The Sweet Stuff

Need more evidence that Louis C.K. kicks ass? Oh, there it is!



I also just watched an utterly phenomenal film that I somehow managed to miss in the year of our lord that was 2005. It's a German film entitled Head-On and is kinda like what the love child of Wong Kar-Wai and Guy Ritchie (the good version) might resemble. Do yourself a favor and check it out, unless you're content to only feast upon that which Emperor Hollywood feeds you.



Finally, I feel I would be remiss if I didn't mention how this season of Big Love is one of the best seasons of television I have ever seen. If you enjoy light speed narrative momentum, top notch acting/writing, and using your brain, then you need to put this bad boy on your DVR stat. Just trust me.

Oscars 2009

Looking back, I just realized that this will be the 5th year in a row of my live Oscar commentary. To think that this all began with a short little hourly commentary on Live Journal and has now exploded into the global, editorial empire you now see before you today is very humbling. I'd just like to thank my family, Chi, Pants, Jesus...and I could go on forever...ok really, let's go on with it!

I guess I should throw some predictions out there. The past two years have not been terribly kind to my ego. Each of the past two years, I've gone 12 for 21 and it usually follows a pattern of: nailing all the major awards (usually with one exception) and getting fucked over by a blockbuster I thought was beloved to sweep the technical awards but in actuality wasn't. I yearn to return to my glory days of 2006 when I went a hearty 15 for 21. Also, if anyone wants to start the Louis Gossett Jr. pool, be my guests. In fact, I insist. Anyway, on with the predictions:

Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Director: Danny Boyle - Slumdog Millionaire
Best Actor: Mickey Rourke - The Wrestler
Best Actress: Kate Winslet - The Reader
Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight
Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz - Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Best Original Screenplay: Milk
Best Adapted Screenplay: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Animated Feature: Wall-E
Best Original Score: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Original Song: Slumdog Millionaire - "Jai Ho"
Best Editing: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Cinematography: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Art Direction: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Costume Design: The Duchess
Best Makeup: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Sound Mixing: The Dark Knight
Best Sound Editing: The Dark Knight
Best Visual Effects: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Foreign Film: The Class
Best Documentary Feature: Man on Wire

So we're looking at 5 wins for Slumdog and 4 of the more technical nature for ol' Ben Button. Benjamin Button, if you fuck me over, there will be blood. *rim shot* I have this feeling that this is an easy Oscars to predict, but by virtue of me saying that, I know I'm gonna get screwed and only get 4 categories right. So let's get on with it and watch Wolverine gay it up!

7:13pm CST:

• I get that they need uber-gay guys to comment on what everyone is wearing, but I really think they should entertain the idea of getting someone who could be classified as "sports bar guy", but you must have him in bro-down mode. Think about it: "Yo Jamie Foxx, bro, what are these duds you're wearing? Right on bro, I love it, I love it. That is a sweet tux, Hugh. Right on bro, *fist pound*, take it easy man. Late."

• It's nice to see Viola Davis reppin' on the carpet sans snot running out of her nose. She cleans up well. Who knew a piece of Kleenex could make such a world of difference?

• I think it's safe to say that Penelope Cruz is the hottest woman on the planet who features such distinct bird-like qualities. Her face has a beak. Just look at it.

• Ok, is anyone else thinking the same thing? Where in the fuck is Louis Gossett, Jr?! If the superstar of Diggstown does not make an appearance, I'm gonna be pissed. I don't know what Oscar commentators are gonna do without the requisite "safe" black guy to make remarks about. It's an old Oscar standby, "Just look at Louis Gossett, Jr in a blah blah blah suit, the epitome of first class". If they don't have that, the whole operation crumbles.

• Alright, an interview with Judd Apatow, Seth Rogen, and Leslie Mann...it's about as Jewish as your television can get.

• I also gotta say, I'm not terribly optimistic about Hugh Jackman as host tonight. I don't know why they don't just stick with Steve Martin or Billy Crystal every year. Steve Martin only needs a couple of months out of the year to make a zany comic farce with either Queen Latifah or some plot involving a lot of children (or both), but other than that, he's available. So is Jon Stewart. Hugh Jackman seems like a nice, affable guy, but he's also Mr. Tony, so you know what that means...lots of sweet singing and dancing. Can't fucking wait.

7:31pm CST:

• Wow, we're about 3 seconds into it and he's already singing. God, I hate being right all the time. It's my cross to bear.

• I guess shit like this is funny to old people and probably rich white people. I'm not even an Oscar critic. I freaking LOVE the Oscars and am not ashamed of it. I'm the ultimate Oscar apologist. People complain that the telecasts are too long, I wish they were longer b/c I love film and if the only thing we can get to celebrate every year is an epic self-congratulatory circle jerk amongst Hollywood's richest and most beautiful, then so be it. Sign me up. All that being said, even I, the harbinger of all things Oscar, thinks this sucks. Ouch, Hugh.

• While this interminable opening prattles on, I want to give a shout-out to the Independent Spirit Awards. If you find the Oscars to be ridiculous and overblown and too much for you, the ISAs may be the perfect antidote for you. It's a lot more laid-back, they're allowed to cuss, and surly bastards like Philip Seymour Hoffman and Charlie Kauffman are always attending so you know there's never a dull moment. For future reference, it's on the Saturday before the Oscars every year on IFC and AMC. Need more evidence that they kick ass? The Wrestler won best picture and director last night. Yeah. Take that.

• I just spotted Philip Seymour Hoffman in the crowd and he's still wearing his beanie. God, I love that man.

• Want a good prop bet? What would you say the over-under is for Oscar montages over the course of the evening? We've already got one in the bag so if the line was 1/2 and you picked the over, you're a genius.

• Alright! Supporting Actress right off the bat? I'm diggin' this. If it were up to me, Viola Davis would win this for completely owning the entire film and only being in it for pretty much one scene. I think she has a shot, but I'm thinking this is Cruz's to lose. She won most of the precursors and I think the Academy wants to give her some love after losing for her work in Volver. As a sentimental favorite, I love Taraji P. Henson, but unfortunately for her, the nomination is the award. Amy Adams seems like she's on the Oscar short list to be nominated every year, so she'll get her due eventually. I'm not liking the lack of film clips. I understand that this method of sucking off each nominee in front of the world is a great ego boost, but I want my clips dammit!

• And there we go, Penelope Cruz is your winner and I am 1 for 1. This kicks ass b/c this was the most unpredictable major category to me and that means I'm off to a roaring start. I don't have a problem with her winning b/c she was excellent in Volver and got overlooked, plus it meant that my prediction was right and who doesn't like to be right?

7:53pm CST:

• Original Screenplay already? Wow, I heard they were really revamping the Oscar broadcast this year, but I didn't expect this much change. It's not bad, I kinda dig it. I think this is Milk's to lose as I think it's a film that Hollywood will want to reward somehow. And there ya go, right again, I'm 2 for 2. I would have gone with the criminally underrated In Bruges or Wall-E.

• I love Hollywood political grandstanding, it's awesomely stupid. Now time for Adapted Screenplay, somebody better fire up that Slumdog train, it's about to start chuggin'! 3 for 3 now as Slumdog takes it down. I probably would have given it to Frost/Nixon, but this is Slumdog's night and it shall slay all in its path. I don't mind, it's a very good film. This whole operation is fucked since the two best films of the year got minimal love. What are these two films you speak of, Jeff? Well, I'll tell you grasshopper. They are none other than The Dark Knight and The Wrestler.

• I love Jack Black, he still knows how to bring it. Speaking of animation, with the exception of Pixar's usual output of genius, the overall landscape has become over-saturated. It's like every fucking weekend, we have some new animal that's gonna talk and fly and learn life lessons. Also, I should mention that Animated Feature is the most guaranteed, surefire, bet your firstborn on it lock of the night with Wall-E. And what do ya know, Joe, we have a winner. 4 for 4 now. I am kicking ass. If Benji Button gets the technical love I think it will, you can all buy me drinks and take me out as my Oscar score will be through the roof. I'll let you make eye contact.

• Most who have read my blogs in the past know this, but I'll go ahead and let everyone know I don't predict the shorts. Predicting the shorts is like betting on an Appalachian State vs. Florida A&M Tuesday night ESPN college football game...it's only for losers and degenerates. Just for grins, gotta love how the Petit Cubes movie won for Best Animated Short. The clip was a guy laying brick (or I guess, cubes). Talk about an action-packed thrill ride! Then the guy who made it accepts the award and manages to speak entire sentences at the exact same decibel level! No higher or lower. He seems like fun, I want to go to Vegas with him.

8:13pm CST:

• Art Direction. Uh Ohhhhh! Looks like my Benji Button technical award prognostication is off to a roaring start! 5 for 5 now. Dammit, why oh why, did I not enter that "Beat Roger Ebert" contest? I've been looking to whoop his ass for a long time now. Anyone know what Art Direction actually is? I didn't think so. For the record, I know it got a bit of a tepid reception, but I thought Ben Button was very good. I felt that the first half was stronger than the second half, but overall, very good. David Fincher always comes through and watching his evolution from kinetic, intense filmmaker to thoughtful, deliberate filmmaker has been fascinating.

• Costume Design. I am owning this show. 6 for 6 as The Duchess takes it down like John Malkovich in Rounders. Little Oscar tip I've learned over the years...if it's Costume Design and there's a period piece involved, even a little seen one like The Duchess, bet the house on it. People are dumb. They see big frilly costumes and they put a check mark next to it, it's that simple. No one ever said Hollywood was smart.

• Best Makeup. The Benji Button technicial award pain train keeps gaining momentum. 7 for 7 now.

• A montage dedicated to romance? Wow.

• At least they showed clips from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Almost makes it all worth it.

• Ben Stiller is a funny guy, but this Joaquin Phoenix bit was done last night at the Independent Spirit Awards. Nice try, Ben! Is Natalie Portman still 12 years old? Also, the first drink has been poured!

• Cinematography. This is an interesting category as it directly pits Ben Button against Slumdog. Even The Dark Knight could be a sleeper, but if I'm right about Ben Button and it's technical adoration, this will be the tell-tale category, I think. Well there we go as Slumdog takes it. This should be a sign to all that if you didn't believe it before, believe it now b/c Slumdog is going to destroy everything in its path tonight. I'm now 7 for 8.
  

• I have to take issue with this win too. Maybe I'm beginning to feel some of that Slumdog backlash I've been hearing so much about? I don't know. But it's almost like they were thinking about cinematography, they saw Slumdog, and they were like "Oh, India! It must be great cinematography!" Whereas like every David Fincher film, Ben Button was a dynamic piece of work with phenomenal technical acumen. Bleh. Or maybe I'm just bitter b/c my attempt at perfection was thwarted.

8:45pm CST:

• The Judd Apatow-Pineapple Express short film was just what the doctor ordered. If only the rest of this shit was as funny. Speaking of, James Franco's performance in PE should not be overlooked. Doing good comedy is not easy and he aced it.

• Don't say I didn't warn you. Hugh Jackman = Mr. Tony = way too much singing and dancing.

• Jesus christtttttttttt, when will it endddddddddddd??????

• I just heard them say "motion of the ocean" as one of the lines in the song. Wow.

• I won't lie. I make fun of the montages, but a sick, filthy, disgusting part of me actually derives some enjoyment from them. It's almost like watching an old sports reel on ESPN, reliving classic moments in the medium. It's difficult not to enjoy something like that on at least a minor level.

• And here we go with Supporting Actor. Get ready, Ledger family. I love how they bring out 5 past best supporting actors from years past with icons like Alan Arkin and Christopher Walken...oh, and of course, Cuba Gooding, Jr. The acclaimed star of Boat Trip. It still breaks my heart to think that Heath Ledger is gone and Freddie Prinze, Jr. is still roaming this planet and poisoning celluloid at every turn. As my main man Billy Joel once said, "Only the good die young". The worst part was that he was really hitting his stride, at least this will be a fitting tribute to him.
  

• I love that Cuba is the one presenting Robert Downey Jr's nomination...he's the "safest" black guy they could find. Good times all around. Although I have yet to see Revolutionary Road, Michael Shannon will always have a special place in my heart for his kickass/disgusting work in Bug.

• And there we have it as Heath Ledger takes it. 8 for 9 now. Is it just me or does everyone look like they're going to cry? This is the saddest damn thing. And don't even get me started on the fact that he should have won for Brokeback Mountain, but we don't speak of that year and the curse/famine it has wreaked upon our once great lands.

• Ok, that was depressing as hell. Time for Man on Wire to win and have that nut Philippe Petit cheer us all up! I liked MOW, but I didn't love it. I'm actually surprised it is as universally loved as it is. Either way, I don't mind it winning Best Doc, assuming it does.

• Good first line from Bill Maher, "Great, everyone's crying and I get to go on!". Reminds me of a classic C-81 show where we were invited to play a show, not realizing it was a memorial service for a dead teenage girl...after everyone watched sad videos and told of their favorite memories, we had to go on stage and play. It was awesome. But, I digress.

• There we go, Man on Wire takes Best Doc. 9 for 10 now. Get up there Philippe!!! This man MUST SPEAK. There he goes. Of course that fool does a fucking magic trick, followed by balancing the Oscar on his face, god bless that man!

9:20pm CST:

• An Action of 2008 montage? But of course, Academy.

• It was actually a pretty good year for action/adventure movies, esp. considering if I can get one good one per year, then I'm happy. But this year, we had Iron Man, Wanted, The Incredible Hulk, The Dark Knight and even the new Indiana Jones, which really wasn't bad, it was just a classic example of a film crumbling in the public eye due to colossal/unreasonable expectations. C'mon folks, be realistic/reasonable!

• Good recovery for Benji Button as it takes Visual Effects, 10 for 11 now. It makes sense, the entire film centered around one remarkable special effect. Even so, while I agree with the decision, it also reflects the fact that the Academy is a loonnggggg way from taking a comic book film seriously.

• Best Sound Editing goes to The Dark Knight, back to kicking ass at 11 for 12 now. This is about as legit as The Dark Knight is going to be as far as Father Oscar is concerned. I think it'll be this year's The Bourne Ultimatum/The Matrix. A film that gets nothing significant, but a host of minor technical awards like the aforementioned Sound Editing award.

• Ok, so let me get this straight. TDK wins Sound Editing, but freaking Slumdog gets Sound Mixing?! Whatever. 11 for 13. And someone tell this dude to get ahold of himself, it's an Academy Award for Sound Mixing that is clearly a case of coattailing on the part of Slumdog as it appears this movie is going to destroy everyone's face tonight. Haha, I love how he spent his whole speech trying not to faint like a 12 year old girl at a Backstreet Boys concert and as a result, the other two guys didn't get to say anything. What an egomaniac. I think I may end up hating Slumdog by the end of the night. Backlash in full effect!

• Best Editing was easy. Another rule of thumb, culled from Jeff's Encyclopedia of Oscar Knowledge and How to Win Your Office Oscar Pool, anytime you have a film like Slumdog that is steamrolling to victory, it will have editing in the bag. Book it. 12 for 14 now. I only got 12 right TOTAL in each of the past two years, so that gives you an idea of how I'm performing this year. Who wants to touch me?

9:46pm CST:

• Lifetime Achievement award for Jerry Lewis. *birds chirping*

• Anyway, moving on...Best Score SHOULD go to Ben Button, but it won't. Which is too bad because it's a great score. It'll surely go to Slumdog because it's Indian-influenced which makes the Academy appear more culturally hip/sensitive, so that white guilt will drive it. I love the Oscars, but boy do I hate the politics. Go with what deserves to win you ass clowns. Wishful thinking, I know. I do like this way of presenting each nomination, one of the few presentations that has been an improvement over past telecasts. Otherwise, I like to stick with the old school formula as far as how the Oscars run.

• Did Alicia Keys put on a plastic face? I'm serious, that thing isn't moving.
  

• Of course, freaking Slumdog. 13 for 15. At least I knew to expect it.

• I must say that the Oscars is a lot less fun when you don't have a film to really get behind. The two best films weren't even nominated for Best Picture and most of the awards were easy to call (or so I believed and it looks like I was right), so there's no suspense and no one to really root for. I guess I got spoiled by last year when we had two bona fide American masterpieces with No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood getting lots of love. Now, it just feels like going through the motions. At least they condensed these three shitty songs into one little medley. Get ready for another Slumdog lovefest, by the way.

• I guess I'm just not impressed by masses of people dancing. It has never done anything for me. My first thought is always, wow you put a lot of effort into something that I don't give a shit about (esp. since ya know, it's all about me). Also, let me say that the fact that the Boss' "The Wrestler" was ineligible for Best Song is a crock of shit. It's a great song and fits the film better than any of these pieces of crap. BTW, what did I tell you? Slumdog again for Jai Hooooooooooooooo. 14 for 16 now. I wonder who is going to win best picture? Seriously, I have no clue.

10:06pm CST:

• Whoa. Ok, NO ONE saw that one coming. It was a two horse race all the way between The Class and Waltz with Bashir for Best Foreign Film and lo and behold, Departures from Japan takes it, very underdog of them. 14 for 17.

• I don't have a problem with this upset b/c Best Foreign Film is one of the few categories where everyone who votes has to have watched all the nominees so at least you feel like you're getting a more honest winner. BTW, that was a sweet acceptance speech. One day when I win my lifetime achievement award for being awesome, I'm gonna say the same thing, "I'm berry berry happy!". The end.

• Ah yes, the classic Dead People Montage. I wish they did these in order of importance or most popular, that'd piss a lot of people off. Roy Scheider died? I had no idear. Oh Ricardo Montalban, we hardly knew ye. Stan Winston died too?! Damn I'm out of the loop. Anthony Minghella dying was a definite tragedy. He still had good stuff in him. And don't get me started on Paul Newman...that right there is fucking depressing. If you haven't, watched Paul Newman's films from the 60s and 70s, that is greatness in action.

• Wow, Best Director is being presented early, that's weird. Anyone wanna guess this one? C'mon, give it a whirl. Man, one day, David Fincher needs to win Best Director. THAT would be a sweet surprise. Fucking shocker, Danny Boyle takes it. 15 for 18.

• I won't lie, I am having a severe case of Slumdog-backlash-itis. But don't let that fool you, it is a very good movie and Danny Boyle, while I wouldn't consider him an elite director, he is ambitious and takes chances, so at least he's interesting. All things considered, I should be proud of the Academy for propelling a film like Slumdog to sweep the awards it has, I mean, it's not exactly the stereotypical Oscar bait. I guess my overall lack of enthusiasm has more to do with what a boring year it was for film and for the fact that The Dark Knight and The Wrestler didn't get their proper due. I think if Mickey Rourke wins and gives a speech that is anything remotely close to what he did at the ISAs, I'll be happy. Even so, if Sean Penn wins, at least there's a good chance he'll say something art-fagulous and pissy...gotta love these temperamental, artistic types!

10:26pm CST:

• Best Actress is an interesting race, but given that we have this new method of propping up Hollywood millionaires for announcing nominees this year, we should see a lot of cry babies. Should be a blast.

• That being said, I don't think I'd be upset with any of the nominees winning. They're all spectacular. Quick sidenote, WOW Sophia Loren! I always thought she was staving off old age pretty well, but I guess she has finally gotten over the hill. She apparently fell asleep at a Darque Tan for 8 weeks and then had a vile of botox injected everywhere. Yikes.

• Kate Winslet takes it, long overdue. She's only one of the best actresses on the planet, it's never too late, Academy! 16 for 19.

• While I'm not crazy about The Reader as a film, Kate Winslet was terrific even if it really was a supporting performance, not a lead. But who gives a shit, Winslet is finally getting her due. Unfortunate the Academy works like this, but it does, so get over it.

10:35pm CST:

• Good representation for the Best Actor clan. Adrien Brody's surprise win for The Pianist is still one of my all-time favorite Oscar moments. I also must point out that Richard Jenkins and Frank Langella getting recognized for their great work is well-deserved. As cheesy as it sounds, this is one of those rare occasions where every nominee deserves it so much, that it's a shame there has to be a winner. That being said, take it down, Mickey! You're my boy blue!
  

• I had a feeling this would happen. There's a lot of talk that Sean Penn is not beloved around Hollywood, but I don't think that's true. He clearly has the ultimate respect of his peers and deservedly so, he's spectacular. And he was great in Milk. However, I just really wanted Mickey to win this one. How poignant and wonderful would that have been? BTW, 16 for 20 now.

• 17 for 21 is how I finish as Slumdog completes its domination. Closing thoughts forthcoming.

11:28pm CST:

So I finish the evening with my best percentage in ages, but there was an absence of enthusiasm and excitement this time around. I can't place my finger on it other than the fact that my two favorite films of the year weren't up for the big prize and Mickey Rourke losing out to Sean Penn cast a little bit of a pall over the evening for me as ol' Mick was the only guy I was really rooting for in this entire production. I still love this time of year and while it left a lot to be desired as far as the quality of what was being represented, I still derive plenty of enjoyment out of this whole shindig. As far as the new format of the show, I still prefer the old way of doing things, i.e. showing film clips of performances instead of having 5 past winners come out and perform oral sex on each of the current nominees just didn't do much for me. One of my favorite things to do is watch award-worthy films and try to figure out which scene will be the "Oscar clip" scene and this year, I didn't get that type of fulfillment. Finally, I still think they should get a funnier, more dynamic host. Nothing against Hugh Jackman, but while he's not in Ellen Degeneres/Whoopi Goldberg territory, he was also very bland and forgettable. I had no problems with Jon Stewart, keep him coming back.

Stupid Sexy Flanders...

Before the Oscars descend upon us in all their glory this weekend, I thought it'd be nice to throw out some diversions I found entertaining/amusing/whatever. After all, the internet is a wild, wonderful place and frankly, I just felt inclined to do so. In advance, you're welcome.

- What makes more sense than a LOST drinking game? If you answered, "Nothing on this god-forsaken planet", then you are correct. Coming soon, a Mad Men drinking game where you take a drink every time someone on the show drinks (oh sweet irony!), smokes, or says something offensive and un-p.c., the last man standing by the first commercial break deserves to be crowned king and hoisted upon shoulders.

- Do you also find Amy Winehouse disgusting and repugnant? Then get ready to drink in an eyeful of this. Something about juxtaposing a fiend like Winehouse next to a woman so affectionately referred to as "Meatwad disguised as a blueberry" really makes me laugh. I guess it also helps to know the background of someone like Winehouse who is ALWAYS being caught on camera doing crap like this (and always topless...*shudder*), so it makes sense to see her playing drunk naked Scrabble. Just another day in the life for ol' A-Wine.

- I know "Sugalumps" has been the big, trendy superhit for Flight of the Conchords this season, but I thought their latest dance-flavored masterpiece from this past Sunday's episode was even better. Affectionately titled, "Too Many Dicks".



- I'm not the biggest Tarantino fan you'll ever meet. He's made some excellent films (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction) and some not so excellent films (Kill Bill Vol. 1, Death Proof), but holy shit does Inglourious Basterds (yes, that is the proper spelling) look kickass. If you're about ready to vomit from having to watch another generic war movie like I am, I have a hunch that Mr. Tarantino isn't looking to make We Were Soldiers Part 2.



- Limp Bizkit AND Blink 182 are back together?! Could this be the greatest year in music history? I think so.

- On a less sarcastic note, Green Day has a new album coming out in May. It's been almost five years since American Idiot so you can probably count on May as being the month that you get your ass rocked.

- Oh, almost forgot! Superdrag has a new album coming out on St. Patty's Day, so those two cancel out Blink 182 and Limp Bizkit reuniting (I think). Whew, I was worried for a second.

- I don't know what it is about the exchange of, "So you're in The Day The Earth Stood Still?" "Yes" "Why?" that makes me laugh so hard (what can I say? I like simple). More from between two ferns...

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

I'll be back later this week with Oscar predictions and of course Oscar Sunday, only the greatest day of the year.

TV Sure Kicks Ass Now

I know this is primarily a cinema-oriented blog, but since television has become an extension of what we expect from film, I felt that it wouldn't be entirely inappropriate to talk a little bit about the ol' picture box. Plus, the Oscars aren't here just yet, so we've still got time. We should all feel quite privileged because as much fun as it is to whine about any and every topic imaginable (the economy, stupid people, politics, nickelback, local sports teams, traffic, summer blockbusters...ok maybe we do have a lot to justifiably complain about), we can still take solace in the fact that we find ourselves smack-dab in the middle of television's Golden Age. Perhaps, it's debatable as to whether or not we're at its peak, but there's no doubt that the level and accessibility of great television is available to anyone that chooses to take advantage of such earthly pleasures. I'm sure there are plenty of nostalgia buffs who somehow, some way believe that TV was so much better when we could ride the wave of such classics as 21 Jump Street, Falcon Crest, Blossom, Alf, and other such wondrous artistic achievements, but those people would be wrong. Not in a "Oh well, it's just my opinion" kinda wrong, but as in "empirical/scientific data can support this" kinda wrong. However, the good news is that it's never too late for anyone. The advent of DVD collections is a gift for humanity entire! And since we're in the midst of the winter/spring TV season, I'd like to take a look at the shows that I'm currently watching and do a little run-down of each one:

Big Love - Very few shows produce at such a consistently high-quality clip as this one. And by very few, I mean the best of the best like Lost and Mad Men. While B.L. is not quite up to the level of those two shows, it's still better than most and features a narrative with good momentum as well as a fearlessness in asking tough questions about love, marriage, and overall morality. While Bill Paxton may be the "featured actor", it's the 3 women (Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny, and Ginnifer Goodwin) that elevate B.L. above most with not only their performances, but also the depth and complexity of their characters. So far, season 3 has been fantastic and maybe the strongest yet (it's definitely the strongest first 3 episodes they've had), but as with any long arc, we'll have to see how it develops.

Flight of the Conchords - It's no secret that I found the first season to be one of the funniest things to hit TV screens (along with The Office) since Chappelle Show. As a result, a let down was to be expected with their long-awaited second season, but even after viewing the first 3 episodes, I feel that the quality is on par with the first season, but that FotC is simply a show that suffers from a lot of hype. It's a low-key show with low-key humor that doesn't need huge comedic set pieces to elicit laughs so when a huge audience watches with baited breath expecting fireworks, it just won't work that way. All that being said, I've been quite pleased with the season so far and I'm confident that as it continues to hit its stride, it should only get better or at least maintain. It's also worth mentioning that FotC is a show that greatly benefits from multiple viewings (or at least the first season did), so that always must be taken into consideration.

United States of Tara - Only 4 episodes in on the latest from Juno scribe, Diablo Cody and superhero filmmaker, Steven Spielberg. So far, I'd give it a B-minus, but with promise. The first couple of episodes were very funny (as is the show in its entirety), but gimmicky in that you could tell they were designed to suck viewers in (which is fine by me). Since the show is not marketing itself as a straight up comedy, this won't suffice. Thus far, the dramatic elements have been handled unevenly. The ace in the hole for the show is that it has two remarkable talents in Toni Collette (duh) and Rosemary Dewitt at its disposal so in all likelihood, the success of the show will rely heavily on well the writers/directors/producers utilize these talents. Another bothersome element is the unbelievably understanding, flawless wisdom of the two parental figures that Cody has created (both in this and Juno). I have two awesome parents and even they acted like parents at some point during my youth. Diablo Cody would have you believe that parents are just bowling buddies you have to hang out with a lot...have you ever been a teenager?

LOST - I have an ongoing pseudo-joke that depending on which show is currently airing their new season, that particular show is my favorite on television, always alternating between this and Mad Men. So far so good for my boys Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. Excellent freaking momentum and of course, more twists and turns that make my soft head bleed with excitement and pathetic giddiness after every episode. What I love is that Lindelof and Cuse have said in interviews prior to this season that they have no desire whatsoever to make the show accessible to anyone who hasn't seen it (which for anyone that has watched it in its entirety, this has been a given since the beginning of season 2), which is just awesome for writers/producers of a major network tentpole hit to blatantly admit. It means that their only goal is to make the show everything it can be without worrying about all the poor dumbshits that never bothered to watch that "island show". Your life is empty, not mine. Have fun.

The Office - Still the best comedy on television. Up there with The Simpsons and Seinfeld in the annals of great comedy (of any medium). This season is no different. I still laugh my ass off every episode. The way they have managed to flesh out the supporting characters is probably what puts this show over the top. Everyone knows that Michael and Dwight are beyond awesome, but giving more screen time to characters like Creed, Kevin, Stanley, Andy, Oscar, and Angela on a consistent basis was a genius stroke not seen before in television comedies and now we're seeing other shows follow suit (30 Rock and Flight of the Conchords) that are reaping the benefits. Also, while I generally can't stand any form of sentimentality or drama in sitcoms (in fact, Seinfeld had a specific rule of never having characters hug or anyone learning any lessons...EVER), I will say that The Office handles it about as deftly as possible. It never gets cloying or maudlin, it's always earned and heartfelt...a feat that is much easier said than done.

- My latest project has been 30 Rock and I'm about 4 episodes away from being caught up, which explains its exclusion from this list.

- Also, No Reservations with my boy, Anthony Bourdain is not getting ignored, his excellence is just assumed. It's the perfect show for poor folks like me who can't travel or do anything culturally cool. Quick warning to those who haven't watched it: Don't watch it on an empty stomach, you'll end up trying to emulate the show by buying a bunch of crap at the grocery story to make one specific dish and then be left over with a bunch of shit that you'll never eat again. It's an expensive/gross lesson to learn.

- Patiently awaiting the return of Breaking Bad.

- Matthew Weiner is back on with Mad Men? Thank christ. If they would have let him go, they may as well have let Don Draper go and made it the Pete Campbell show. THEN watch those Emmys roll in, AMC!

- I'm excited to see how the audience for The Sons of Anarchy will grow this season as more people find out about this hidden gem. Catch the first season as soon as it comes out on DVD, you won't be disappointed. In the midst of a TV season involving Dexter, Mad Men, True Blood, and Entourage, ol' SamCrow managed to stand out as a show that I looked forward to watching as much as anything else week after week. FX rocks.

- Speaking of Dexter, pick up your fucking game. I wasn't disappointed by the latest season, in fact I may have been one of the few apologists on its behalf, but I still fear that it may be slipping into too much of a routine. While still fascinating, the end is never in doubt. Put a little Sopranos in your diet and inject some uncertainty into the proceedings. Make us squirm, make us uncomfortable. You have two more years guaranteed, don't wrap everything up into a nice neat little package every time.