon the typical storytelling/narrative techniques of what modern day cinema has conditioned you to, you won't find a more compelling or palpably emotional filmmaker than Wong Kar-Wai.

1) Brokeback Mountain - Talk show monologue fodder it may be, but please don't ever dismiss this film as the Hollywood darling that merely brought the gay love story into the mainstream. The fact that it didn't win best picture is just even more evidence of the Academy's incompetence, but in some ways, their dismissal can be seen as a long term blessing as films like Raging Bull and Citizen Kane have proven. Regardless of this kind of baggage, Brokeback Mountain is an incredibly potent examination of love lost and the potentially perilous effects of a socially taboo relationship. Never in my darkest hour did I think I'd say Heath Ledger gave the best performance of the year, but I'll be damned if it didn't actually come true. Brokeback Mountain makes you care so much about its characters that you genuinely feel the pain and heartbreak that they feel. It's quite a feat and its indelible imprint on our collective conscience makes it more than worthy of being number one on anyone's top ten list.

Runners-Up: Cache, A History of Violence, 3-Iron, Good Night, And Good Luck, Elizabethtown, King Kong

Individual Awards:
Best Actor: Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain: What a shock. I've never liked Heath Ledger nor thought him to be a capable actor, so him giving such a nuanced, heartbreaking performance shocked me as much as the next person.
Runners-Up: Bruno Ganz - Downfall, Tony Leung - 2046, David Strathairn - Good Night, And Good Luck, Joaquin Phoenix - Walk the Line, Joseph-Gordon Levitt - Mysterious Skin

Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line: If only I could convince her to stop taking on generic Julia Roberts-esque roles. The girl can act. She proved it before in Election and further proves that that performance was not a deal-with-the-devil kind of arrangement.
Runners-Up: Toni Collette - In Her Shoes, Keira Knightley - Pride and Prejudice, Q'orianka Kilcher - The New World

Best Supporting Actor: Paul Giamatti - Cinderella Man: Not a particularly strong category this year, but it is a nice excuse to give props to Giamatti who, with each performance, continues to make a case for being one of the best actors of his generation.
Runners-Up: Jake Gyllenhall - Brokeback Mountain, Ed Harris - A History of Violence, Jason Schwartzman - Shopgirl

Best Supporting Actress: Ziyi Zhang - 2046: I've never been a big fan of Zhang's considering up to this point, she's pretty much just a pretty face stealing Gong Li's thunder and I'm not down with that. However, leave it to Wong Kar-Wai to find a way to make her bare her soul and her performance in 2046 was a true eye-opener for me. Just stay out of Gong's way.
Runners-Up: Amy Adams - Junebug, Frances McDormand - North Country, Robin Wright Penn - Nine Lives

Other Miscellaneous Awards (or lack thereof):
Worst Film of the Year: What can one say about a year that included such worthy candidates as The Producers, The Aristocrats, Wolf Creek, Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior, etc.? That doesn't even include an utterly disgusting entry like Rob Zombie's The Devil's Rejects (I guess rape is something Zombie thinks makes a horror movie seem "cool") or the source of my Oscar misery, Crash. Nope, this year's most dreadful movie-watching experience was The Longest Yard. Cliches abound about as much as the homophobia and oh yeah, it's not funny at all. I went into this movie to get out of the heat, there were a lack of decent options, and Adam Sandley is usually good for at least a few good laughs. Shortly afterwards, I wished I had stayed out sunbathing nude on the asphalt parking lot.

Most Underrated/Underappreciated Film of the Year: Elizabethtown - I had a hard time understanding how this film went largely unseen and uncared for by both critics and the general public alike. To me, this had every element of a Cameron Crowe film. Likeable characters, hilarious sequences, excellent dialogue, and touching moments. He even managed to make Orlando Bloom tolerable. Crowe deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for that feat. Oh well, instead of lamenting the past, let's move forward and hope more people will discover this gem on video/DVD. Runners-up: Melinda & Melinda, The Beat That My Heart Skipped, The Weather Man, The Brothers Grimm, The Ice Harvest, An Unfinished Life

Best Performance Within A 10-minute Sequence: Robin Wright-Penn in Nine Lives. The film is composed of 9 vignettes with marginal relationship to each other, some are effective and some aren't. In Wright-Penn's sequence, her performance is so mesmerizing and you get so wrapped up in her character that it's almost impossible to believe the length of her segment is the equivalent to an interview on the Tonight Show.

Crappiest Film that Scared the Piss Outta Me: One Missed Call. For a film that had some of the most pedestrian writing this side of Friday the 13th Part 18: Jason Gets a Pension, I was amazed that I was scared shitless at times. Thank the lord for small blessings, kids.

Film that should have been so much better: Sin City. We all know how much this film rocks in the visual sense, but the film itself...not so compelling. Elijah Wood's character is pretty interesting in a Hannibal Lecter kinda way, but other than that, when you have a cast that includes Clive Owen, Benicio Del Toro, Rosario Dawson, and a broken down Mickey Rourke, then you really have no excuse for the film to not move at a Pulp Fiction-like momentum.

Schoollll'ssss Out For Summer!

2006-07-30T11:37:00.000-05:00

Thoughts on a couple movies I've recently seen:

Superman Returns - As a kid, I was a big fan of these movies and made it a point to watch the first two before seeing this new one since Bryan Singer's version is supposed to take place after Superman II. After rewatching the first two, I was reminded of how fantastic they are. The limited special effects do little to deter from the overall enjoyment of the films because the story is ripe with interesting characters that are worth giving a shit about. Not to mention, perfect casting was in order here as Christopher Reeve seemed absolutely born to play Superman and Gene Hackman delivers the kind of scene-chewing gusto necessary to make Lex Luthor a villain that is more interesting than the standard mustache-twirling, menacing-laugh-inducing psycho we're usually subjected to in these kinds of films. It just goes to show that while special effects eventually become dated, good acting and proficient character development never go out of style. In Bryan Singer's film, it's hard to openly hate the film because you can tell he earnestly tried to do the franchise justice. However, Singer really adds nothing to the series that hasn't already been accomplished by Donner and Lester's versions. I can't fault Brandon Routh, who gives such a sincere performance, or Kevin Spacey for essentially doing what Hackman did with Luthor (albeit, he did make him a little more diabolical), but the story itself does nothing to earn its keep. Kate Bosworth may be a better looking Lois Lane, but no way in hell is she better than Margot Kidder was in the role. Margot Kidder had that fast-talking swagger that was so characteristically Lois Lane, whereas in Singer's film, Bosworth takes on the stereotypical damsel-in-distress role waiting for someone to save her. Maybe that's the script's doing and it's not Bosworth's fault, but either way, Kidder and Reeve had great chemistry and you actively rooted for them. In Returns, I didn't really give a shit about THESE characters. The only reason I cared in the first place was because I kept thinking about the original films and how much I rooted for those characters. I like Bryan Singer and I can definitely appreciate his intentions/effort, but this may have been a case of letting sleeping dogs lie.

Lady in the Water - The venom being spewed in the direction of Shyamalan's latest is surprising to me. Although, maybe it shouldn't be since despite the reputation of being able to spit acid in print every which way possible, critics very rarely have shown the ability to take what they are able to dish out. The backlash stems from the movie critic character played by Bob Balaban. A character that Shyamalan has no problem um...disposing of. I remember critics bitching about the same thing with Todd Solondz's Storytelling. Get over it. It's unbecoming of you to reflexively criticize one guy for doing the very thing you are doing. It's his movie and it's a very small part of the movie at that, so let it go and let your insecurities play out through your work like everyone else. That being said, I enjoyed LitW. Certainly not for everyone, but if nothing else, you gotta applaud the guy's ambition. I've never been Shyamalan's number one fan, but I've always said that if you're gonna make a failure, at least make it interesting. And while I don't think that LitW is a failure, most would beg to differ, but I challenge them to honestly answer this question before destroying this movie in their reviews, would you rather watch John Tucker Must Die? That's right. Count your blessings.

next generation goddess of hollywood and the quest for inspiration

2006-06-03T08:39:00.000-05:00

I watched Pride and Prejudice last night. Doesn't seem like a big deal right? Especially considering that they've made like 10 of them (no seriously, look it up, that's not me being a smartass...they really have made that many), but I had heard good things and I gotta say I was quite impressed. Newbie director Joe Wright clearly has some chops as I didn't know it was possible to stylize and/or add visual flair to a period piece, which is part of what is wrong with the majority of period pieces (or at least my initial interest in them). Of course, period pieces aren't supposed to be a cinematographer's dream job a la David Fincher or Jean-Pierre Jeunet, but considering film is a visual medium, it never hurts to spruce up the aesthetic a little bit. But I digress. The real thing that stood out to me about P&P was Keira Knightley. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the next great Hollywood actress. This is your mission, Keira, should you choose to accept it. It is there for the taking. She has the chops for it. Now the only question is whether she will focus on the "Hollywood" aspect or the "actress" aspect. Obviously, I'm rooting for the latter, especially since it's not like there's a lack of "pretty faces who need to get a clue" out on the West Coast. It's go time, Keira. Are you going to be Julia Roberts or Julianne Moore? Jennifer Love-Hewitt or Jennifer Connelly? Sarah Jessica Parker or Sarah Polley? You get the point. Choose wisely, Keira. Don't disappoint me.

Now on to other matters. One of the drawbacks of being immersed in the Netflix universe is that there is no possible way to be consistently blown away because quite frankly, there aren't that many good films out there. At least there aren't many within the sample I've been subjected to, considering I'm finishing up with the movies of 2005 and since I've already seen most of what I want to see or thought might be good, the dregs are pretty much what's left. I guess the one advantage to all of this is that it really makes me appreciate the films that knock me on my ass. Let's take a stroll down memory lane, shall we?

- I want to see a film that makes me want to dig deeper into the mystery like the first time I saw Mulholland Drive and all I could do was try to figure out what the fuck David Lynch was thinking. I talked about it nonstop and before all was said and done, I saw the film 6 times in the theater, each time taking someone new just because I relished the experience of witnessing someone get mindfucked like I did the first time.

- I want to see a film that has a performance so powerful that there are literally moments in the film that give me goosebumps because that particular actor/actress is so in the zone. The rest of the movie might be good or might be bad, but it doesn't matter because the performance overshadows everything else. The first time I saw Gong Li's performance in To Live, I was completely and utterly mesmerized. It's a great film, but her performance is part of that greatness. Her scene at the end is so heartbreaking and tragic that I almost watch the film solely for that reason.

- I want to see a film that scares the living shit out of me like the first time I saw The Exorcist. The film that redefined what it means to be terrified. I never want to see it again, but am nonetheless grateful for having experienced it.

- I want to see an intense action film that makes me want to run through the streets screaming "Where's the fuckin' van?!" as I shoot an AK47 into the air for no apparent reason. Terminator 2 was and still is this film for me.

- I want to see a film that is so intensely disturbing it puts me in a somber mood the rest of the day where I have no desire to talk, eat, or do anything, let alone sleep. I want disturbing images to plague my thoughts like the first time I saw Taxi Driver.

- I want to see a film that makes me laugh so hard I feel like I'm going to throw up. I want to see something like Dumb and Dumber that nearly made me piss my pants the first time I saw it.

- I want to see a film that makes me hate life the way that The War Zone did.

- I want to see a film that makes me love life and look optimistically at everything the way that Wonder Boys does every time I watch it.

- I want to see a film that breaks my heart the way In the Mood for Love does.

- I want to see a film that makes me question my puny existence and bow before the awesomeness of nature the way that 2001: Space Odyssey does.

But to paraphrase Jason Lee in Vanilla Sky: "The sweet is never as sweet without the sour and I know sour, which helps me appreciate the sweet."

bleh

2006-05-09T01:27:00.000-05:00

It was only a matter of time before I hit a lull in my Netflix viewing extravaganza as films like The Kingdom of Heaven, Proof, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, etc. have proven that it's not all peachy in the glorious world of Netflix heaven. I guess if nothing else, it adds some levity to 2005, but even then, it sucks when you're trying to relax and enjoy a film only to be sidetracked by dull characters, lobotomized scripts, and uninspired direction. I haven't seen anything that I really could get behind since maybe Nobody Knows and Serenity, but even those weren't spectacular and even then, I watched Chungking Express again recently just to be reminded of what moving, inspired filmmaking is like.

I know I already wrote my drunken ode to Wong Kar-Wai, but goddamn, when you compare how he is able to fashion a palpable connection between the audience and his characters by maximizing the potential of aesthetics and a minimalized script, it constantly amazes me that these other directors and screenwriters cannot do the same with bloated budgets and supposed "experts" at their craft tinkering with every aspect of production. While it's true that they don't get the benefit of utilizing the talents of such masters as Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung, or Christopher Doyle, you would hope that there's enough talent out there to create comparable work. Just look at someone like Orlando Bloom's character in The Kingdom of Heaven, who is someone that is so noble that you need a potent gag suppressant in order to tolerate some of his character's actions/dialogue that it's ridiculous to accept this person as someone to care about, let alone root for, for an entire 145 minutes.

While I am not someone who turns his nose up at "Hollywood" for the sake of being cool or "intelligent" (in fact, I am a consistent advocate for the merits that it has to offer), I can't help but feel disdain for the system that currently feeds Americans their cinema while Asian cinema continues to push the envelope and encourage all forms of meaningful filmmaking.

tribute to a modern day icon

2006-05-02T04:34:00.000-05:00

Oh how do I love Wong Kar-Wai...let me count the ways:

- I love that he makes films out of pure, unadulterated emotion with no script.

- I love that he is perhaps the most visually gifted filmmaker of this (or maybe?) any generation.

- I love that he uses the same and yet, most gifted of asian actors for all of his films, including Maggie Cheung and Tony Leung.

- I love that he understands so well, maybe more than anyone, the sentiments of heartbreak as well as the feelings of love and loss. It is never some trite, contrived version of human emotion.

- I love that the last lines of Chungking Express are so simple yet so perfect.

- I love that he repeatedly uses pop songs throughout an entire film to emphasize their effect and context.

- I love that In the Mood for Love hits all the right notes and pains your heart just to watch the two main characters interact.

- I love that 2046 is so strangely compelling, yet heartbreaking.

- I love that when I am watching one of his films, I feel every sentiment he is trying to convey with all of the lucidity imaginable.

- I love that he is one the best filmmakers working today.

good year

2006-04-17T23:33:00.000-05:00

I just realized that I'm already developing a bad habit of actually writing reviews of some of these films and I don't want this to become all reviews b/c first of all, I don't have the chops to write a full-on competent review and secondly, this is mainly to be random musings on all things film-related. It's not like anyone sees this anyway, but I'm writing to my pretend audience. The one that needs to exist in real life so I can make a living watching movies all day and then share what I thought about them. Who doesn't want to get paid to say what they think not to mention validated financially that your opinion actually "matters"?

Mr. and Mrs. Smith is way smarter and wittier than it has any right to be. The only drawback is that as a result of the aforementioned wittiness, the action comes across as mundane and tedious, until the final sequences (mainly the minivan chase scene). Part of what I love about the interaction between the two main characters is that **spoilers follow** once they find out they're both assassins, they immediately think the other is only casing the other person as a job, albeit a very long 6 year job, but nonetheless, a job. In reality, they actually connected on some level outside of their respective careers, but due to this newfound wrinkle of finding out what they REALLY do, they are suspicious of each other and neither wants to budge. The lack of communication and overt expression of their emotions over this is what makes their relationship so compelling b/c it's something we've all experienced. We've all been in a situation where we felt we knew what was really going on and that we were on to the other person, but were too busy focusing on ourselves to actually realize that the other person thought the same thing about us. The biggest key to communication is the willingness to open up and try to see the other person's side. I think the metaphor that the film uses for this concept works pretty effectively. That's not the only thing, the film has plenty to say about marriage and relationships in general. Flawless it ain't, but it worked for me.
Also watched Three...Extremes and while I was disappointed given the pedigree involved, I will give Takashi Miike credit for taking seemingly boring ideas as scripted on a sheet of paper and making them suitably creepy and effective. His segment in Three...Extremes uses a plethora of horror movie cliches (girl walking into an eerily empty room, dead relative appearing in unexpected places), but manages to make them work because he uses surprising restraint and his lack of music is especially disturbing.
Still have a little ways to go (maybe 15-20 films left) 'til I'm done with the 2005 crop of films, but I think I can already say that it was the best year for film since 1999. My only complaint is that there are very few masterpieces, but those are few and far between, otherwise they wouldn't be masterpieces I guess. Even then, my top three are secure, but with everything else, we'll have to see how everything shakes down when it's time to make the "best of" list.

bastards

2006-04-17T13:56:00.000-05:00

I swear I better start racking up some kickbacks b/c of so many high-profile folks stealin' my shit. First, we had Jon Stewart stealing my Academy Awards joke not ten minutes after I had already posted it for the world to see on the internet and now we have this. A single day after my Curtis Hanson hero-worshipping, the IMDB decides to exploit the little man, read on:

"Is there anything Curtis Hanson can't do? The director who made silk purses out of sow's-ear thrillers The Hand That Rocks the Cradle and The River Wild, revitalized modern-day film noir with L.A. Confidential, went upscale-bohemian with Wonder Boys and then gritty-urban with 8 Mile, has taken another familiar formula and given it an amazing shot in the arm with In Her Shoes. As he's done with all his previous movies, Hanson has fashioned something pretty incredible out of pretty ordinary material and given it a life and energy that sends it head and shoulders above any expectations you may have had. Not only is it amazing that In Her Shoes works better than you expect it to, it's proactively good, a stellar accomplishment in an era of moviemaking when "not bad" is what passes for high praise for most mainstream Hollywood films..."

Yeah, In Her Shoes was their "IMDB Movie of the Day". It's all well and good, but c'mon IMDB, give credit where credit is due, I don't mind sharing.

Curtis Hanson

2006-04-16T17:02:00.000-05:00

Curtis Hanson is one of those directors that can take just about any subject matter and make it as entertaining as humanly possible. I mean, the guy made a freakin' Eminem movie somewhat decent for chrissakes, THAT requires talent. One of the things I love about Hanson is that while his direction doesn't exactly break new ground, it is always so surehanded, there are very few missteps emotionally or tonally. Take his latest film, In Her Shoes, for example, it is not on par with his masterworks, L.A. Confidential and the best film of 2000 Wonder Boys, but he takes what is typically a manipulative tearfest and manages to make a funny, poignant motion picture that never becomes too cloying or over the top (well, maybe in a scene or two, but it's negligible). Now, I'm not saying that IHS is sublte, b/c subtlety is not one its strong points, but hey, not everything has to be dramatically underplayed a la Lost in Translation in order to be effective (even if it is no Lost in Translation). IHS works because Toni Collette is phenomenal and is more than ably supported by Cameron Diaz and Shirley Maclaine. Another strong point is that just because the subject matter is fertile ground for hokey manipulation and maudlin sentimentality, Hanson manages to mostly avoid those potential pratfalls by never letting the picture get away from him. Just when you think it is about to go off the deep end, Hanson reels us back in, it's almost like he knows exactly when and how to check himself. He has seen other dramas and taken note of when, where, and how they went wrong and he has disciplined and trained himself not to make the same mistakes. It reminded me of another film, The Cider House Rules, which had the opportunity in so many places to go down the wrong path, but it never did because Lasse Hallstrom knew how to play it just right. It just goes to show that the subject matter doesn't have to be original and groundbreaking in order to craft an effectively moving film. It just requires a director who knows what the hell he (or she) is doing...oh and a good script, actors, cinematography, score and all that other stuff matters too, I s'pose.

the dawn of a new era

2006-04-14T17:34:00.000-05:00

Ah, now this is what I needed all along. A place where my film obsession can blossom unfettered and where guilt has no place since if you are subjected to my interminable ranting, it is by choice and not because you unwittingly became part of my "friends list" on livejournal. Speaking of, my livejournal page is responsible for the newest incarnation of my inter-whining. For the past 5 years, livejournal has been my home, but realized that for the past year or so, all I ever felt compelled to write about were movies. Given the fact that it was usually something like an end of the year top ten list or Academy Awards coverage, I felt bad for those on my friends list that had to scroll through a bunch of crap they probably don't give a shit about. Granted, I posted once in a blue moon, but still...either way, here I can post guilt-free and since Netflix has become my new teacher, mother, secret lover, a whole new world of film watching has been given to me. So, here's to a long summer of catching up on old classics I may have missed, brushing up on the Takashi Miike filmography, rewatching old Woody Allen, and of course, hating Crash 'til the end of time.